The Eye of the Llama
by GaDS2000
Summary: An astronomical case of mistaken identity pits Carl in a prize fight against a galactic heavyweight contender. But neither he nor any of the gang realize that there's more at stake than a title.
1. Prologue

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Prologue:

(To the tune of "The Eye of the Tiger")

__

He wakes up, wants something to eat,

Checks the fridge, cleans his glasses.

Nothing's there, so he's out on the street –

He's a kid who just wants to survive.

Doesn't speak to girls he may meet,

He's no luck with the lasses.

There's a buffet not far down the street –

All he wants for just two ninety-five.

It's the eye of the llama he'll be wearing tonight

As a pawn in some interstellar drama.

Though he can't be defeated if he won't ever fight

Still he can't ever hide from the eye of the llama.

Tries the door, looks at the sign.

He could cry he's so hungry.

He's too late, 'cause the place closed at nine –

If he'd only been able to drive!

With the eye of the llama when it comes to a fight

Will he stand or go running to his mama?

In a bout there's no doubt that he would do what is right

And it's best not to mess with the eye of the llama.

Heading home sad and alone

He looks forward to the morrow.

Maybe he'll have a blueberry scone

When the bakery opens at five.

But the eye of the llama keeps a watch through the night

As he dreams in his alpaca pajama.

And the evil that's coming will be driven to flight

By the might that's the light in the eye of the llama.

The eye of the llama…

The eye of the llama…

The eye of the llama…

End of Prologue

Author's Notes:

This story is (or will be) somewhat unusual for a couple reasons. The first is that this is the first story with a prologue, but I thought that it would help set the tone for the story the way that an opening theme sets the tone for a movie. The second is that while Jimmy is the lead character of these stories, which are based upon "The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron" after all, he won't really have a lot to do in this one. After the more serious-than-usual events of the last story I thought I'd have some fun in this one and let the other characters have their turn in the spotlight, especially (as the title suggests) one character who doesn't usually get to do a lot. While I don't want to give away too much, imagine a cross between "Rocky" and "Star Wars" with perhaps a touch of "Marty" tossed in and you'll have some idea of what's coming up.


	2. Part 1 The Setup

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Chapter 1:

If you happened to be one of the few people on Earth lucky enough to have access to an interstellar spacecraft there were any number of habitable star systems within easy reach for a pleasant vacation or day trip. If you were unlucky enough to have a bad sense of direction or poor star map you might end up in the Felangie star system instead. While not a particularly dangerous place it was widely considered to be, in galactic terms, "on the wrong side of the tracks". This had been due mostly to a prolonged history of internal unrest and unceasing squabbles with neighboring star systems but in recent years things had begun to improve. Much of this was in turn thanks to the progressive attitude of Princess Leama, destined to be the Felangian queen and determined to have something worth having once she ascended the throne. Impartial observers agreed that this was not a particularly noble reason for her official policies, but they could not deny that the royal programs were working and nearly everyone on and off the planet was happier for them.

Nearly everyone, but not quite. There was one person in particular who was displeased by the improvements in general and who harbored objections to the princess' growing popularity in particular. This person was Lord Khormak, Felangie's Minister of War and ambitious political aspirant. As Minister of War Princess Leama's policies of interstellar amity greatly weakened the political importance and influence of his office. Still more serious her increasing popularity jeopardized his ambitions of someday usurping the throne. Consequently, as things on Felangie grew better, he grew that much worse. He had the ambition, the cunning, and the utter ruthlessness to succeed. All he lacked was a plan. It was only a matter of time before he found one.

He had been brooding on the miserably peaceful state of things when it suddenly occurred to him that the easiest way to goad the Felangians into wanting war was to show them how easy it was to win one. It had worked in many times and many places, and there was no reason to suspect that it would not now. The only real problem now was to select a likely target. It had to be backward enough to ensure an easy victory, but at the same time offer a bounty of riches for the victor. A rich haul would help strengthen the Felangian forces, and at the same time fuel the Felangians' desire for more. Once Khormak could identify such a target and demonstrate its weakness to his future subjects his destiny was assured.

"Exjay Nine!" he rasped.

Obediently his assistant droid wheeled into his presence, his posture impeccably rigid and yet still conveying the impression of mechanical obsequiousness. "Yes, my lord?"

"Identify all inhabited star systems within a radius of twenty parsecs," Khormak ordered. "Evaluate and report the current stage of technological development."

The droid was silent for a moment as its circuits processed the request and collated the desired information. "Felangie," the droid's faintly metallic voice reported. "Technological development level six point five on the Roddenberry scale."

The war minister gave a disgusted snort as his vestigial antennae quivered with annoyance. "I know about Felangie. Why are you bothering me with information I already know?"

"Felangie is within the specified search parameters."

"I didn't mean to include our own planet!"

"If you wish precise information," the droid responded primly, "you must formulate a precise inquiry."

There was no point in arguing semantics with an automaton and Khormac mastered his anger. "Fine. I'll be more precise in the future."

"Do you wish to reformulate the inquiry?"

"No. Just give me the report you've already prepared."

"As you wish," the droid replied agreeably. "Felangie. Technological development level –"

Exjay Nine halted his the report as Lord Khormak slammed his desk with his fist. "You already said that!" he thundered.

"You requested that I give you the report that I had prepared. Information on Felangie is part of the report."

Khormak's chest plate vibrated with the Felangian equivalent of someone shaking with rage. _I'm not the king because of Princess Leama_, he told himself. _It's because I'm surrounded by idiots._ In a clipped voice he said, "Give me the report you've prepared without the information on Felangie."

"Confirmed. Yolkus. Technological development level six point two on the Roddenberry scale. K-pax. Technological development level five point nine on the Roddenberry scale. Earth. Technological development level two point one on the Roddenberry scale. Gorlock. Technological development –"

"Hold." Khormak frowned, or came as close to it as his facial structure would allow. "Reiterate and expand upon Earth."

"Earth. Technological development level two point one on the Roddenberry scale. Distance twenty-nine point seven light years. Total intelligent population approximately forty billion. Notable –"

Khormak interrupted Exjay Nine. "Wait a chronon. _Forty_ billion?"

"Figure includes various sub-populations in addition to the dominant human species. Sub-populations include various interesting mammalian orders."

"Do they matter?"

"All sentient beings matter," was Exjay Nine's philosophic reply. "Including droids," it added.

Khoramak was dangerously close to living up to his office's charter, namely the effective application of directed violence. "Well, then, are these mammalian orders sentient?"

"Sentience has been difficult to ascertain as direct contact has never been established."

_Patience_, Khormak told himself as he forced himself to slowly unclench his fist. _Patience. Droids are ruinously expensive on a War Minister's salary._ "What I mean to say," he said fiercely, "is whether these sub-populations – interesting as they may be - are sufficiently advanced to compare with the dominant species in technological development."

The droid's voice almost carried a note of regret. "No."

"Then I don't care about them. How many humans?"

"Acknowledged. Would you care for a complete breakdown?"

"No," the War Minister replied as he rubbed his eyes, which were beginning to cross. "I'm already having one."

There was a second of silence as Exjay Nine processed this. "That does not compute."

"It's not supposed to. How many humans?"

"Approximately six billion."

That was the first good news that Khormak had managed to squeeze out of the droid. That many humans at that level of development meant rich spoils for any conqueror. "Excellent. You're dismissed. Send in my personal guards."

"As you wish." The droid retreated from the chamber to be replaced in a few minutes by two Felangians. They looked more the part of professional thugs than personal guards to a government minister – large, tough, well-muscled, and not especially bright. They were the perfect choice for handling assignments that required ruthless efficiency with a minimum of thought. They stood waiting patiently as their employer cracked his knuckles and fleshed out the final details of his plan.

"Gentlemen," he said finally, "have you ever been to a planet called Earth?"

The two guards looked at each other and shrugged. "No," one of them said.

"Well, you're going now. I want you to bring someone back for me."

"How much of them?" asked one of the guards.

"All of him. In perfect working order."

"What's his name?" the other guard asked.

"I don't know. But he'll be Earth's champion fighter. Tell him I'm inviting him to represent his planet in an exhibition match to determine which of our two planets is really the best."

"'Better'," the first guard said helpfully.  
Khormak blinked. "What?"

"It's 'which of our two planets is better'," the guard answered. "Not 'which of our two planets is best'."

"What difference does it make?"

"Well…" the guard began.

"Let me rephrase," Khormak said, determined to nip the discussion in the bud. "What difference to your continued health and employment does it make?"

The guard looked at his companion and shrugged again. "None, I suppose," he replied.

"That's what I thought. Now get out of here and bring me back my champion." The guards turned and left without a word, leaving their boss to savor the anticipation. Once Earth's champion agreed to fight the champion of Felangie he would promote the contest as a peaceful exhibition match. He would then use the fight itself to demonstrate to the entire planet how easily Earth's best could be defeated, thus inspiring the Felangians to launch a full-scale attack on the planet. There was, he admitted to himself, a slight chance that Earth's champion would win. But there were ways to deal with that possibility. Whether Felangie won or lost the battle, it would be Earth that would lose the war.

End of Chapter 1.


	3. Part 2 Odd Man Out

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 2:

Oblivious to the events unfolding on Felangie, Jimmy Neutron, Sheen Estevez, and Carl Wheezer were lounging on Jimmy's front porch and discussing a matter of vital importance to the three. The discussion had gone on for some time.

"So, what do you want to do today, Jimmy?" asked Sheen listlessly.

"I don't know. What do you want to do today, Sheen?" Jimmy answered in an equally bored tone.

"I don't know. What do you want to do today, Carl?" Sheen yawned.

Carl shrugged. "I don't know. What do you guys want to do today?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do today, Sheen?" asked Jimmy.

"I don't know. What do –"

"Hold it, hold it!" Jimmy interrupted, his ennui momentarily replaced by irritation. "Asking each other what we want to do is getting us nowhere."

"I see," Sheen responded thoughtfully. "So what do you want to do about that?"

"I don't know," Jimmy admitted. "What do you want to do –" He caught himself and glared at Sheen. "Stop that!"

"Well, how are we going to decide what to do?"

Jimmy thought about it. "Well, sometimes it helps to resolve an intractable situation by formulating a converse proposition and resolving the problem using inverse reductive reasoning."

"Uh-huh," Sheen nodded. "Do you know what I find helps even more?"

"What's that?"

"Speaking in English!"

"Yeah, Jimmy," Carl agreed. "Some of those words made my head hurt."

Jimmy sighed. "All I said was that maybe instead of trying think of what we want to do, we can narrow the field by listing what we don't want to do."

"Oh, I get it!" exclaimed Sheen. "Let's give it a try."

"Okay," answered Jimmy. "Fire away."

"So, what don't you want to do today, Jimmy?" asked Sheen.

"I don't know. What don't you want to do today, Sheen?" Jimmy replied.

"I don't know. What don't you want to do today, Carl?"

"I don't know. What don't you guys want to do today?" Carl responded.

"I know I don't want to keep asking the same questions over and over," was Jimmy's annoyed answer.

"Yeah, same here," agreed Sheen.

"Me too," nodded Carl.

"So where did that get us?" Sheen wanted to know.

"Not very far," Jimmy was forced to admit. "I'm afraid that our problem is beyond any recourse to logic or reason."

"You mean we have to abandon logic and reason?" Sheen asked, looking uncomfortable.

Carl looked absolutely scared. "But that…that means…" he stammered.

Jimmy hung his head. "I'm afraid so," he sighed. "We're going to have to ask the girls to do something with us."

"But that could mean anything!" Sheen protested, looking about wildly. "They might want to go shopping, or see some movie with lots of crying in it, or…or…" He lowered his voice to an intense whisper. "…or want to discuss our deepest thoughts and feelings!."

"It's horrible to imagine!" wailed Carl.

"I know," was Jimmy's miserable answer. "But it's better than just hanging around doing nothing."

"Speak for yourself," Sheen huffed in indignation. "There's no way I'm revealing my deepest anything. They're like my Ultra Lord ultra-briefs. If they were meant to be made in public, they wouldn't be inside in the first place." Sheen glowered at Carl and Jimmy, who were giving him strange looks. "What?" he demanded.

Jimmy was the first to recover. "Do you have a better idea? Or any idea at all?"

Sheen started to say something, screwed up his eyes as he racked his brain, and then slumped his shoulders in defeat. "No," he said. "I'm pretty much tapped out."

"Fine," said Jimmy, activating his wrist communicator. "I'll give them a call and invite them over and we can take it from there."

Carl spoke hesitantly. "Uh, Jimmy…"

Jimmy stopped in mid-motion. "What is it, Carl?"

"Umm…do we have to ask the girls over?"

"What's wrong with that?" asked Sheen. "I mean, they're obviously not our solution of choice, but they aren't all that bad."

"Well, no, but…" Carl swallowed then pressed on. "It's just that…well…whenever we all go someplace or do something together, Jimmy and Cindy always end up together, and Sheen and Libby always end up together, and pretty soon it's like I'm not even there anymore. At least when I'm with just you two I feel like I'm still somebody that matters."

Jimmy and Sheen stared open-mouthed at Carl, both feeling a twinge of guilt. It was true that recently their group gatherings had more often than not ended up with the two of them pairing off with the girls, leaving Carl the odd man out. It had happened so subtly that neither Sheen or Jimmy had been aware of it, but as the proverbial fifth wheel Carl had been painfully conscious of the change in the group dynamics. At last Jimmy found his voice.

"I'm sorry, Carl," he apologized. "I never really thought of it that way. But I promise you that won't happen this time. We're just doing something as a group. There won't be any pairing off this time, I promise."

"Absolutely, Carl," Sheen added. "Like you once said, we're the Three Amigops."

Carl brightened. "Really?"

"Absolutely," Jimmy assured him, pressing the code to speed dial Cindy's number. "It's all for one and one for – Hello? Cindy? It's Jimmy." He looked disgusted and rolled his eyes. "Jimmy _Neutron_…Well, how many do you know?…Hey, that's pretty funny, Cindy. Keep practicing, it's good to have a second career if you can't make it bagging groceries. What's that?" A look of mock sorrow came over his face. "Okay, okay, I apologize. I really meant _when_, not _if_. Look, it's kind of short notice, but…What's that?" He paused and listened intently with a look of pleasant surprise. "Yeah, that does sound good…Thirty minutes? No problem. Carl, Sheen, and I can be…" He paused and listened again, but this time he looked troubled. "But you don't understand. We….but…but…okay. Yeah, I understand. See you then. Good-bye." He punched the disconnect button and slowly turned to face Carl and Sheen, who were staring with expectant curiosity at him.

"What's the word, Jimmy?" asked Sheen. "Are the girls coming over?"

"Yeah, they are." Jimmy tried to find the right words. "It seems that Cindy's parents were invited up to the lake today by some friends, and they said that Cindy could bring some friends with her."

"That sound great, Jimmy!" said Carl. "Are we those friends?"

"Well…some of us are." He waited a second to let his words get through. "You see, Cindy could only ask three friends along. Libby was one, and Libby wanted to ask Sheen, and since there was only one space left…" His words trailed off as Carl blinked in growing comprehension and swallowed hard.

"So I can't come?"

"Not this time," Jimmy got out. "But next time…I promise…" As Carl turned and began walking stiffly away Jimmy called out in an appeasing tone, "I promise, Carl. I'll make it up to you. Really. Tomorrow we can take the Strato and go the Andes and see some real live llamas. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Carl didn't respond and and as he continued to walk away Jimmy's voice took on a pleading tone. "Or we can visit Brobot. You like Mombot's lunar pies, right? Or I can ask my mom to bake you those lemon cookies you like. Just name it." Carl passed from view around the corner without a word and Jimmy's last word was almost pitiful. "Please?" As he stared uselessly in the direction Carl had disappeared all Jimmy could think was, _What have I done?_

Carl walked down the street, blind to where he was going. He felt as if he had been cut off from everyone he had ever known and the feeling frightened him. He was not angry with Jimmy, or Sheen, or even Cindy, but felt confused and frightened at the thought that he no longer seemed to have the place in his friends' lives that he had once had. He slowed to a walk, looking around in a daze as he tried to find the words that would let him come to grips with his feelings. At last he clenched his fists and screamed up at the uncaring heavens the thought that filled his mind,

"I'M CARL WHEEZER, AND I MATTER!"

End of Part 2.


	4. Part 3 Talent Search

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 3:

Earth is not an appealing destination for most of the civilized galaxy. It is not located in a particularly upscale sector, and its limited interstellar amenities give it an official appellation of "rustic" in travel brochures, although "primitive" is the term most often used by those who have actually visited. Even so there are the occasional visitors who desire a more unconventional experience than that enjoyed by most spacefarers, much as some vacationers from industrialized Earth countries enjoy safaris in Africa or roughing it in wilderness areas. Word of mouth had actually made some Earth regions such as southern Nevada and western New Mexico fairly popular stopovers for some adventurous tourists, and these visitors can occasionally be seen them arriving and departing by those in the vicinity of Roswell and the Interplanetary Highway.

Skeets and Rocco were not among those adventurous tourists who traveled to Earth by choice. They were completely unfamiliar with the planet and would probably have never heard of it had they not been ordered to locate and retrieve the planet's foremost combat champion. They had assumed that the identity of the planetary champion would be common knowledge and that it would be a simple matter to determine who and where that person might be, making their trip a short one. Just to be safe they reviewed what little was known about Earth and determined that their wisest course would be to land at night and wear clothing to disguise most of their features, as previous visitors had determined that Terrans in general were notoriously xenophobic. The last remaining question was where to land. Earth had no spaceports or orbital space docks with convenient shuttles to the surface and the travel guide listed no frequencies for official landing beacons.

Faced with this quandary Skeets put the vessel in a parking orbit around Luna while he and Rocco discussed the situation. They could, of course, have landed without a beacon and asked the first inhabitant they met for the directions to a more conventional landing site, but it would have been the equivalent of landing a 747 in someone's backyard to find out where the nearest international airport was. More to the point they were males and the very idea of asking directions was both alien and repugnant to both of them. While they were pondering their best course of action Rocco detected something on the communication band and called Skeets over to listen to it.

"What is it?" Skeets asked after listening to the tone for a few minutes.

"I'm not sure," Rocco replied, "It's not a beacon, but it's definitely artificial and in the allocated spectrum for communications in this sector. I think that it's a carrier signal but nothing's being carried on it right now."

Skeets thought about it. "What do you think?" he asked at last.

"It might be a personal communications station," was Rocco's response. "Whatever it is it's the closest indication of extraplanetary technology." He thought a few seconds more. "I say we follow it and land as near it as possible while remaining discreet. It's after dark there now."

"Sound good," his associated nodded. "Let's take her down."

Rocco complied, bringing the craft down without incident in a small stand of trees on the outskirts of the town. The town was, or course, Retroville, for the signal they had followed was a communication beam that Jimmy maintained at his lab to communicate with his various space probes and growing list of extraterrestrial acquaintances. He had long ago discovered that there were a vast number of intelligent signals, as yet undetected by SETI, crossing the cosmos and he had adopted one of those frequencies for his personal use. One reason for doing so was to avoid any interference by the finicky government bureaucracies in charge of allocating and monitoring the limited electromagnetic frequencies known to them. Another was that the alien techniques allowed him to send signals much farther than limited Earth communications technology could possibly reach.

Once they had touched down the Felangians donned their concealing outfits and cautiously emerged from their spacecraft. Rocco looked about warily as Skeets took various measurements with a small device. After studying the readings on his scanner Skeets pocketed it with a grunt of satisfaction. "This atmosphere is a little richer in oxygen and the gravity approximately one-third less," he announced. "We can stay here for some time if need be."

"Where to now?" asked Rocco.

"We should see out an information repository," Skeets answered. "There should be personnel there who can answer our questions. If not, the archives should contain the data we seek." He pressed a button on a small remote control, locking the spacecraft and activating the alarm. This was, after all, a bad neighborhood.

Rocco had no objections and the two moved quickly but with practiced care towards a street and down it towards the cluster of lights marking downtown Retroville. From time to time they passed people but said nothing, as the fewer people with whom they interacted the better. Some gave the tall figures in trench coats and fedoras curious glances but for the most part they were ignored. As they walked they kept an alert eye out for a central information center or library but saw nothing that matched what they associated with the concept. Ironically their journey took them past a branch of the Retroville library but they passed by with reaction. Even had the library been open they did not associate information with printed matter still in widespread use on Earth and would doubtless have ignored the place anyway. After half an hour of walking Rocco suddenly nudged his companion and pointed.

What Rocco had spotted was an information repository in the loosest sense of the term, although not in the sense that he and Skeets understood the term. It was an all-night video store, but the sight of people making careful selections and the images on video displays convinced them that they had arrived at their destination. Without discussion they entered and approached the clerk behind the register, which they assumed was the information desk.

"Can I help you?" the clerk asked helpfully.

"Yes," answered Skeets carefully. As with most species used to visiting other planets he wore a translator and he spoke slowly to ensure that he would not overtax the units ability to render his speech into his listener's language. "I am seeking records of your fighting champion."

"Records?" the clerk asked.

"Yes. Recorded images and information."

"Oh, right. Did you want DVDs or videotapes?"

Skeets waited for the translator to provide the meanings of the clerk's words. "Yes."

"O-ka-a-ay," the clerk said slowly. He was used to odd responses on the night shift. "We have shelves full of them. Any particular subject?"

"Of fighting champions." The clerk looked puzzled and Skeets tried again. "Of those who fight and win the championship. The best fighter."

The clerk's face showed dawning comprehension, although to Skeets and Rocco who were not familiar with Terran facial expressions the clerk might just as easily have been yawning or getting ready to throw up. "I get it. You mean a boxing film?"

"Yes," Skeets answered eagerly. "You know of it?"

"Well…" The clerk considered it, running through the list of films in his mind. "There have been a lot of fight films. _The Champ, The Main Event, On the Waterfront, Raging Bull, Requiem for a Heavyweight…"_

"I need the best," said Skeets.

The clerk thought about it. "Well, I guess that would probably be _Rocky_."

"I like that name," said Rocco, who had been silent up to then, but Skeets wanted to be sure.

"Rocky is the best?"

The clerk shrugged. "Won the Oscar. So did _On the Waterfront_, but that was fifty years ago. _Rocky_ is more, you know, a little more contemporary."

"We wish the most recent."

"Well, that would be _Rocky_. The DVD should be over there…" The clerk pointed helpfully. "…in the Drama section."

"Thank you," replied Skeets. "I will check." Accompanied by Rocco, Skeets headed to the designated section and began searching through the cases. The translator helped with spoken language, but not written text, and he had to laboriously transliterate the strange symbols to find a match. At last he located the DVD he was seeking, pulled it out, and began slowly reading the synopsis of the movie on the back of the rental case. Rocco read along over his shoulder, moving his lips as he sounded out the strange words. "Yes," Skeets said at last. "This heavyweight champion this underdog Rocky faces is the one we seek."

"I concur. Now we must locate him."

"Perhaps the director at the information desk can be of assistance."

Before Rocco could respond they became aware of a disturbance at the checkout counter. A small, pale Terran was in a heated discussion with the clerk who had helped them.

"What do you mean, am I ready for this?" the Terran was saying.

The clerk shrugged and attempted to defuse the situation. "Well, sir, your previous game rentals have always been rated 'E'. _Leisure Suit Llama_ is rated 'PG' because of pre-teen flirting. I just wanted to make sure that you were aware of that."

"I know what I'm doing!" Carl insisted. "Carl Wheezer is ready for anything. Anything! I'm somebody! I always was and I always will be!" Carl laid his two dollas on the counter, snatched up the video game, and headed towards the exit.

At the mention of the vaguely familiar-sounding name Skeets looked at the movie information on the rental case, at the indignant Terran, and back at the case again. Something didn't seem quite right, but the human's words and attitude matched those of prize fighters that Skeets had encountered in his professional career and he decided that fate had delivered their quarry to them. _He has really let himself go_, Skeets thought as he nudged Rocco and began following the Terran out of the store.

"Oh, good, you found it," the clerk said as they approached the checkout stand. "That will be one dollar."

"Of course," Skeets answered as he and Rocco halted. He fished in one of his pocket and tossed an entire credit on the counter before proceeding out the door. The clerk picked up the heavy gold coin and inspected the non-human visage of Felangian Crown Princess Leama curiously before ringing up the rental.

__

Man, no wonder these Sacagawea dollars aren't circulating, he thought as he tossed the coin in the cash drawer. _She's even homelier than that Susan B. Anthony person._ It was only later that he realized that the two customers had only taken the case and not waited for the DVD itself.

Outside on the street Skeets and Rocco caught up with Carl as he stalked down the street in a huff. That was twice today that someone had slighted him and he burned with the slow, hot anger of one who has unjustly suffered for far too long. That alone was perhaps enough to explain his uncharacteristically vehement reaction when Skeets called to him.

"What do you want?" Carl snapped, turning around to face Skeets. The sight of the two large persons confronting him cooled his anger somewhat.

"A thousand apologies for disturbing you," Skeets replied, unruffled. In his line of work it was never good to become emotionally involved. "But I could not help overhearing. Are you in fact the Carl…uh…" He paused in an attempt to enunciate the name properly. "…Weetser of considerable fame?"

"Uh…" Carl had been taught, quite correctly, not to speak with strangers, but his fundamentally docile nature, the lingering hurt from his unfair treatment that morning, and the idea that someone seemed to believe that he was famous were enough to sway his better judgement. "Yes, I am," he answered. "Did you want an autograph?"

Skeets and Rocco exchanged satisfied smiles. "Actually," Skeets went on, "our employer would deem it a great honor if you were to accompany us and have a few pleasant words with him."

Alarms began to sound in the back of Carl's mind. "I don't think so," he answered. "I mean, it's getting late and I'm not allowed to go anywhere with strangers unless my parents and I know them pretty well."

Skeets sighed as long experience prompted him to move forward as Rocco maneuvered to flank Carl. "I am afraid that our employer was most insistent," he said quietly, as his hand moved to an inside pocket of his trenchcoat.

"Uh, no, really," Carl stammered, his mouth going dry with fear. He backpedaled in a desperate attempt to keep his distance from Skeets only to be blocked by Rocco's massive form. "I mean, I'm renting this cartridge by the day and really have to get my game time in as soon as possible to get my money's worth, so maybe…some…other..."

"It appears," Skeets answered while Rocco clamped two huge hands like iron vises on Carl's shoulders, "that we will have to make you an offer you cannot refuse." As Carl stared in terror, too frightened to speak, Skeets pulled an unfamiliar device from beneath his coat, aimed it at Carl, and pulled what was unmistakably a trigger.

End of Part 3.


	5. Part 4 Hail to the Champ

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 4:

When the effect of the stasis ray wore off Carl was not sure what had happened or where he was, but he was quite sure that he was not happy with the situation. Skeets and Rocco had had little trouble delivering him to Felangie and he was now in Minister Khormak's office with, from his point of view, three six-foot tall beings who reminded him a great deal of giant cockroaches. These quite literally alien surroundings eventually convinced him that he was dreaming but just to be safe he remained quite still and said nothing, hoping to not draw any unnecessary attention to himself. Besides, the more massive gravity of Felangie made him feel strangely tired and encouraged him to remain as still as possible.

He needn't have worried. While Skeets and Rocco waited patiently the Minister of War seemed completely preoccupied with other matters. He would look at the DVD case in his hand, then at Skeets and Rocco, then at Carl, and then back at the DVD case again. Every now and again his mouth would open as if to say something, and then close again without a sound. All this time his face went through a remarkable variety of expressions and hues that fascinated Carl. When Khormak finally seemed to tire of this pantomime he collapsed in the chair behind his vast desk with a numb look on his face. Once again he looked at the muscular black man on the DVD case and then at the pale round boy standing in front of him before speaking. To his mild surprise Carl found that he could understand him.

"You idiots!" was all Khormak could say. "This is not Carl Weathers!"

"No," said Carl pleasantly. "Carl Wheezer." He laughed apologetically. "A lot of people make that mistake."

Khormak gave the human a dumbfounded stare before shaking his head and staring accusingly at his assistants. "How could you two bumblers mistake _him_ –" He stabbed at the picture on the DVD case. "- with _him_?" And he pointed angrily at Carl.

Skeets shrugged ruefully. "An honest mistake. We inquired as to whether he was this Carl Weetser, and he replied that he was."

"It's _Weathers_, not _Weetser_!"

Skeets gave another apologetic shrug. "I regret that, while my associate and I pride ourselves on our syntax and grammar, we are not accomplished phoneticists."

Khormak buried his face in his hands and groaned. "That doesn't matter now. What matters now is what I'm supposed to do."

"Couldn't we return the Terran to his planet and find the real champion?" Rocco suggested helpfully.

Khormak shook his head violently. "No. For one thing we can't make another unscheduled trip to Earth without risking an official inquiry or detection. For another, this recorded data is apparently almost thirty Earth years old. It's likely that this Carl Weathers human is in any better shape than this specimen."

"My sincere apologies," said Skeets with a bow. "I assure you that we had no idea that this was not the Earth champion."

"You had no idea," repeated Khormak sarcastically. "You…had…no…idea. You…." His expression and tone of voice suddenly changed. "You had no idea," he said softly. "No idea."

"Yes, that is what I said." Skeets sounded puzzled.

In contrast the Minister sounded almost lighthearted. "And no doubt every other inhabitant of Felangie wouldn't have any idea either."

"Yes, that is a likely possibility," replied Skeets. "But when they find out –"

Carl didn't like the cold smile that Khormak gave him. "Why should they?" said Khormak in a silky voice as he circled Carl like a wolf studying its intended prey. "Gentlemen, may I present to you the Earth's greatest battling champion?"

Back on Earth Jimmy and the others had returned from their outing. The day had been enjoyable, but Jimmy had not said much and his mood had been subdued the entire time. He had told himself over and over that he had done nothing wrong, yet even so he could not help but feel that he had and could not figure it out. Despite the fact that he was a genius he was still only twelve years old and was only beginning to discover the sometimes painful consequences of choices. He gradually became aware that Cindy was angrily calling his name and Sheen and Libby were staring curiously at him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "What did you say?"

"Since whatever you're thinking about is obviously more important than me," Cindy retorted, "I was going to suggest that you go jump in a lake." She slapped her forehead. "Oh, silly me," she added sarcastically. "We aren't there any more. Not that you were much better company then."

Jimmy sighed and hung his head. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm worried about Carl."

"What about Carl?" asked Libby.

"He was kind of upset that he couldn't come with us. He was feeling sort of left out," Sheen explained.

"He was?" Cindy looked perplexed. "Why?"

Jimmy tried to explain. "Lately whenever we five have gotten together he's noticed that the four of us kind of pair up and leave him on his own. He was thinking that maybe we were pushing him out of the group, and when we told him only two of us could go with you two girls to the lake…well…"

Both Cindy and Libby looked stricken. "Poor Carl!" exclaimed Libby. "I never really thought of that before, but…I guess that's kind of true."

"I guess there's only one way to handle this problem," said Cindy.

"Ignore it and hope it goes away?" asked Sheen. Libby punched his arm, making him wince.

"No!" said Libby. "We go to him and talk it over. We make him understand that he's still important to us and always will be."

"Exactly!" agreed Cindy emphatically. "I say we go over to his place right now."

"Sounds good to me," said Jimmy. "Let's go."

The four of them made their way to the Wheezer residence, but were surprised to find that he wasn't home. Carl's mother seemed worried the he hadn't returned and was unable to tell them anything other than he had left right after dinner several hours ago without saying where he was going. Jimmy, who was Carl's best friend, tried to comfort her.

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, Mrs. Wheezer," he said. "He probably went to see a movie and maybe stop off at the Candy Bar for a snack afterwards."

"You're probably right," answered Mrs. Wheezer with relief. "He did have that card for a free sundae he's been saving. If you see him would you please tell him to call so we won't worry?"

"We sure will," Jimmy promised her. "We'll tell him just as soon as we find him." Only after the door had closed and he had turned to face the others could they see that he looked worried.

"What's up, Jimmy?" asked Sheen as they headed next door to Jimmy's house.

Jimmy shook his head. "I don't know. But I don't think that Carl went to the movies or the Candy Bar. I know about that card he was saving and he used it the day before yesterday."

'Maybe he got another one," Libby suggested.

"You have to buy twenty to get the free one. Even Carl couldn't eat that."

"So he's doing something else somewhere else. What's the big deal?" Cindy wanted to know.

"Maybe nothing," Jimmy admitted. "But I have a feeling about this. Let's get to the lab. I can try tracking him to see where he is."

"How can you do that?" Libby asked.

"I put a tracker in Carl a while back just in case I needed a volunteer at the last minute to help me with an experiment," he explained, activating the DNA scanner to the door of his clubhouse that lead to his lab. "I told him it was a new non-addictive candy I was testing."

"Yeah, I remember that," Sheen commented. "I had some of that myself." He grimaced. "It tasted kind of funny.

"I had some, too," added Libby.

"And so did –" Cindy suddenly glared at Jimmy. "Did you put trackers in us, too, Neutron?"

Jimmy looked innocent. "No."

"Don't lie to me, Neutron," shed growled, advancing on him. "Did you put trackers in us?"

"No," Jimmy repeated as he dropped down the access tube to his lab.

Cindy leaped through the hatch after him, her threatening voice echoing behind her. "I'm serious. Are you lying about not lying?"

"No," Jimmy's voice echoed faintly. Sheen and Libby looked at each other, shrugged, and dropped into the tube after the others.

In the lab Jimmy activated his video screen and touched some controls to throw a glowing grid on its surface. "Vox!" he called. "Scan Retroville for location of Subject Wheezer."

There was brief pause as a glowing line passed over the width of the screen, and then the grid was replaced with the words:

SUBJECT WHEEZER NOT FOUND.

Jimmy frowned. "Extend scan to include tri-county area."

The screen was filled with the boundaries of the region surrounded Retroville with the city at the center. The glowing line passed over the monitor again, albeit more somewhat more slowly as there was more area to cover. After the scan was complete the map outlines were again replaced with the message:

SUBJECT WHEEZER NOT FOUND.

Cindy could see that Jimmy was definitely worried. Rather than have Vox control the scan he punched more buttons and adjusted some dials before activating the electronic search himself. This scan took much longer, and the others watched Jimmy fidget as his nervousness slowly began to infect them. At last the video screen once again displayed:

SUBJECT WHEEZER NOT FOUND.

Jimmy slumped back, stunned. "It can't be," was all he could say. "The scan is negative. I did a full search for him. He's not there."

Cindy voiced the thought that everyone shared. "Then where on Earth is he?"

"That's just it," Jimmy answered as he looked bleakly at the others. "He isn't."

End of Part 4.

Author's Notes:

I apologize that I haven't been posting these more promptly, but as with most other people I have other obligations that sometimes make getting these written, rewritten, re-rewritten, edited, and posted a little difficult.

As in most of my stories I have some subtle and not-so-subtle homages to memorable scenes from various movies and TV shows. The scene in which Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen are wondering what to do is actually from the Oscar-winning film _Marty_, while the exchange between Jimmy and Cindy about whether or not he put a tracker in her was a nod to a similar scene from _Men in Black_.


	6. Part 5 Royal Command Performance

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 5:

At that moment on Felangie Carl was fidgeting nervously. "Uh…I'm not really sure you have the right person," he said, his voice quavering.

Khormak pretended surprise. "Really? You look like a champ to me." He turned to Skeets and Rocco. "Right, gentlemen?"

Skeets caught the warning tone in Khormak's voice. "Right, boss."

Rocco, however, missed the hint. "What?" he said.

Khormak rolled his eyes but managed to remove the look of disgust from his face before turning back to Carl. "You see? The majority agrees. You're prime material. A genuine heavyweight champ if ever I saw one."

Carl had never bought a used car but had been manipulated by even the more ruthless and unscrupulous population of grade school and he could tell that he was being manipulated. Not sure how to get out of the situation he stalled for time. "Well…I weigh more than most people in my class…I guess…" he faltered.

Khormak twisted his mandibles into a thoroughly intimidating smile. Before he could further unnerve Carl, however, Exjay Nine entered the chamber. Khormak turned on the automaton. "What is the meaning of this?" the Minister of War demanded. "I left orders that I was not to be disturbed."

"A kiloapology, Excellency," the robot replied. "But Her Highness was most insistent."

Khormak looked as uncomfortable as Carl felt. "The princess? She's here?"

"Even as we vocalize."

Khormak looked about the room as though trying to decide what to do. There was no place to hide the human without taking time to disassemble him, and he could not afford to risk offending the princess by making her wait – yet. After no more than a few seconds, thanks to his long career of dealing with difficult situations, he came to a decision. "Send her in," he said smoothly, straightening his uniform.

"At once, sir," Exjay Nine intoned and exited. It soon reappeared with a diminutive yet commanding Felangian. Although Carl had expected to see someone who looked like the other three Felangians he had already met, he was pleasantly surprised to see that this new person was about his height and exuded an air of delicate grace. He became dimly aware that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. "Her Highness Princess Leama of Felangie," the robot announced.

"Your Highness," Khormak smiled, oozing as much charm as he could. "How pleasant to see you once again."

"That remains to be seen," Princess Leama responded coolly.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" the Minister returned in innocent surprise.

"I have heard…" the princess began, but her voice faded as she caught sight of Carl. For a brief moment she studied him with some curiosity and seemed somewhat flustered to notice that he was staring at her. Thanks to her long training as the crown princess she quickly recovered her composure and directed her attention back to Khormak. "And now I find that it is true that you or your minions have traveled off-planet without royal authorization. What explanation do you offer for this off-worlder in your company?"

Far from being cowed by her accusing tone Khormak smiled easily. "Why, Your Highness, the matter is easily explained. While it is true that my assistants left Felangie without your sanction I felt that the matter was of such importance that I felt that I could not in good conscience delay. If I have erred and offended you, I do humbly apologize."

"You have both erred and offended me," the princess returned haughtily, "and my acceptance or rejection of your apology hinges greatly on the nature this important matter you mentioned."

"Of course," Khormak said soothingly. He walked to stand next to Carl, placing a fatherly arm around his shoulder. "I knew of course of your efforts to foster interstellar accord and in honor of that I was arranging a special observance. This Terran was most eager to participate."

"What manner of observance?"

"An exhibition match between the Felangian and Terran fighting champions."

The princess looked totally confused, which Carl found to be enchanting. "You intend to honor my plans for peace by having two beings beat each other up?"

"A purely ritualistic and carefully controlled confrontation," Khormak assured her. "A demonstration that civilized beings can meet in a show of force, yet still observe the established proprieties and part on good terms."

Princess Leama was not stupid enough to completely trust Khormak or believe what he said. She felt that she could, however, trust the Terran as there was no conceivable way for him to have past associations with Khormak or his cohorts. She looked at Carl with curious wonder on her face. "You are truly here because of my desire for friendly relations with others?" she asked.

"Well…friendly relations are…friendly," Carl stammered as he blushed. "I'd like to be… friends. If that's what you want, then friends would be good."

The princess gave Carl a look of awed respect. "And you will actually fight Vermax to prove this?"

Carl had seen that particular look on other girls' faces before, but never for him. As Princess Leama continued to gaze at him he felt his heart thumping faster. Although physiologists have never been able to prove it a popular theory holds that as more blood goes to the heart there is a good deal less for the brain, making clear thinking impossible. Carl only knew that his head was getting lighter and everything except the princess seemed to be growing blurred and fuzzy. "Yes, I will," he said without even realizing that he said it.

Despite her strict training the princess forgot herself for a moment and gave Carl a warm and genuine smile that only made his heart beat faster. He smiled back hoping that the moment would never end. The princess, however, quickly resumed her regal composure and turned to Khormak. "Very well, Minister Khormak," she said, "I accept your explanation and your apology. The Terran is to be provided with whatever he requires to prepare for the upcoming match. He is also to be considered a royal guest and given whatever he desires for his comfort." She turned back to Carl. "It was very nice to meet you Mister…" She laughed in polite embarrassment. "I'm afraid I didn't get your name."

"Uh-huh," Carl murmured happily, still not out of his trance.

"Very good, Mr. Uh-huh," she continued. "Welcome to Felangie." She turned and left the chamber without a backward glance, finally allowing Carl to start thinking clearly again. Khormak vibrated his vocal plates, similar to clearing his throat.

"As the princess said, Mr. Wheezer, welcome to Felangie. Is there anything you would like?"

"Huh? What? What did you say?" Carl stared about him, realizing where he was again. "What's going on?"

"You've agreed to fight Vermax, our planetary champion," Khormak explained patiently. "You've promised that to Princess Leama herself, and backing out on the soon-to-be ruler of Felangie would be considered a serious breach of etiquette with the most horrible and unspeakable consequences."

"You mean…interplanetary war?" Carl whimpered in fear.

"If you're lucky. I guess you've never jilted a woman before. It's not pretty." Skeets and Rocco looked at each other and shuddered as Khormak went on. "Her Highness has instructed me to treat you as her royal guest and to provide you with anything you need to prepare for the upcoming match. May I ask what it is that you require?"

Numerous possible answers flashed through Carl's mind – his mother, clean underwear, a time machine to go back and undo this mess – but all he could cry out was, "Jimmy!"

End of Part 5.


	7. Part 6 Long Distance Calling

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 6:

"What do you mean, 'He's not'?" asked Cindy with some annoyance. "How could he not be on Earth? The last time I checked you were the only one with a spaceship."

"I mean that he's not on Earth," Jimmy shot back defensively. "I've run a full scan and he's not anywhere within ten thousand miles of this lab. That include the entire planet and most close orbital objects like the space shuttle."

"Why would Carl be on the space shuttle?" Sheen asked.

Jimmy sighed. "He's not on the space shuttle."

"Yes, I know that," Sheen said patiently. "I heard you. I was just asking why he would be there."

"He wouldn't be!" Jimmy shouted.

"Then it makes perfect sense that he's not there," was Sheen's unruffled response. "There's no need to get snippy."

Jimmy clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, but Libby saved Sheen from possible violence by asking, "Why can't you just increase how far you're scanning until you do find him?"

"In theory, I could," Jimmy said, relieved to hear something sensible. "But the volume of scanned space goes up as the cube of the distance. It took twenty minutes to search a volume ten thousand miles in radius. If I doubled the radius it would take eight times as long. If I tripled the distance it would take twenty-seven times as long. The moon is the closest celestial body and it would take over five centuries to search out to there."

"Why would Carl be on the moon?" Sheen asked innocently, but on seeing the blood in Jimmy's eye he hastened to add, "Oh, right. Mombot's lunar pies."

Cindy sounded incredulous. "You mean there's no way to find him?"

"If we knew which way to direct the scan we could," said Jimmy. "But realistically there's no way to tell. And it's not like Carl is just going to call up and tell us." He and the others were startled as the phone in the lab chose that moment to ring. Puzzled, Jimmy punched a button on the console before him. "Hello?" he said.

The video monitor was instantly filled with Carl's terrified image screaming, "Jimmy! Thank goodness you're there! You've got to help me!"

"Carl?" Jimmy lowered the volume slightly because Carl's shrill cries were causing the audio to oscillate. "Calm down. Where are you? What's going on?"

"If he's on the moon, tell him to bring me back some -," Sheen started to call, but Libby elbowed him in the ribs and cut him off in mid-sentence.

"I'm on a planet called Falafel…" Carl began, somewhat calmer.

"Felangie," a voice off-screen said.

"…and I'm supposed to fight someone named Anthrax…" Carl continued.

"Vermax," the same voice corrected him.

"…and now I don't know what to do because I promised the princess and if I don't fight she'll be really upset and I don't know how to fight and they said I could have someone come to help me and I don't know anyone else who can so I called your mom and she said she thought you were in you lab so I'm calling now and please you've got to help because otherwise I'll be in real being trouble…" Carl's voice died away as he ran out of air and began gasping for breath. When he could breath normally again he panted, "By the way, Jimmy, your mom said you need to clean under your bed. She said putting up a biohazard sign wasn't an acceptable substitute."

"Yeah, okay, okay," Jimmy hastened to say as everyone crowded around. "But slow down a little. Could you start from the beginning?"

"You have to fight somebody?" Libby asked.

"And what's this about a princess?" Cindy added.

"And did you get any lunar pies?" Sheen called.

"Well," Carl began, but before he could continue an alien face crowded him aside.

"My apologies," the speaker said, "but these calls are really rather expensive and in the interests of time and credits perhaps I should clarify. I am Minister Khormak of the planet Felangie. Your friend, Mr. Wheezer, has offered to engage our planet's fighting champion in an exhibition match in the spirit of friendly interplanetary sportsmanship. He seemed somewhat reluctant at first, but it seems that Princess Leama, the heir to the throne, was able to persuade him to compete. In doing so he has placed himself in a most demanding situation. If he were to withdraw from the competition after agreeing to participate it would reflect very badly on the princess' honor and she would be humiliated. She might even be forced to forfeit her claims to the throne. She has, however, instructed me to provide Mr. Wheezer with whatever he requires to prepare for his match, and Mr. Wheezer has requested you to come and train him."

"And if we refuse to participate?" Jimmy asked.

Minister Khormak's voice remained even and diplomatic, but the threat was all too evident in his tone. "Well, aside from disgracing Princess Leama, your friend would be very unpopular and it might be very difficult to guarantee his safety. And the pride of our people is such that it might actually lead to armed confrontation to regain our honor."

"Help me, Jimmy!" they heard Carl wail from off-screen. "You're my only hope!"

"It appears that I have no choice," Jimmy admitted. "All right. Give me the coordinates and I'll be there."

"Excellent," Khormak answered, clearly pleased by Jimmy's choice. "And from the people of Felangie, may I express -"

"Please deposit another twenty-five credits for another five chronals," they all heard a mechanical voice say.

Khormak frowned in irritation. "Well, I really must run. It was so good talking to you. Good-bye." And with that the video screen went dark.

Jimmy sat silently for some time. He didn't trust Khormak and was sure that there was a lot that had been left unsaid. He doubted that things were as aboveboard as Khormak had tried to imply, but he had no doubt that Carl needed his help. Finally he stirred and said, "Okay. I guess Goddard and I will see you all later. I don't know what's going on but I don't think Carl and I have any choice about this."

"Wait a minute!" Sheen objected. "Aren't we coming?"

Jimmy's mind skipped a track. "What?"

"Come on," wheedled Sheen. "We were bored, remember? This could be the adventure of a lifetime. Right, girls?"

Cindy looked indignant. "Are you nuts? The last time I was up in space I almost died."

"That's right," agreed Libby.

"'Almost' only counts with horseshoes, hand grenades, and Ultra Lord's plasma impacter," Sheen pointed out.

"That's 'close'," Jimmy pointed out.

"Thank you," said Sheen.

"And why?" Cindy went on, apparently ignoring them as she paced back and forth, waving her arms. "Because Carl has to fight some champion to defend some princess' honor and save her title and reputation? That is the most…" Cindy paused and went on more slowly in that dreamy voice that Jimmy had learned to dread, "…romantic thing I have ever heard."

"I have goose bumps," Libby concurred.

"Okay, Neutron, we're in," Cindy announced.

Jimmy stared at them with his mouth open. "But…" he began.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, cutting him off. "Just don't make me have to kick yours. We're going and that's that."

"Huzzah!" shouted Sheen.

Jimmy knew that arguing was worse than useless. The more logical and convincing his arguments became the more they would only convince Cindy that she was right. "Gas planets," he muttered. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

End of Part 6.


	8. Part 7 Human Nature

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 7:

Within an hour of Carl's call Jimmy and the others were en route to Felangie in his space bus. The bus had been destroyed during an adventure prospecting for asterubies but Jimmy had taken the time and effort to rebuild it. Part of the reason was because he felt it would come in useful some day but a large part was because he had grown attached to it during the short time he and the others had used it. The spaceship was much the same as before the crash that had demolished it but Jimmy had added some extra features to help make long trips more pleasant. After half an hour into the eight-hour flight he regretted having done so.

"Libby, could you turn the volume down?" Sheen yelled. "I can't hear the audio on the DVD player!"

"What?" Libby yelled back, dancing to the hip-hop music blaring from the sound system.

"I said –" Sheen began to shout back, when Cindy interrupted him.

"We heard what you said!" Cindy bellowed back. "Everyone heard what you two have said! Can you both knock it off? I'm trying to read!"

"What?" Sheen and Libby both screamed.

"Hold it down!" Cindy shrieked.

_That's it_, Jimmy thought viciously. He savagely punched a button on his control console, killing power to the entertainment systems and plunging the interior of the vehicle into abrupt silence. Sheen, Libby, and Cindy halted in mid-word at the shocking change. "Now, listen," Jimmy snapped. "Maybe you three have forgotten, but I am on a serious mission here. Piloting a ship at hyperlight speed across seven star systems isn't the same as driving my hovercraft around Retroville and I need to stay alert. It's hard enough piloting and monitoring the two dozen systems that keep this craft going without any distractions, and having all of you screaming at each other with the audio systems cranked all the way up is not helping things. So zip it!"

Sheen, Libby, and Cindy looked at each other with guilty and sheepish expressions on their faces. At last Sheen spoke sullenly, pointing at Libby. "She started it."

"I did not!" Libby objected angrily. "You started watching that dumb Ultra Lord DVD first."

"Yeah, but I was wearing headphones," Sheen retorted. "It was only when you started blasting out that flip-flop music –"

"It's called hip-hop!"

"Who cares what it's called?" Cindy snarled. "All I know is that I was reading a videobook and not bothering anyone when you and Sheen started having some kind of stereo war and bothering everybody."

"That's not true!" Libby snapped back.

"Yeah," Sheen agreed. "And besides, you always mumble under your breath whenever you read."

"I do not!"

"Oh, you do, too!"

"Do not!"

As the squabbling rose in volume and intensity Jimmy groaned to himself in frustration, regretting that he had no switch to mute the sound of his passengers. _Whoever said that in space no one can hear you scream_, he thought, _was an unrealistic optimist or had never left Earth._ "All right!" he called back futilely. "If you don't settle down this minute we're turning right around and going home. I mean it! Did you hear me…?"

While Jimmy was attempting ride herd on his unruly group things appeared to be deteriorating for Minister Khormak as well. The Terran had quieted down upon learning that his friend was coming and had been escorted to the guest quarters, leaving Khormak free to continue with his plans for the upcoming fight. As a first step he contacted one of his less savory acquaintances who, in addition to promoting sporting events, ran a marginally legal sports book. After a few minutes of conversation Khomak terminated the call, looking worried. He still looked worried when Skeet and Rocco entered.

"The Terran is settled in his quarters and resting, Mr. Khormak," Skeets said. Khormak said nothing, his eyes shifting restlessly and short antennae twitching nervously. "Is something wrong, Mr. Khormak?" Skeets asked.

"Yes. Yes, there is," the War Minister answered absently. "I was just talking to Dargon about the upcoming fight. He said the best odds he could give for the fight was 3 to 2 for Vermax."

"That's good," said Skeets.

"No, that's bad," returned Khormak. "I had planned on betting on Vermax at 1000 to 1 or better odds against the human because it would be a sure thing."

"That's bad," commented Rocco.

"No, that's good, because I can win a lot more with the closer odds."

"Then that's good?" asked Skeets.

"No, it's bad," countered Khormak, standing up and pacing back and forth. "The short odds mean that the humans are apparently more resourceful than I had thought them to be. Do you recall a show called _Intergalactic Showdown_?"

"Sure," said Rocco. "I loved that show. But it's not on anymore."

"Do you know why?"

"Umm…the network decided to retool the show, I think."

Khomrak stopped pacing. "That's the official word. The real story is that the winning team shut it down for good. Do you remember the name of the winning team?"

"Team Jellybag, I think," offered Rocco.

"It was Team Earth!" Khormak snarled, slamming his fists down on his desk. "The same Earth that this Terran is from!" He resumed pacing. "Any race that can beat the Gorlocks is a force to be reckoned with."

"That's…bad?" Skeets said hesitantly.

"No, it's worse. As one of the losing teams the Gorlocks were going to be destroyed. But by shutting the show down the humans saved the Gorlocks. And the Brains. And the Needleheads." Khormak shook his head. "None of them will take kindly to anyone threatening the humans. And there's more." He stopped pacing again and faced Skeets and Rocco. "Do you remember the incident with Poultra on Yolkus?"

Skeets thought about it. "Didn't Poultra leave Yolkus?"

"She did. The Yolkians apparently underestimated the humans who not only escaped Poultra but defeated their King Goobot's royal fleet as well."

"For a planet without star travel they certainly get around," observed Rocco.

"Oh, that's brilliant," Khormak returned sarcastically. "I have a situtation growing worse by the minute and you favor me with brilliant comments that they…that they…" His voice faded as he thought about what Rocco had said. "They don't have space travel, do they? Their technology level is barely up to interplanetary probes. They're centuries away from interstellar travel. How could they have even gotten to Yolkus? Or expect to get here? Or even have trans-system communications?"

Skeets shrugged. "I don't know."

"I know someone who does." He picked up the handset to his comlink and barked, "Connect me with King Goobot of Yolkus at once. Tell him that Minister Khormak of Felangie is calling." He paused, listening to the communications operator. "Yes, I know I'm making a good deal of long-distance calls today. This is important. Official business." Another pause. "I am not being snippy. I have an urgent call to make and would appreciate your cooperation. Yes. I'll remember that." Under his breath he muttered, "And I have your number as well, you bureaucratic pinhead." As his viewscreen came to life his tone tone suddenly changed. "What? Oh, King Goobot. How are you today, Your Majesty?"

"Did you just call me a bureaucratic pinhead?" Goobot's dry voice came over the connection.

"Oh, no, certainly not, Your Majesty. I was referring to an underling. It's been terribly hard to get good help lately."

"Yes, I know the feeling," replied Goobot. "Was there something you wished to discuss?"

"Well, as a matter of fact," Khormak said, "I was hoping you might tell me what you know about humans."

"Humans? Whatever for? Considering alternative food sources?"

"No, just a minor diplomatic matter. I had heard that you knew something about them."

Goobot thought about this. He did not trust Khormak, just as he knew that Khormak did not trust him, and he considered just how much he should divulge and for what price. "Just a little, I should say," he finally answered.

"Would you consider them resourceful or dangerous?"

"As a rule, no," Goobot replied. "Rather stupid, soft, and dull, and hardly dangerous. Except perhaps for one. A regular pain in the shell if you give him half the chance to be." The Yolkian's eyes narrowed and his voice took on an bitter edge. "Oh yes, there's one human that I would dearly love to see out of the way."

"Really? That's…interesting. Do humans have individual designations or do they simply mingle in herds?" Khormak knew the answer perfectly well, but attempted to sound as ingenuous as possible.

"Oh, they each have names," said Goobot, warming to having an interested audience who knew less than he did. "Although rather odd ones."

"So I expect that even this pain in the shell had one. I don't suppose you ever caught it?" Khormak didn't know why but he suspected he already knew the answer. It would be inconceivable for more than one human to have interstellar communications and starflight capabilities.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Goobot answered warily. "But I'm not sure that I should tell you."

"Well, I doubt anyone would remember anyway," Khormak said casually, hoping to finesse the information from the Yolkian. "I expect that you were more than a match for anything the Terran had to offer."

Goobot preened a bit. "Well, that's true enough."

Khormak sighed. "A pity I wasn't there to see it. It would make fascinating reading in the periodicals here. Perhaps someday you'll be good enough to write it down and submit it for the court circular. The great King Goobot matched against that insignificant human speck named…umm…"

"Jimmy Neutron," Goobot finished automatically before realizing what he had done. "He never had a chance."

"I don't doubt it," said Khormak, not believing Goobot's lies for an instant. "Well, thank you so much for your time, Your Majesty. You've been very gracious. We must do lunch together someday."

"Certainly. Your treat, of course."

"Of course. Good day." Only after the connection was broken did his pleasant manner evaporate as he dwelt on the name. _Jimmy Neutron_. Goobot had all but admitted that he had been the one responsible for the Yolkians' humiliating defeat. And he could almost bet that that same Jimmy Neutron had had a hand in the demise of the _Intergalactic Showdown_ show. And now this same Jimmy Neutron was on his way to Felangie, putting Khormak's own plans in jeopardy. But this time Khormak had the advantage. He knew that Jimmy Neutron was on the way and could take steps to neutralize him before the human suspected anything.

"Something, Minister Khormak?" Skeets asked, reading Khormak's expression.

"Yes," Khormak answered. "We have a special guest coming our way. I want you to take care of him." He looked up to make sure there was no mistaking his meaning. "The best you know how."

End of Part 7.


	9. Part 8 Rough Trip

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 8:

"Are we there yet?" asked Sheen.

"No," Jimmy answered tersely. "And for the hundredth time, stop asking that. I'll tell you when we get there."

"How are we getting there?" Cindy asked. She didn't really care, but with the entertainment systems deactivated there wasn't much else to do. After the first round of squabbling Jimmy had refused to reactivate it and had told the others that they had to find some other way to entertain themselves which led to a short but seeming interminable round of knock-knock jokes from Sheen. This in turn caused Jimmy to relent and restore power to the audio and video players again but with a stern warning that they not start fighting again. This worked well until Sheen suggested that they have a karaoke contest. At that point Jimmy, who hated karaoke, immediately shut the systems down again and refused to reactivate them.

"I determined the direction of originating signal from Felangie and used the direction to lock on to Carl's tracker.. I'm following that," explained Jimmy. "From my calculations we have about 2 light-years to go."

"Hey, Jimmy, are you sure that our parents won't catch on to our being gone?" Libby asked. "I mean, we could be away for a while."

"Did you guys put those boxes in your houses?"

"Yes," Libby answered as Sheen and Cindy nodded agreement.

"Then there's no problem. They won't even know we were gone."

"You never did tell us what those did, Neutron," Cindy said. "They aren't going to put our parents in suspended animations are they?"

"Of course not," Jimmy assured her.

"Do they project some kind of holograms?" asked Libby.

Jimmy scoffed at that. "Holograms are old school."

"And they kept shorting out," Sheen pointed out.

"Well, yes," Jimmy admitted.

"And sometimes they gave people electric shocks, and they interfered with the TV, and they set things on fire, and…"

Jimmy looked guilty at Sheen's list. "That only happened once, and it was a small fire. And the shocks didn't knock people out for more than a minute. Usually."

"Hey, did I say I was complaining about the shocks?" Sheen objected. "That was the best part of them."

"You still haven't said what those gizmos did," Cindy pointed out.

"Oh. Right." Jimmy tried to think of the best way to put it. "Have you ever had problems remembering whether you did something or only thought you did?"

Libby blinked. "Say what?"

"Well, like when you when you got a glass of milk and left the carton out but you were sure that you'd put it back in the refrigerator. That sort of thing."

"Oh. Sure." Libby thought about it. "Like sometimes when my parents can't remember whether they closed the garage door or turned off the oven."

"Exactly." Jimmy returned to piloting his ship as the others looked blankly at one other.

"Am I getting stupid, or is it actually getting harder to see where he's going with things?" asked Sheen.

"Too close to call," was Cindy's dry reply. She turned to Jimmy and said, "Hey, Brainzilla! Are you going to finish that thought or are you taking it home in a doggy bag for later?"

Jimmy looked startled. "What? Oh, sorry. I thought I'd made it fairly clear."

"Oh, it was," Libby assured him. "Right up to where you checked out early."

"Well, it's like this. The human brain stores a lot of information. Some are memories of things that have actually happened. Some are things we imagine but that never really happened. Sometimes the brain confuses the two and creates something called a false memory, which is the recollection of an event that never really occurred. Some scientists believe that the feeling of déjà vu is related to this phenomenon and occurs when the brain confuses perception with memory."

"Oh, I get it," said Cindy. "You think that what's happening is really the memory of something that happened before so that it seems familiar."

"Exactly. Well, those boxes are transceivers that are tuned to operate in the alpha wave region of our parents' brains. What they do is implant subliminal impressions of each of us in the minds of our parents. These impressions will create false memories of our having been there the whole time we're gone. Our parents won't remember anything specific about what we might have done, but they will recall we were around."

"Interesting," mused Sheen. "I don't suppose we could use that in class when school starts, could we?"

"Sheen!" Libby said in a shocked voice.

"Hey, I was just asking!" Sheen protested. Further conversation was cut short by a steady beeping accompanied by a flashing light on Jimmy's console.

Jimmy studied his instrument panel. "It looks like were entering the Felangian star system," he commented. "I should be getting some readings now. Hmmm." He rubbed his chin as he considered some numbers appearing on a display screen. "It seems that Felangie is a little larger than Earth and has a higher average density, giving it a higher surface gravity than we're used to."

"What does that mean?" Sheen asked.

"It means as soon as we land the girls will weigh about 40 pounds more than they did on Earth."

This did not sit well with Cindy and Libby. "What?!" they shrieked.

Jimmy couldn't help laughing. "Relax," he said. "You won't actually have changed. It's just gravity."

"A lot you know," Cindy said angrily. "Gravity is a girl's worst enemy."

"Wrinkles," said Libby, looking worried.

"Bagging," added Cindy.

"Sagging," Libby went on.

"Okay, okay, " Jimmy relented. "I'll figure out something. I'm actually more worried about Carl. He must be having a lot of problems getting around. It must be exhausting just for him to stand." He resumed his check of the readouts coming in. "And the oxygen is lower than on Earth." He shook his head. "Carl is not going to have an easy time fighting on this planet."

"Are you kidding?" Cindy remarked. "Wheezer wouldn't have an easy time if he were fighting back on Earth. I just hope that this Vermax kid he's been matched up with isn't too big."

Jimmy shrugged. "I'm sure that he'll be fighting someone in his own grade for it to be a fair fight. Otherwise, what's the point of having the fight at all?"

"Why would any fight with Carl have a point?" Libby observed. "Even Butch and Terry didn't pick on him much."

"Who knows?" said Sheen. "Maybe someone saw him when he was on _Intergalactic Showdown_ with the rest of us and thought it would be a good human interest angle." He thought for a second before adding, "Or would that be 'alien interest'?"

"Maybe Sheen's right," Cindy commented, but her experience with other races had taught her to be more suspicious. "But just the same I think we ought to keep our eyes open. There's something about this that doesn't add up to me."

__

Girls, thought Jimmy in disgust, but turned his attention to landing the bus at the spaceport on the edge of the city from which Carl's tracker signal was emanating. He didn't have to do much, as the spaceport's automated landing system caught the spacecraft in a tractor beam and gently guided it to a vacant landing site. Once down Jimmy and the others debarked, staggering a bit from the greater gravity, and were surprised to find two large Felangians waiting for them. Neither appeared to be wearing a uniform or any visible symbols of authority but both acted as though they were used to having their wishes obeyed.

"Excuse me," one of them said politely, "but we are seeking a certain Earth party."

"Aren't we all?" said Sheen. "But I haven't been to a party for months. Good luck getting invited to any."

The speaker seemed confused, but pressed forward. "Allow me to clarify. My associate and I were informed that one Chummy Norton was arriving from Earth today. Would any of you be he?"

The Earth kids looked at each other before Cindy asked, "Do you mean Jimmy Neutron?"

The Felangian appeared to relax and said in a somewhat apologetic tone, "I beg you pardon. That could indeed be the name. My pronunciation of names is sadly deficient."

"I'm Jimmy Neutron," said Jimmy. "Is there something I can do for you gentlemen?"

Jimmy's reply seemed to please the Felangians but Cindy sensed that it had nothing to do with the polite nature of Jimmy's response. She almost felt that Jimmy was being led into a trap and was disturbed to see both Felangians slipping hands inside their outer coverings. "That is quite good to hear," said the Felangian. "There is a most urgent matter that requires your immediate presence and attention. Would you come with us, please?"

"What about the others?" asked Jimmy. He too was beginning to feel uneasy.

"They will be quite safe, I assure you," the large extraterrestrial replied. "Only you are needed, so if you will come with us all will be well." He and the second Felangian began moving in on Jimmy in what he immediately recognized was a flanking maneuver. The cold efficiency of their manner and movements frightened Jimmy and the others and there seemed little that they could do to stop them.

"I – I think I should check on my friend here first," Jimmy stammered. "After that we can –"

The Felangian shook his head. "I'm afraid that will not do," he told Jimmy quietly. "We have very specific instructions. You will come with us." He and his associate each reached for Jimmy with their free hands, their other hands still hidden inside their outer garments. "Now."

End of Part 8.


	10. Part 9 Saved by the Belle

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 9:

Jimmy felt the two Felangians' fingers tighten on his arms steel cables. He tried to squirm free but found that he was could not budge his captors' hold on him so much as a fraction of an inch. Sheen stared mutely, too surprised and frightened for the moment to move, but Libby and Cindy had been coached on dealing with improper advances by strangers and recovered from their shock more quickly.

"Cindy!" Libby called. "Have you got a hatpin?"

__

A hatpin? Cindy thought. "No problem, Libby," she called. "Just give me a couple minutes while I change into my great-grandmother!" She then assumed a strong martial arts stance and adopted a fierce expression. "All right!" she snarled. "Drop the big-headed Earthling and no one gets hurt!"

"Cindy!" Jimmy yelled. "No! We don't want any trouble!"

The two large Felangians did not release Jimmy but turned their attention to Cindy. For a second they looked at each other, exchanged a curt nod, and began to pull their concealed hands from under their outer coverings. As they did so Cindy caught the flash of unfamiliar devices in their hands and she braced herself for the worst.

"What is the meaning of this?" a voice rang out behind her.

The effect of the voice was magical. Immediately Jimmy felt himself released and the devices Cindy had glimpsed vanished beneath the Felangians' robes without a trace. The two Felangians bowed, and the one who had been speaking said, "A thousand pardons, Your Highness. We were unaware of your approach."

Cindy and the others turned to see a smaller Felangian about her height standing ten feet behind them. On each side of her were two Felangians in uniform, not as stocky as the two who had come for Jimmy but each a head taller and with an air of competent discipline. They towered over the smaller Felangian, whom the young people assumed was the princess to whom Carl had referred, but nevertheless she was the dominant presence there. She gave the two menacing Felangians a coldly imperious stare that had them both squirming. "I presumed as much. But I repeat. What is your business with the off-worlders?"

"Your Highness, we were merely escorting the Terran to Minister Khormak. He wished to welcome the Terran to Felangie."

__

Lie, thought Cindy. She was pleased to see that the princess also did not seem to be convinced.

"I see," the princess responded coldly. "And since when have these diplomatic duties been in the purview of the Minister of War? And why was I not officially informed of the arrival of the off-worlders?"

The Felangian shrugged apologetically. "I cannot say, Your Highness. I can only presume that Minister Khormak felt that he should spare you the burden, as it was he who had invited the first Terran."

The princess gave him a withering stare. "I see. As you are only following orders I will accept your presumption for the moment, until I can confer with Minister Khormak. But I bid both you and him to remember that it is perilous for anyone to presume too much." Her voice had a clearly warning tone and she waited for a few moments to let her words sink in. "Now, return to Minister Khormak and tell him that the off-worlders will be my personal guests during their stay. Captain Valtor!"

One of the four Felangians escorting the princess stepped forward. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"Would you the other guards please escort these two back to Minister Khormak with my…regards?"

Captain Valtor bowed. "With pleasure, Your Highness." He barked an order and the guards fell in on either side of the other two Felangians, leading them away. As the detachment disappeared from view everyone sighed and the almost tangible tension that had pervaded the area evaporated. Jimmy was the first to speak.

"A thousand thanks, Your Highness," he said, somewhat stiffly. "Your kind intervention was most appreciated. My name is James Isaac Neutron, although most people call me Jimmy. I would be honored if you would do the same."

"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Jimmy," the princess answered graciously. "I am Princess Leama Curinea Halela of the Royal House of Terchik, Heir Apparent to the Throne and soon-to-be _Regina Felangie_, Regent Sovereign of the Planet and Protectorates of Felangie." Suddenly she grinned impishly. "But you can call me Lee." She looked at the others curiously. "And who are these? I was told that only one would be coming."

"Oh, these are friends of mine and Carl's," explained Jimmy. "When they learned that Carl required assistance they wished to come along." He motioned to Cindy. "This is Cynthia Vortex."

"Very pleased to meet you, Your Highness," Cindy said with a curtsy. "And please call me Cindy."

"How do you do, Cindy?" the princess replied.

"And this is Elizabeth Folfax," Jimmy went on.

"Libby, if you please, Princess," Libby said, also curtsying. "Really, I mean that," she warned, wagging a finger.

The princess smiled. "I will remember. I'm very happy to meet you."

"And finally," Jimmy concluded, "this is Sheen Estevez."

Sheen seemed determined to outdo the others with formalities. "Sheen Guerrero Estevez, Your Highness," he said with a deep bow, "and I am at your service, rain or shine, near or far, morning, noon, or night."

Princess Leama regarded him gravely. "I think we have a candidate for the Royal Guard here," she said. "I'm honored to make the acquaintance of so gallant a traveler." At that Sheen's eyes rolled up and he fell over backwards, a happy smile on his face. Only then did a slight smile cross the princess' face as well. "Now that the formal introductions are over let's return to the palace. I'm sure that your friend Carl has been eagerly awaiting your arrival. And remember, please call me Lee. 'Your Highness' is so stuffy," she added as she and the others set off.

"Of course, Your – I mean, Lee," said Jimmy. "But don't you like Leama?"

"Well, it's a little old-fashioned," she replied. "It was my grandmother's name. Unfortunately a lot of royalty end up with names of their ancestors. Tradition, you know."

"I see," said Cindy. "I guess tradition is pretty important when you're a princess."

"Yes, but I wish to change many things. I don't believe that just because something is old it is the best way."

"That's very true," observed Sheen. "It's like with sandwiches. Whoever said that the bread always has to be on the outside?"

Princess Leama apparently had no idea of what a sandwich was because she went on unperturbed. "Unfortunately," she continued, "there are those who oppose some of my plans and programs. Minister Khormak is one of those." She shuddered. "I do not trust him."

"The two who met us were working for Minister Khormak?" asked Libby.

"Yes. Their names are Skeets and Rocco. I have reason to believe that it was they who brought your friend Carl back to Felangie." They arrived at a busy thoroughfare where, much to the humans' relief, a large hovercraft and driver were apparently waiting for them. After they all boarded the princess went on. "Carl is extremely fortunate to have friends who would travel so far to assist him."

"Well, he is my best friend," said Jimmy.

"And we've been through a lot together," added Sheen.

"Yeah, what with our adventures with the Yolkians, the space bandits, and _Intergalactic Showdown_, it wouldn't seem right for him to be all alone on another planet," pointed out Libby.

The princess seemed to take special note of that. "You have met the Yolkians?"

"Twice," replied Cindy. "Once on Yolkus, and once on Earth." She frowned at the memories. "Both times they tried to turn us into chicken feed. Not a race I'd ever trust."

"No," agreed the princess thoughtfully. "They do not sound like a race to be trusted."

While the had been speaking their craft had been speeding towards the outskirts of the city and taken a turn onto a long tree-lined driveway leading through a well-tended grassy expanse to a large stone structure. The hovercraft slowed to a stop in front it and its door silently opened as a number of Felangians, presumably servants, scurried from the palace to meet the vehicle's occupants.

"Well, home at last," the princess said. "The servants will show you to your rooms, unless any of you wish to accompany me."

"I really should check in with Carl," Jimmy answered. "I'm sure he's feeling pretty nervous."

"Yeah, that's sounds like a plan," agreed Sheen.

"And I just want to rest my feet," sighed Cindy, moving towards the door.

"Me, too," agreed Libby. "I feel like I've just walked ten miles."

"As you wish," the Princess Leama said. "I was just going to get some lunch and then do some shopping."

Cindy and Libby stopped in their tracks. "Shopping?" asked Cindy.

"Did you say shopping?" added Libby.

"Yes," the princess replied. "I need to select a proper outfit for your friend's upcoming match with Vermax."

"I guess we could hold up for some shopping," said Cindy as she got back into the hovercraft.

"Just a little," Libby concurred as she joined them.

"Oh, good," the princess said, sounding pleased. "I haven't been on a shopping trip with friends for ages. We should get something for you as well."

"Well, you'll also need to think about accessories," Cindy reminded her as the hovercraft pulled away.

"And jewelry and maybe a trip to the boutique to finish things off right. Don't forget those," Libby reminded the princess and they moved out of earshot.

Jimmy and Sheen looked at each other and shrugged. "What was that all about?" asked Sheen.

"Beats me," Jimmy answered and they followed the servants into the palace. "I thought the jeans and sneakers they were wearing looked fine."

End of Part 9.


	11. Part 10 Girls Day Out

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 10:

In the hovercraft the girls decided to first shop and then have something to eat. The shopping for clothes was nothing that Cindy or Libby was used to. Instead of walking through aisles of merchandise in numerous stores they stopped instead in front of a single large building in the business district where they and the princess were ushered into a separate room by a fawning salesperson. Inside these private rooms the salesperson would present models in designs of every conceivable color, pattern, cut, and design while the girls would sip chilled fruit-flavored beverages, sample delicately flavored pastries, and offer their opinions of the designs. Eventually three outfits were judged to be suitable and the girls stood on a platform that analyzed their contours and measurements for the necessary modifications. The obsequious salesperson assured them that everything would be ready on time and to their complete satisfaction.

As he took his leave of them Cindy and Libby thought their visit was over, but to their surprise several new but equally deferential salepersons with large cases arrived to replace the previous salesperson. The models wearing the selected fashions came in and the new salespeople opened their cases to select several candidate jewelry pieces that, in their opinion, best complemented the outfits. Once these had been selected Libby, Cindy, and the princess tried on the pieces to make their personal choices for earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. Once the final selections were made the salepeople bowed their way out, assuring them that the jewelry would be delivered on the desired date with their new outfits.

Libby sighed. "I could get used to this type of shopping. I think I may never go to the mall again."

Cindy nodded. "Tell me about it."

Libby suddenly scowled. "But I'll bet you the boys won't even notice when we dress up."

Cindy shook her head. "No bet. You might as well bet me that Carl likes llamas."

Princess Leama had finished with her final instructions to the salespeople and turned to them. "Are you ready for lunch?" she asked.

Although they had snacked for the past couple hours both Cindy and Libby discovered that they were still hungry. That may have been one of the virtues of the delicacies they had nibbled on, or it may have been the effect of the heavier gravity on their appetites. In either case they eagerly agreed to lunch and were soon in a restaurant with which the princess seemed very familiar. It was not as alien an experience to the humans as the shopping had been because they had both been to fancy restaurants with their parents before. They were cordially greeted by the maitre d' and personally escorted by him to a private table. Once there three lesser waiters appeared like genies to seat them, properly set the table, and then disappear as quickly as they had come once this was accomplished. They had scarcely departed when the head waiter himself appeared to recite the specialties of the day, extolling the ingredients, virtues, and superlative qualities of each in great and almost bewildering detail. As only Princess Leama knew what each dish actually was she ordered for all three of them, allowing the head waiter to retire amidst a flurry of bows and flourishes.

The meal was served in courses, much as on Earth, with enough delay between the installments to allow the three to converse. Princess Leama had been instructed well in the social art of conversation and it was not long before all three were chatting together as though they had known each other all their lives.

"This outing has certainly been a treat," offered Cindy during one lull. "I suppose that as a princess you do this sort of thing all the time."

The princess smiled. "No, not really. You'd be surprised how often my duties keep me from even having a proper lunch. It's usually only on special occasions that I can officially schedule a trip or meal like this in without my private secretary frowning at me. I suppose all those missed meals are what help me keep my girlish figure."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing we showed up," Libby joked. "Otherwise you might have wasted away to nothing before too long."

"Yes, quite," Princess Leama replied somberly. "Sometimes I think all the duties will wear me away to nothing, what with the new programs I'm trying to start and the opposition that Mi – my opponents are offering. Ever since I was a larva I felt that changes should be made."

Libby looked up sharply. "Excuse me?"

"Did you say 'larva'?" Cindy asked.

"Yes." The princess looked curiously at them. "Doesn't your species go through metamorphosis?"

"Actually, no," Cindy replied. "We pretty much look the same our whole lives. We just get bigger and change shape a little as we get older."

"Ahh, I see. On our planet we progress through several stages. Soon I will pass through my chrysallis stage be ready to assume the throne." She looked thoughtful. "I suppose that it must be dull to already know what your intended mate will look like before he matures."

"Not really," answered Libby. "We don't know who our intended mate will be until we get older and find them. And a lot of that depends on what's inside rather than just what's outside. There's definitely mystery there to keep things interesting because you can never know ahead of time who someone will end up being."

"How odd!" Princess Leama exclaimed. "On our planet we are hatched into castes that already determine who we will be – royalty, intellectual, warrior, laborer, artist, and the like. The outside changes, but the inside is constant. It is as though the patterns of our two species are the…are the…"

"…converses of each other," Cindy concluded.

"Yes," agreed the princess. "Alike, and yet unalike." She sighed. "I do not believe, though, that our caste system is the best way. I believe that the opportunity for change is necessary for our people to prosper. We readily accept that we can change on the outside. I wish for all to be able to change on the inside if it pleases them and am trying to promote that idea."

"A good plan," agreed Libby.

"Hear, hear," added Cindy.

"But it will not be easy," Princess Leama went on. "Many reject my ideas. Some believe that because I am young my ideas have no value, and that because I am a female what I think has no merit."

"Tell me about it," muttered Cindy.

"I hear what you're saying," agreed Libby.

The princess did not seem to hear them. "And others, like Minister Khormak wish things to remain as they are because he does not wish to relinquish his power. But that will change. It must change if our planet is to grow."

At this point the next course arrived and they were all silent as they sampled the various fruit concoctions on their plates. "Yes, that might explain it," the princess mused, as though to herself, when she had finished. "I had wondered about that."

"Explain what? Wondered about what?" Libby asked.

"About your friend, Carl. He did not seem to me to be of the warrior caste."

Cindy and Libby stared at each other and then burst into prolonged laughter. "A warrior? You mean a fighter?" Cindy asked when she at last caught her breath.

"Yes. But from what you say it would appear that humans need not act according to a caste. I found it puzzling that Minister Khormak would promote a competition between Vermax and Carl. I found it even more puzzling that Carl would agree if he were not a warrior." She nodded slowly. "Now I think I understand. He has chosen to battle, even though I do not know why."

"Well, I think I know why Carl agreed to fight," Cindy replied, remembering Carl's garbled plea for help to Jimmy. "But I'm not sure how your Minister Khormak even knew about Carl, much less pick him for a fight considering all the other human choices he could have made."

"You mean Carl is not a planetary champion?"

"Well, no," replied Libby. "Not as a fighter. But he's been to other planets and not many people from Earth have. Maybe that's why Khormak picked him. We don't exactly advertise on galactic cable so he may have picked the only human he knew about."

Cindy was not convinced. "Maybe," she said doubtfully. "But I think I smell a rat."

"Yes," the princess replied. "I believe that is the next course." Seeing the others' faces she said, "I am sorry. You are herbivorous in nature? What some races call 'vegetarians'?"

Cindy and Libby looked at each other for a moment without speaking. "Yeah, let's go with that," Cindy finally answered as Libby nodded, smiling weakly. "Got to watch those girlish figures, you know."

End of Part 10.


	12. Part 11 Preparations

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 11:

Back at the palace Jimmy and Sheen wasted no time finding Carl. This proved to be a simple task, as the rooms to which the servants escorted them turned out to be right next to Carl's room. While it made sense to Jimmy that the guest chambers would be near to each other it was also quite fortunate as the palace was quite a large building with seemingly endless halls and innumerable rooms. Even with his photographic memory Jimmy suspected that learning to get around the building would be a challenge.

Carl was ecstatic to see them, while they in turn were somewhat surprised to find that he was not alone. A robot with the designation Exjay Nine was present and also seemed very happy to greet them, if robots could be happy. He politely introduced himself and explained his presence.

"Good day, sirs," the robot said. "I am Exjay Nine. Minister Khormak advised me of your arrival and requested that I be at your disposal to assist you in any way that I can."

"Yeah, he's been really helpful," said Carl. "Did you know that he knows fifty-three different words that rhyme with 'llama'? Drama, comma, momma…."

"Yeah, whatever," said Sheen. "Do you have any recordings of the Ultra Lord show?"

"I'm afraid not, sir," the Exjay Nine apologized.

"Well, do you have any plasma disruptors or magma cannons we can play with?" asked Sheen, his spirits somewhat dampened.

"No, sir."

Sheen gave it one last shot. "Can you at least fold up into a truck or plane or something like the Transdaptors?"

"I regret to say that my performance specification do not indicate that I can," Exjay Nine answered after a moment's pause.

Sheen sighed. "Okay, that's all I got. Where's the food?"

"Not yet, Sheen," Jimmy interrupted before the robot could reply. "We have to get Carl set up for the competition. Exjay Nine, could you get us a copy of the rules for the upcoming match? Also, I'll need some chemicals and lab equipment."

"Certainly, sir," the helpful automaton replied. "If you will provide me with a list of the supplies you require I shall fetch them. In the meantime you can access a copy of the rules for the competition through the video terminal at the desk over there." The robot extended an appendage in the direction of the indicated desk. "Simply state your request for information and it will appear on the viewscreen."

Jimmy gave Exjay Nine a verbal list of what he required and the robot left to fulfill the order. Carl was puzzled. "Why do you want chemicals, Jimmy?"

"Mostly to compensate for the heavy gravity and thinner oxygen," Jimmy answered as he walked to the video terminal. "Haven't you noticed that you've been feeling tired and weak?"

"Well, yes," replied Carl. "But I feel that way a lot anyway."

"Uh, Jimmy?" Sheen asked. "Wouldn't using chemicals be cheating?"

"That's what I'm going to find out, Sheen. Computer," Jimmy stated, talking to the video terminal. "I require information."

Instantly the screen illuminated and a toneless voice answered, "State information desired."

"The official rules of the upcoming competition between Carl Wheezer of Earth and Vermax of Felangie."

"Accessing," the voice stated. "Information accessed and on-line." The screen filled with text and Jimmy spent the next few minutes reading it, stopping only to request the video terminal to display another page of information. When he had finished his research Jimmy deactivated the terminal and turned with a sigh of relief.

"Well, we're in luck," he said. "Apparently the interplanetary nature of the competition recognizes the need to compensate for differences in the native environmental conditions of the participants. So long as we don't artificially enhance Carl's innate fighting abilities we can do pretty much what we want."

At that moment Exjay Nine returned with a cart containing a number of marked containers and various pieces of chemistry apparatus. "I believe this is what you requested sir," the robot said.

Jimmy carefully scrutinized the supplies and nodded. "Yes, it is. Thank you, Exjay Nine."

"You're very welcome, sir." The robot headed for the door and paused. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, thank you. But can we reach you if we need you?"  
"Of course, sir. Simply tell any of the palace staff that you require my presence and they will fetch me straightway. Good day, sirs." With that Exjay Nine exited, leaving the three humans alone.

"Okay, so we can help Carl so that the gravity and air aren't a problem," said Sheen as Jimmy began measuring and mixing compounds with great care. "How exactly are we going to do that?"

"First, we compensate for the gravity," explained Jimmy, swirling a large flask of somewhat viscous liquid. "I'm going to put this on our shoes."

Carl looked at the substance curiously. "What is it?"

"It's a super-elasticizer," answered Jimmy. He emptied the compound into a large empty bottle and began concocting another mixture. "When I combine it with this batch of my endlessly adaptable compound Neutrogunk and coat our shoes with it the intrinsic rebound will cushion our feet and neutralize the effect of the higher gravity."

Sheen hefted the bottle of super-elasticizer and cautiously sniffed at it. "Mmm, minty," he said. "You sure made a lot of it, though."

"Well, I'm sure the girls will want some as well. Besides, I don't know how many coats each of us will need. It will vary with each person." He took the container from Sheen and poured a measured amount in the beaker of Neutrogunk, stirring it carefully to mix the ingredients well. "Okay, it's ready. Carl, give me your shoes."

Carl complied but expressed some doubts. "This isn't going to be like that waterproofing stuff you put on my pants, is it?"

"No, of course not," Jimmy assured him, brushing a thin coat of the viscous substance on the soles of Carl's shoes. "Besides, how was I to know that the hypoallergenic fiber in your pants would be that unstable?"

Carl fidgeted nervously. "All I know is that Miss Fowl was really mad at me that day."

"She'd have been even madder if your underwear had been unstable, too," pointed out Sheen. "Consider yourself lucky."

Jimmy finished coating the soles of Carl's shoes and handed them back. "Okay, Carl, try these on and walk around a bit." Carl did so, acting as though he were wading through a land mine. "How do they feel?"

Carl considered it. "They still feel a little heavy," he replied, removing his shoes. "I think I need another coat." Jimmy obliged by applying more of the super-elasticized Neutrogunk and Carl tested the shoes again. This time the modified footware met his approval, and Jimmy applied the gummy substance to both his and Sheen's shoes.

"Now to compensate for the oxygen," said Jimmy. Once again he set to work, mixing several of the chemicals to create a watery blue solution that he transferred to Carl's inhaler. "Okay, Carl, this should do it. It's a hyper-oxygenated compound that will charge your bloodstream with oxygen. When you feel short of breath one dose should provide you with enough oxygen to last you for five or six minutes. Just keep it away from open flames. It's inflammable."

"If it's inflammable, why does he need to keep it away from flames?" asked Sheen. "I thought you only had to be careful about flames when you had things that are flammable."

"Well, you do. But flammable and inflammable both refer to substances that will burn."

Sheem stared at Jimmy. "Then why have two different words? What's the difference?"

Jimmy sighed, sensing that he was on the path to a losing discussion. "If something burns, it's called flammable. 'Inflammable' mean something is very flammable."

"Oh," said Sheen. "Then 'insane' means something is very sane?"

Jimmy gave up, sorry for his extensive vocabulary. "I guess around here it does," he said. He was save from further discussion by a knock at the door. Carl opened it to find Exjay Nine standing in the hall.

"A kiloapology, sir," the robot stated, entering the room. "But may I speak with Mr. Neutron privately?"

"What is it, Exjay Nine?" Jimmy asked, coming forward.

The robot took Jimmy aside and spoke to him in low tones. "I'm afraid it's a bit of bad news, sir," Exjay Nine said. "Your friend Miss Vortex collapsed a short while ago and had to be taken to a hospital. She's all right," the robot hastened to add, seeing his face. "I gather that our planet differs from yours in some respects, and it was a bit much for her the first day here. But she's asking to see you. And she asks that you say nothing about this to the others. It seems that she's quite embarrassed about the situation and would rather not be subject to some thoughtless ridicule."

Jimmy nodded. "I understand," he said quietly. "I'm on my way." Turning to Carl and Sheen who were standing a discreet distance away he said, "I'm going out for a little while. I should be back soon. In the meantime, you should have lunch and then start training. You should be able to find some instruction through the video terminal."

"No problem, Jimmy," called Sheen, squinting an eye and assuming the manner of a grizzled fight trainer. "I've seen more than enough fight movies to get Carl started." He turned to Carl. "Ya hear dat, kid? I'm gonna make you a very dangerous poi-son."

Carl winced and backed off. "Sheen, stop talking like that."

Jimmy sighed but decided that Carl was in no danger. "I'll see you soon."

He was wrong on both counts.

End of Part 11.


	13. Part 12 Training Day

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 12:

Carl struggled valiantly, his arms straining mightily and beads of sweat speckling his face.

"Come on, Carl," Sheen urged. "One more to go."

"Just…one…more," Carl hissed through clenched teeth. "Just…one…more!" Mustering his last ounce of will power he forced his weary arms to move, pushing upward inch by inch until, with a final Herculean effort, he locked the pitiless weight into place and collapsed in a heap on the floor. "That's it," he gasped; his chest heaving. "I'm done."

Sheen regarded him with arms folded across his chest, seeming less than impressed. "I don't know, Carl," he commented. "I think there's more to weight training than just putting the weights on the bar. You're supposed raise the bar over your head or at least try lifting it off the floor or something."

Carl's only response to Sheen's observation was a long drawn-out whimper of protest and the sound of him using his inhaler. After Jimmy's sudden and unexplained departure Sheen had contacted the Palace Head of Staff to locate a suitable facility for beginning Carl's training. She in turn had contacted the High Captain of the Royal Guard, who quickly set up a private corner in the Royal Guard's training facility in the basement. Sheen and Carl learned that the Royal Guard lived and trained in the palace, as their duty was to protect and serve the royal family, and that during their stay the humans were considered an extension of that duty. Sheen had been curious as to why the princess had been permitted to leave with Cindy and Libby without an escort when four guards had accompanied here when she had first greeted the humans.

The high captain seemed had amused at the question. "What makes you certain she doesn't have an escort?"

"I didn't see anyone," had been Sheen's response.

"You never will. The guards that you may see will always be there as a matter of propriety, but there are always unseen guards present to keep Her Highness safe. I'm kept informed of her whereabouts every five chronals and there are always more reserves on call in the unlikely event a situation arises that the assigned guards cannot handle alone."

"Why do you have hidden guards?" Carl had asked. "Wouldn't having guards everyone can see keep people from trying anything?"

The guard had nodded. "It probably would. But Princess Leama has her royal duties to perform. By placing her in such a cage every minute she would be incapable of effectively fulfilling her many obligations. It would also make her appear weak and fearful and perhaps encourage her enemies to strike, rather than discourage them." He shook his head. "No, it is necessary that it be done this way. The Royal Guard must be the most vigilant, responsive, and resourceful of all in Her Highness' service, but it is a burden we are proud to bear."

Once the training area was set up Sheen got to work attempting to train Carl for the up coming fight. Unfortunately, as he had stated earlier, all he had to go on was the fight movies he had watched.

"Now listen up, kid," Sheen had told Carl in a gruff voice, "to prepare for a 45-minute fight you have train hard for 45,000 minutes, and you haven't trained even one. Why is that?"

"We just started," was Carl's answer.

"Oh. Right. Well, the first thing we gotta do here is we gotta build up your strength. So I want you to work those weights. Ya hear me?"

"Sheen, why are you talking that way?" Carl had asked, moving away uncomfortably. "I said I don't like that."

"Hey, who's training who here?" Sheen had bellowed. "Ya want answers to questions, go on a quiz show. But don't tell me how to train fighters. I've been training fighters since…since…" Sheen had paused to think about that.

"This morning?"

"Well, yeah, but that's longer than you've ever done it."

Carl had hung his head and begun setting up the free weights, muttering, "I wish Jimmy were here." He was still wishing for this fifteen minutes later, after he had exhausted himself by placing the smallest weights he could find on the weight bar. Despite Sheen's threats and pleas he was still lying inert on the exercise mat when Princess Leama appeared, curious to observe how his training was going. Despite feeling fatigued Carl struggled to a sitting position in a poor pantomime of a sit-up.

"Good day, Carl," the princess said. "Is all going well for you?"

"Yeah, pretty well," Carl said patting his stomach. "I'm just doing some reps to tighten the old abs for the fight. You know."

The princess nodded. "Yes. I have seen similar exercises done by the warrior caste. Have you done many today?"

"He's just done a personal best," answered Sheen truthfully before Carl could reply. "And that was after working the weights." Carl looked at Sheen, not certain whether to be grateful or angry.

"Very impressive," the princess commented, sounding truly impressed and making up Carl's mind to feel grateful. "I have been speaking with Cindy and Libby and have learned that your species can choose their path in life. Is that so?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Carl replied.

"So it is true that you were not born a warrior, and yet despite this you choose to fight for the honor of your planet?"

"Uh…" Carl hesitated. "Sure, I guess."

The princess looked and sounded terribly impressed, and Carl found it hard to think of anything but the admiring gaze she was giving him. "How noble! For one to battle for a greater cause without the skills or instinct of a warrior is…"

"Suicide?" suggested Sheen.

"…magnificent," the princess finished.

"Yeah, I'm going to go with her answer," Carl added, as though in a trance.

"Speaking of the fight," interjected Sheen, "when exactly is the fight?"

"Why, the day after tomorrow," the princess replied with some surprise. "Did you not know?"

"It must have slipped my mind," offered Carl, still thinking of how the princess had said 'magnificent'. "I'll be ready. I just hope this Imax guy –"

"Vermax."

"Right, him. I just hope that he'll be ready to bring it to me."

"Bring what to you?" Princess Leama asked, confused.

"Figure of speech," explained Sheen. "He means he hopes that Vermax will be ready to put up a good fight."

"Oh, assuredly. I understand that he is ranked Number 4 in the galaxy."

This brought Carl out of his reverie. "In the galaxy?"

"Oh, yes. He is the best in his class on Felangie."

Sheen scoffed. "No problem. When it comes to heavyweights, Carl is the best in our class on Earth."

The princess smiled and Carl found himself unable to take his eyes off that smile. "I can believe that. He has a noble nature and valiant spirit. Although Vermax represents Felangie, I wish you the best of luck, Carl Wheezer of Earth. Good day."

"Yes, it is," Carl managed to get out as Princess Leama departed. "What a nice princess," he said aloud after she had gone.

"Yeah, what a nice princess." Sheen scowled and shook his head. "Ya got a ticker problem, kid."

Carl looked at his watch. "I do? Maybe there's a watch repair shop around here somewhere."

"No, Carl, I mean your head is on the princess and not on the fight. That's a sure recipe for disaster. You've got to stop thinking about her until after the fight is over."

Carl looked dubious. "I don't know if I can."

"Well, you better." Sheen leaned forward and said, "Just remember, women weaken legs."

"They do?" Carl blinked in confusion. "How?"

"I'm not sure," Sheen replied thoughtfully. "Maybe it's because they kick you in the shins a lot, like Libby does to me." He spread his hands in frustrated confusion. "I mean, just try complimenting that girl on shaking her bodacious booty."

"Doesn't 'bodacious' mean 'big'?"

"It can."

"Well," Carl said reasonably, "maybe girls don't like people telling them that they have a big booty."

Sheen thought about it. "Good point. I hadn't thought of that."

"How's it going, guys?" a familiar voice said.

Sheen and Carl turned to see Cindy and Libby entering the training area. "Not too bad, Libby. All done shopping?"

Libby nodded emphatically. "You got that right. I think I'm spoiled for life now." She suddenly winced and sat down, rubbing sneakered foot. "I think I may be ruined for life, too. I feel like I've walked twenty miles today."

"Me too," agreed Cindy.

"Oh, that's no problem," said. Carl. "Jimmy made some stuff to put on our shoes. It makes walking and standing a lot easier. Sheen and I already put some on our shoes."

Cindy sighed. "If figures that brainiac would do something like that, but since your shoes haven't dissolved it sounds like a plan to me. Where is Neutron?"

Sheen shrugged. "I dunno. He had to leave for a while, but he said he'd be back soon."

"Well, where did he go?" Libby wanted to know.

Sheen shrugged again. "He didn't say. But he'll be back pretty soon."

Cindy had a feeling that something was wrong. As a newcomer on the Felangie she couldn't imagine anything that would compel Jimmy to leave Carl without saying anything, especially when Jimmy had traveled 30 light-years to reach him. "How long has he been gone?"

"Well, he left about half an hour after you did, so…"

"Then he's been gone for over three hours." Cindy looked worried and shook her head. "It doesn't make sense that he'd leave without saying anything. And if he's not back yet something must be wrong."

"Hey, don't sweat it," Sheen assured her. "I mean, we're all royal guests here. Messing with Jimmy is like messing with the princess. Who in their right might would try that?"

Cindy's eyes narrowed in growing suspicion as they others looked on. "Exactly. Who? And more importantly, why?"

End of Part 12.

Author's Notes:

A question arose as to the meaning of the ending of the last chapter when it stated that Jimmy was "wrong on both counts". Basically it was referring to his assumptions about Carl being safe and him being back soon, although I expect this chapter has filled in a few pieces about that.

As most readers will have guessed by now the story will be going on for a while longer than my previous stories. Part of this is because some readers have requested longer stories and there are some parts of this story that can't be rushed. In compensation for the longer story I'm doing what I can to put out new chapters are quickly as possible while keeping the chapter lengths fairly reasonable.


	14. Part 13 Cindy Vortex, Girl Detective

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 13:

Libby regarding Cindy speculatively. "Who would mess with Jimmy and why? It sounds to me like you have some idea what the answers might be."

"Possibly," Cindy replied, but her thoughts were elsewhere. "At least, I think I know the 'who' but not the 'why'."

"Okay, so spill. Who's the 'who'?" asked Libby.

Cindy gave herself a minute to organize the facts in her mind before answering. "That Minister Khormak person."

"That's crazy," said Sheen. "He's the one who brought Carl here. He even sent that robot to help us prepare Carl for the fight. What would he want with Jimmy?"

Cindy shook her head. "That's the part I don't know. But look at the facts. As soon as we got here a couple natives ignore us but go for Jimmy, and they were working for Minister Khormak. And at lunch Princess Leama mentioned that there were people trying to oppose her new policies. I'm pretty sure that she started to say 'Minister Khormak' but she caught herself in time and said something else."

"Yeah, I remember that," Libby said, nodding.

"One more thing. Carl and Sheen, what happened right before Jimmy left?"

"Well," mused Sheen, thinking back, "I was trying to get Jimmy to explain why 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the same thing when that robot showed up and asked to speak to Jimmy in private. And then Jimmy said he'd be back soon and they both left."

Cindy leaned forward. "That same robot that was supposed to help you train Carl?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"The same robot," Cindy continued, her voice reflecting her growing conviction, "that Minister Khormak sent?"

"Yeah," answered Carl. "That robot was nice. Did you know that there are fifty-three –"

"That settles it," Cindy interrupted. "I don't know the connection with Carl, but I'm sure that Minister Khormak is behind Jimmy's disappearance."

"Hey, wait a minute," said Libby. "I'm just as worried as you are about Jimmy, but we can't really say he's disappeared. He's only been gone a few hours."

"Still –" Cindy tried to argue.

Libby assumed her most reasonable and persuasive tone. "Look, let's wait until morning. If he hasn't shown up by then we'll know there's something wrong for sure and can officially have people start looking."

Cindy looked worried. "Morning may be too late."

"Really?" asked Sheen. "I thought morning was always early. That's why they call it morning." Catching Cindy's glare he added, "Oh, right. Alien planet. Different rules." He shrugged. "Go figure."

Before Cindy could strangle Sheen Libby put in, "I said 'officially', Cindy. Unofficially we can snoop around ourselves and see what's going down around here. We could start by asking that robot a few questions. And I'm sure Princess Leama wouldn't mind having some of her guards look into this. She's pretty smart."

"Yes," Cindy agreed thoughtfully. "Smart enough to not let people know what she knows."

"What?" asked Libby.

Cindy shook her head. "I'll tell you later. Let's get started. And remember, this could be dangerous."

"What should we do?" asked Carl.

Now that the ball was rolling Cindy was quick to take charge. "You stay here and keep training for the fight. If anyone is watching us it may keep them off-guard."

Carl looked at the exercise equipment as though it were a horde of venomous creatures. "Can't Sheen and I do some of that dangerous stuff with you instead?" he pleaded.

"No," Cindy called back over her shoulder as she and Libby departed. "Just act as though nothing has happened. We'll be back soon or call to let you know what's going on."

"Well, kid," Sheen said gruffly after the girls had gone, "it's back to the grind. Now, I want you to –" He broke off suddenly. "Where's that meat I had brought in?"

"Oh, that." Carl smiled, rubbing his stomach. "It was delicious."

"Carl, you were suppose to punch the meat, not eat it! It was the raw eggs you were supposed to eat!"

Carl dug a foot into the mat covering the floor. "Yeah, well, I would have, but…"

"But what?" Sheen demanded when Carl's voice trailed away into silence.

Carl gingerly picked up a small green sphere, dripping with viscous ooze, from a shallow bowl on a sidetable. "The servants wouldn't tell me what laid them," he concluded in a subdued whisper.

Outside in the hall Cindy and Libby trudged towards the main hall, looking for one of the household servants. As they walked Libby asked, "Okay, Cindy. What did you mean about the princess being smart enough to…to…uh…"

"…not let people know what she knows," Cindy finished.

"Right. What was that all about?"

"Maybe nothing. But think about it. When we first got here and those goons starting manhandling Jimmy, Princess Leama showed up just in the nick of time."

Libby didn't get the point. "So?"

Cindy sighed. "She said that she hadn't been officially informed of our arrival. So how did she know?"

"Gossip, maybe."

"From who? Khormak was the one who contacted Jimmy and I doubt he'd fill her in on his plans, whatever they are. And I doubt he'd slip the information to anyone he didn't trust." She frowned. "And did you notice? When she first showed up to meet us there were four guards with her, but all day today when we were shopping and having lunch there wasn't a guard in sight."

"She might have – what do you call them – undercover guards keeping an eye on her," Libby pointed out. "The President of the United States has Secret Service men around him all the time, but they aren't all out in the open."

"So why did she have the four obvious guards there when she met us at the spaceport?"

Libby shrugged. "You tell me."

"Okay, I will," Cindy replied. "They weren't there to protect the princess. They were there to deal with some trouble she was expecting. I'll bet she knew exactly what was going to happen before we even got to Felangie, but she's not letting on about it. What's more, I'll bet she knows a lot more about this thing with Carl and the fight and Khormak, but she's just waiting for the right moment to use what she knows."

"Yeah, but if she's that smart and knows that much, why doesn't she just arrest Khormak or banish him or whatever royalty does with upstarts like him?"

"There's an old saying, Libby. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. As long as she can keep an eye on Khormak she can counter whatever he's cooking up. And as long as he thinks he has the upper hand she's the one who's really in control." A note of admiration crept into Cindy's voice. "Like you said, Libby, she's smart. Smart enough to not let people know just how smart."

Libby thought about it and had to admit what Cindy said made a lot of sense_. The princess isn't the only one with brains_, she thought_. This blonde's got smarts she hasn't even used._

After a few minutes of searching they finally located one of the house servants. Although she was not able to help them in their search for the robot she was able to conduct them to the Palace Head of Staff who was more informed, if not much more helpful.

"I'm terrible sorry, Miss," he said politely. "I'm aware of the robot to which you refer, but it is not at the palace at this time. It seems that Master Wheezer had no immediate need for assistance so it took its leave."

"Do you know where it went?" asked Libby.

"I believe," the Head of Staff replied slowly, "that it is currently assigned to Minister Khormak. It may have returned to him."

"Do you know where might we find Minister Khormak?" Cindy pressed.

The Head of Staff was on firmer ground now. "Certainly, Miss. That's common enough knowledge. His offices are at the Government Building. If you wish, I can put a call through to him for you."

Cindy thought about that. A phone call would reveal nothing, as Khormak would undoubtedly deny everything. It would probably even make things worse as inquiries alert him to their suspicions and put him on the alert. A more direct yet subtle approach would be needed.

"No, thank you," she said. "But could you direct us to the Government Building?"

"Certainly, Miss. If you wish, one of the chauffeurs can take you. It's not far and the princess makes the trip herself quite frequently so all the staff know the quickest routes." He pulled a communication handset of some sort from inside his spotless jacket and issued orders to have one of the hovercraft brought around to the front of the palace in three chronals (whatever those might have been). Several minutes later Cindy and Libby were seated in the vehicle speeding through the streets of the Felangian capital.

"What's your plan, Cindy?" Libby asked, rubbing her tired feet.

"In general terms, find out what the bad guy is up to, find Jimmy, and get out in one piece," Cindy replied matter-of-factly. In a less certain tone she added, "But I'm afraid the details are still a little fuzzy at this point."

"So we we're just walking into a dangerous situation without a plan?" Libby's voice sounded noticeably stressed.

"Libby," Cindy answered quietly, "we're not walking into a dangerous situation. We've been in one since we first got here."

End of Part 13


	15. Part 14 The Itch is Back

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 15:

It was only a five-minute drive to the Government Building and Cindy and Libby spent every second of it racking their brains in silence for a plan. It was Cindy who spoke first. "You know, even if we find Jimmy there's still the question of what's going on with Carl we have to figure out."

"Yeah, poor Carl," agreed Libby absently. "Why anyone would want to pick someone with his asthma and allergies to fight in a…" Her voice trailed off as she stared blankly into space. "Allergies," she repeated slowly. "That's it. Allergies!"

That threw Cindy. "What?"

"Allergies! That's how we'll do it!"

"Is this thin air getting to you?" Cindy asked, giving her friend a worried look.

"No. I was just thinking about Carl and his allergies," explained Libby.

"Oh. Right. That certainly clears things up."

"No, listen up. You know what doctors do to find out if you're allergic to something?"

"I should," Cindy replied, rolling her eyes. "Carl's told us only about a hundred times. They do a scratch test."

"Exactly," Libby agreed. "They take a needle with a test substance on it and poke you. If nothing's wrong, nothing happens. But if something _is_ wrong…"

"…there's a reaction." Cindy was catching on. "So what we need to do is needle Minister Khormak a little."

Libby ignored the pun. "Right. If everything's straight up nothing happens, no harm, no foul. But if something is off-center like we figured, he might tip his hand."

Cindy considered it. "That's brilliant, Libs. Now we just need to figure out what will itch him enough to scratch." She rolled ideas over in her mind as she looked about the inside of the hovercraft for inspiration. It came to her as her eyes fell on Libby's cell phone. "Libby! I've got it! Give me your cell phone!"

Libby handed it over, puzzled. "My cell phone? It won't work out here. There's no cell network on this planet."

"I know that," Cindy answered as she punched buttons on the device. "And you know that. But I'm betting that Minister Khormak won't know that." She finished pushing buttons, surveyed her handiwork with satisfaction, and clipped the phone to her waistband. "Now, when we're speaking with Minister Khormak, play along with whatever I say."

Libby shrugged. "Whatever you say."

By this time the hovercraft had halted in front of the large structure housing many of the official government agencies and offices of Felangie. As the girls exited the vehicle the chauffeur asked, "Did you wish me to remain, Miss?"

"Yes," Cindy answered. "We won't be long."

"Very good, Miss," the chauffeur replied as the girls walked away. As soon was they had vanished inside building he reached under the dashboard, withdrew a small communications handset, and activated it. "Mobile One to Base. Both subjects have entered the Government Building."

"Status?" a voice answered.

"The subjects appear to be on a scent and acting on it."

There was a pause. "Do you require assistance?"

"Negative at this time, but request additional instructions."

"Maintain surveillance only and report on any new developments. Take no action without direct orders," the voice said.

"Affirmative." The connection went dead and the driver replaced the handset in its concealed cradle, waiting for the girls to return.

Inside the building the girls had no difficulty locating the office of Minister Khormak, although it took a few minutes to convince the receptionist there that they had business with the Minister of War of Felangie. Finally, convinced that they were in fact off-worlders and associated with the upcoming exhibition match with the planetary champion, he pressed the switch to activate the communicator in the Minister's office.

"Yes? What is it?" a gruff voice asked.

"I'm very sorry to disturb you, Minister," the receptionist said, "but there are two humans here who wish to meet with you."

"Humans? Did they say what they wanted?"

"They wished to personally thank you for inviting them to Felangie."

There was a short silence and Cindy held her breath. If the Minister refused them an audience her plan would be useless. "Send them in," the voice finally said, and the receptionist nodded to Cindy and Libby

"You may go in. But be brief. The Minister is a very busy official with many duties."

__

Here goes nothing, Cindy thought as she surreptitiously pressed a button on Libby's cell phone. Once through the outer doors and in Minister Khormak's spacious office she switched on a sunny smile. "Minister Khormak," she purred, extended a hand. "I'm Cindy Vortex, and this is my friend Libby Folfax. It's so very nice to meet you."

Khormak took the proffered hand somewhat stiffly and bowed. "The pleasure is mine, I'm sure," he replied.

"Charmed," said Libby as Khormak shook her hand.

"We truly appreciate your taking the time to meet with us," Cindy went on. "As the most important government minister on Felangie I know how busy you are."

Minister Khormak allowed himself a smile. "One of my many duties is that of an official planetary representative. Despite common opinion the Ministry of War is as much concerned with averting wars as conducting them."

"Yes, I was sure of that, but it is so good to hear you affirm that. Ministry of War sounds so…well, ominous, albeit rather fascinating."

The Minister looked pleasantly surprised. "Do you think so?"

"Oh, yes," Cindy gushed, still smiling like an oblivious idiot. "I'm sure that if you had time there would be hundreds of fascinating war stories you could tell. But my friend Libby and I just wanted to stop in personally to thank you for inviting us to Felangie. We wanted Jimmy to come as well, but we couldn't find him." At the name the Minister stiffened slightly but he continued smiling. "It's just like him to wander off and –" At that moment a musical tone came from the phone at Cindy's waist. "Oh, excuse me while I get this." She retrieved the device, studied it, and shrugged as she pushed a button. "Well, that's odd. It looks like Jimmy's phone just tried to auto-return my earlier call, but I lost the signal. Oh, well." She replaced the cell phone and smiled at Khormak.

"He'll probably call back," commented Libby, who felt she had to say something.

"Yes, probably," Cindy agreed. "As I was saying, Minister Khormak, I'm sure your military record must be fascinating."

"Well," Khormak replied in a somewhat distracted tone, "I have had a rather colorful career. I originally enrolled in the Felangian Space Corps as a recruit but had the good fortune to qualify for and attend the Star Academy. I eventually worked my way up as an officer to lead one of our crack brigades."

"Fascinating," Cindy said breathlessly. "Have you ever considered writing a book on your career?"

Khormak smiled again, more broadly this time. "Well, I have toyed with the idea, but with all my duties finding the time is just impossible at the moment."

Cindy nodded sympathetically. "I understand. Still, you should find the time. You can never tell –" The phone signaled again and Cindy frowned as she studied it once more. "This is so peculiar. Jimmy's phone must be very close for this to keep going off, but I can't seem to keep locked on to the signal. Maybe my batteries are going dead." She pressed a button and replaced the phone again.

Khormak was still smiling but it hung on his face like a bad mask. "Perhaps."

"I'll bet he's somewhere in the neighborhood poking around in this and that like he always does. Once I recharge my phone and come back here I should be able to stay locked in on him and find out where he is."

"I'm sure you will," Khormak said civilly, but both Cindy and Libby sensed a certain amount of tenseness in his demeanor. "It's been quite pleasant speaking with you, but I really have a great deal to do. If you'll excuse me, Miss Vortex?"

"Of course, of course. Thanks so much for your time. I hope we can get together socially some time," Cindy smiled as Khormak ushered them to the doors.

"I know I can't wait," added Libby.

"Yes, some time, perhaps," Khormak agreed, closing the door. "Good day." Once the doors were closed he locked them from the inside, rushed to the communicator, and closed the switch to a private line. "Skeets! Rocco!" he snapped. "Get in here at once!"

Outside the building Cindy and Libby climbed back into the hovercraft as Cindy silently thanked her mother for all the social gatherings she had had to endure. "Do you think it worked?" asked Libby.

"I don't know," answered Cindy. "But I'm more sure than ever that Khormak is messed up in Jimmy's disappearance even if we didn't see that robot." She removed the cell phone from her waistband and handed it back to Libby. "You'd better clear that appointment reminder. Otherwise it will keep going off every minute or so."

As Libby complied the chauffeur asked, "Where to now, Miss?"

"Just pull around the back and park in an unobtrusive place," Cindy instructed him. "If he's going to try anything he won't be doing it out the front door," she explained to Libby. "If he's anything like an Earth hood he'll be using a service entrance."

"Very good, Miss," the chauffeur said as he eased the vehicle around the back. He was able to find an open space large enough for the hovercraft behind some small bushes and skillfully parked the vehicle so that they could observe the entire back of the Government Building.

They had been waiting about twenty minutes when Libby suddenly stiffened and pointed. "It looks like Khormak is starting to itch!" she hissed excitedly, pointing at two figures who were exiting the structure some distance away. "Look familiar?"

Cindy leaned forward and peered at the shapes and nodded. Although they were nearly a hundred yards away she recognized them immediately. "Those are the goons that jumped Jimmy when we first arrived," she said. "What's that they're putting in that vehicle?"

"It looks like a box," Libby replied. "Or a packing crate. Do you think that Jimmy…?"

"I'm sure of it," Cindy answered grimly as the distant hovercraft began moving away. "Okay, let's follow them," she told the driver.

"Very good, Miss," the chauffeur said as his craft smoothly pulled out and sped after the suspects. When he came within two blocks of the hovercraft they were following he slowed down.

"What's wrong?" Libby asked.

"Nothing, Miss," the driver replied. "But may I suggest that we maintain a discreet distance to avoid alarming the occupants of the other vehicle?"

"Good idea," admitted Cindy. "I should have thought of that myself."

After several minutes of the careful pursuit Libby said, "Hey, Cindy, does this place look familiar to you?"

Cindy looked around curiously. "Not particularly. Why?"

"Because it does to me. If I didn't know better, I'd say we were headed for the spaceport."

"Indeed we are, Miss," the chauffeur agreed.

"Why would they go to the spaceport?" Cindy wondered aloud.

Libby slapped her forehead. "Of course! It make sense now!"

"What does?"

"The packing case! If Jimmy is in it, they're probably shipping him off-planet! If they do that we may never find him again!"

Cindy leaned forward. "Okay, there's no point in discretion any more. Step on it! We have to catch that crate!"

"As you say, Miss," the driver replied as he gunned the thrusters. They shot forward and began closing on their quarry, but as they neared the spaceport the chauffeur maneuvered the hovercraft into a different lane from the one used by the other vehicle. "I'm afraid we can't go through on the other lane," the chauffeur explained before Cindy or Libby could ask for an explanation. "Only commercial vehicles are permitted into the spaceport that way."

Cindy gritted her teeth. "Then we'll have to hurry. There's no telling where they may be headed."

The driver complied and after what seemed an interminable time pulled up in front of a cluster of buildings. Libby and Cindy leaped out, yelling to the driver to stay where he was and raced through what seemed to be the main entrance. Inside they found a number of desks similar to the check-in counters of an Earth airport and approached one that appeared to be open.

"May I help you?" the Felangian clerk behind the counter asked helpfully.

"Yes," Cindy gasped, breathless from the short run in the thin air. "Someone just came to this spaceport with a large packing crate. Do you know how we can find what the first possible flight out today would be?"

The clerk consulted a viewscreen and tapped a number of keys before shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but there are no commercial flights out today."

Cindy stared. "None? Are you sure?"

"Quite sure."

As Cindy pondered this Libby spoke up. "What about non-commercial flights? Do they have any of those out of here?"

"From time to time. One moment." The clerk entered a number of queries into her terminal and finally spoke. "There was a last minute flight entered into the system by an independent starline in Terminal 4 and it's scheduled for departure almost immediately." As she finished speaking there came a faint shudder that slowly died away. "Make that immediately," she corrected.

"You mean it's left?" Cindy asked helplessly.

"Yes. The screen confirms liftoff and preparation for entry into departure orbit."

"You've got to call it back!" Libby cried desperately. "There's something very important on it that we have to get back!"

"I'm afraid that's impossible," the clerk replied in a professional tone. "Once the ship has lifted off deviation from flight plan is not allowed. There is too great a chance for collision." Seeing their faces she continued, "But if you need to retrieve something you can contact the destination port and request the planetary officials to send it back on the return flight."

Cindy and Libby looked at each other. "I guess we'll have to do that," Cindy finally said. "Could you tell us where the ship is headed?"

"Certainly." The helpful clerk studied her screen, but her next words made Cindy's and Libby's blood run cold. "The ship is headed for Yolkus."

End of Part 15


	16. Part 15 Where to Turn?

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 15:

"Yolkus?" Libby asked, stunned. "Why would they send Jimmy all the way to Yolkus?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Cindy replied. "After what Jimmy's done, King Goobot would give a lot to get his hands on him. I'll be Khormak cut some kind of deal with him in exchange for Jimmy." She shook her head. "If Jimmy arrives on Yolkus he's done for. We've got to catch that ship!" She turned and ran for the door with Libby in close pursuit.

"Cindy, hold on!" Libby called. "Where are you going?"

"To Jimmy's space bus!" Cindy called back, somewhat breathlessly. The thin air definitely presented problems with any appreciable amount of exertion. "It's our only chance!"

Libby caught up with Cindy and grabbed her arm, dragging her to a halt. "Cindy, no! That won't work."

Cindy turned on her friend, unreasoning anger crossing her face. "What do you mean? Why won't it work?"

Libby again assumed the role of the objective observer. "Three reasons. First, we don't know how to drive. Second, even if we did know how to drive we wouldn't know how to drive that thing. And third, I doubt seriously that Jimmy has a star map to Yolkus in the glove box."

"But –" Cindy tried to come up with reasonable rebuttals to Libby's objections and failed. Libby was right and she knew it. But they had to do _something_. If they didn't Jimmy would be in the clutches of the Yolkians in a few hours, and if _that_ happened…. "What do you suggest?" she finally asked.

Libby's answer was sensible enough. "I think," she said, "that we should tell Princess Leama and ask her to handle it."

Cindy considered it. On the face of it Libby's suggestion seemed the most logical course of action but Cindy shook her head. "I don't think we should."

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't quite trust her. Not about this."

This took Libby aback. "What?"

"I don't know that I can really explain it," Cindy said painfully, "but I get the feeling that she's playing been us to get to Khormak. I think that stopping Khormak from sending Jimmy to Goobot would go against her plans and she's undoubtedly being careful not to let anything mess them up."

"You really think so?"

Cindy nodded. "I'm almost positive. I mean, take that chauffeur we were assigned."

"He seems nice and helpful enough."

"Yes, very, like when we pulled in back of that building to keep on eye out for what Khormak might try to do. He was pretty good at picking out the best place to do that, almost like he was an expert on surveillance. And remember when we were chasing after those two goons that he was the one who suggested that we hold back to avoid being spotted?"

Libby thought about it. "Yeah, I remember. But you said it was a good idea. You even said you that you should have thought about that."

"It was a good idea," Cindy agreed. "And I wish I had thought of it. But it seems odd that he would think of that so easily – unless he was trained for that sort of thing. Remember when you said that maybe the princess had undercover agents to watch out for her? I'm almost certain that he's one of them."

"Okay, maybe he is. So? Maybe he's been assigned to keep us out of trouble."

Cindy gave Libby a thoughtful look. "Out of trouble? Or out of the way? If he were a trained agent he should have had no problems calling in reinforcements or catching those two before they reached the spaceport." Cindy paused for effect. "Unless someone didn't want them stopped."

Libby nodded slowly as the pieces began fitting together. "It was rather convenient that he had to pull into another lane and lose them just as we reached the spaceport." Buy an alternate explanation struck her. "Wait a minute. Maybe he isn't working for the princess. Maybe he's a double agent working for Minister Khormak."

"If Khormak has people that close to the princess then we couldn't be sure that asking her for help on this would do any good because they might foil anything she tried to do. It might even force Khormak's hand and ruin everything for the princess for good." She shook her head again. "Either way I don't think that asking her for help on this would do much good."

"Then what?" Libby wanted to know. "We can't just give up on Jimmy. He's our friend. What do we do?"

Cindy didn't answer. They were light-years from home and help from anyone there. She wished that Goddard had come along, but he had been needed to maintain the subliminal transceivers Jimmy had set up back on Earth and even if she could contact him she doubted that he'd have any way of getting to Felangie. _What do we do?_ she asked herself numbly. Her eyes wandered around the inside of the spaceport terminal, passing over what appeared to be vending machines, luggage lockers, and communications booths. As she stared at the booths their images slowly began to register to her, and as they did so the beginnings of an idea took shape in her mind. "What do we do?" she said softly. "We reach out and touch someone."

"What?" asked Libby, startled.

Cindy didn't answer. She walked into one of the booths and activated it, pressing various unfamiliar buttons until a faceless voice asked, "Comlink assistance."

"Hello," Cindy said. "I'd like to place a collect call to another planet." She wasn't sure if such a concept existed in this part of the galaxy but she had to try it. She had no local money and doubted that her wireless calling card would be honored here.

"Name of caller, please."

"Cindy Vortex, of Earth. And could you please hurry? This is an emergency."

Back at the palace Carl and Sheen continued to prepare for the fight scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Carl had steadfastly refused to try any of the eggs in the bowl despite Sheen's insistings.

"Come one, Carl, just try one. If you don't like it you can spit it back out."

Carl shook his head. "Uh-uh, no way. I still don't know what laid them. Or what that stuff on them is."

"Oh, that stuff? That's just the jelly from the egg-mass from when they eggs were laid."  
"I didn't know that birds made jelly," Carl said, both bewildered and fascinated.

"Up until a few years ago you didn't even know that birds made eggs."

"That's true," Carl replied, subdued. "So birds make jelly and eggs?"

"Well, actually, birds don't. But other things do. You know, like frogs and fish and insects and –" Seeing Carl's horrified look Sheen hastened to add, "You know, like caviar. Caviar is just fish eggs. It's considered a great delicacy. Think of this as caviar." He looked at the bowl, his voice faltering as it lost some of its conviction. "Just a big bowl of large…green…slimy…caviar."

"I don't eat caviar. There's too much salt and I'm extremely allergic to salt. Besides, these eggs smell funny."

Sheen shook his head in bewilderment. "You know, for someone who ate a whole plate of Plutonian gut chunks you're awful particular."

"Not going to eat them," Carl re-iterated stubbornly in a sing-song voice.

"Okay, fine," Sheen capitulated. "Deny your body the protein and nutritive slime it so desperately needs for the upcoming fight. Now, we need to work on the problems with your speed."

"What are the problems with my speed?" Carl asked.

"Well, the first problem is that you don't have any." Sheen paced back and forth thinking out loud. "In the old days we used to train by chasing chickens. But unfortunately there aren't any here. That raises a problem."

"Well, how about using whatever laid the eggs?" was Carl's helpful suggestion.

Sheen shook his head. "As hard as it may be to believe it's actually slower than you are. And cleaning up the trails on the floor and walls could be a problem." Ignoring Carl's bewildered look Sheen went on, "No, we need to find some other way of putting some lightning in those lethargic little legs of yours."

Carl was beginning to figure it out. "Sheen, are you saying that those eggs were laid by –"

"Will you forget the eggs?" Sheen demanded. "We need to work on your speed, remember?"

Carl backed away from the bowl of eggs in revulsion. "Eww," was all he could say.

Sheen gave a grunt of disgust. "Carl, will you let it go? We need to…" His words faded away as a thought came to him. He slowly picked up the bowl of eggs and hefted one as he grinned wickedly at Carl.

Carl back away, not liking the direction things were taking. "Sheen? What are you doing with those eggs?" he asked nervously.

"Run, chicken boy!" Sheen cried as he lobbed one of the spheres at Carl. The egg sailed past Carl's head as he screamed and began running. Sheen continued to huck the eggs at Carl as he frantically dodged and dashed madly about the room to avoid being hit by the gooey missiles.

"Sheen, cut it out!" Carl wailed. "I don't like this very much!"

"You're doing great, Carl! Keep it up!" Sheen called in an encouraging voice as he took careful aim and missed Carly by only a few inches. "Only a few more dozen to go!"

End of Part 15


	17. Part 16 Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner...

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 16:

Cindy completed the call and left the booth to rejoin Libby. She was not surprised to find the chauffeur waiting with Libby for her. Libby shrugged, subtly signaling that she had not summoned him and had no idea what had prompted him to come inside. Seeing the expressions on their faces the chauffeur hastened to explain his presence.

"You were in here for a considerable amount of time, Miss. I was beginning to worry. I am responsible for your welfare. Her Highness would be most irate if anything were to happen to either of you."

__

I'll bet, thought Cindy. But all she said was, "Of course."

"Will either of you be needing transport anywhere else, Miss?"

Cindy thought about it. She had done everything in her power to help Jimmy, and that situation was now completely out of her hands. With Jimmy gone it seemed that helping Carl was all she could do until he was back. "I don't think so. I suppose we should be returning to the palace. I expect that it's almost suppertime."

"Indeed yes, Miss. I expect you're both famished." He half-turned and gestured with an open hand towards the door. "Shall we go? I understand that Her Highness has requested a special Earth repast in honor of your visit."

"Great," said Cindy listlessly as she and Libby trudged towards the exit. "I can hardly wait."

The ride back to the palace was made in silence. Cindy had a lot to think about and Libby could tell from discreet signs that Cindy wasn't ready to discuss them with her. She also had to remind herself of what Cindy had said regarding the driver and the princess. While it was still difficult for her to believe that their hosts had any sinister intentions it made sense not to divulge too much until they knew for sure. Upon returning to the palace the girls were each met by a personal servant who escorted them to their rooms, helped them freshen up, assisted them in donning fashionable dinner attire, and escorted them to the spacious dining room. The Carl and Sheen were already there in what was apparently the Felangian equivalent of a dinner jacket and tie.

"Won't the princess be dining this evening?" Libby asked the butler standing beside her chair. There were several other butlers around the table, standing slightly behind and to the side of each occupied chair. In addition there was one more standing next to the chair at the head of the table.

"Certainly, Miss," the butler replied patiently. "But it would never do for Her Highness to wait for the guests to arrive. It is customary for the guests to arrive first and for them to await Her Highness."

__

Makes sense, thought Libby. _It's good to be the king…or princess. _"Is there anything I should do when she arrives? Curtsy or something?"

"Simply stand when she enters the room, and resume your seat when she takes hers and bids you to be seated."

After a few minutes the princess arrived and took her place at the head of the table, the guests standing and sitting as the butler had advised Libby to. Apparently Sheen and Carl had been briefed as well, as they performed the required courtesies without any prompting. Cindy was somewhat accustomed the ritual, as she had on occasion been called upon to perform them at her mother's fanciest dinner parties. Despite the long day and their worries about Jimmy both Libby and Cindy found that they were famished and were curious as to the Earth cuisine they would be served. The meal began with a hot vegetable soup, followed by a cool, crisp salad, and then by several other unfamiliar but tasty courses. When the main course was brought in they were prepared for just about anything, from fresh lobster with drawn butter to crowned rack of lamb, but when the ornate covers were removed from the silver platters it took them a moment to respond.

"Hot dogs and rolls?" Libby finally asked, staring at her plate.

"Yes," the princess replied proudly. "I understand that it is quite a popular dish on your planet."

"Oh…yes," Cindy answered, recovering from her surprise. "It is."

The princess beamed. "And if I am correct, it is suitable for vegetarians such as yourselves. I have heard from reliable sources that they do not put real meat in hot dogs."

Libby stalled, trying to think of something to say. "Well…I've heard something like that, too," she finally answered.

"Excellent. I hope that the dish is prepared to your satisfaction." The princess picked up a knife and fork and began slicing off bite-sized portions of hot dog and bun. After carefully chewing and swallowing the first portion she announced, "It is quite tasty. Perhaps I shall have this at all my formal receptions."

"Certainly, if it pleases Your Highness," commented Cindy trying to keep a straight face. "Well, this is a first. I've never eaten a hot dog with silverware before," she whispered to Libby.

"I just hope they didn't take 'hot dog' literally when they made these," Libby whispered back.

"So, Carl, how is your training going?" Princess Leama asked, playing the part of attentive host.

"Oh, hey, great," Carl replied enthusiastically. "I was getting totally ripped today."

"Actually, Carl, 'getting ripped' means something besides tearing your sweatpants," Sheen explained.

"Oh. Okay," Carl answered, looking crestfallen.

"The Captain of the Guard informs me that you have a most unusual training style," the princess continued, attempting to keep the conversation going. "He says that you should prove a most formidable and challenging adversary for Vermax."

Carl brightened at that. "Well, I'll sure try," he said. "One of the guards promised to show me the way I'm supposed to fight in the competition."

The princess nodded. "I'm pleased to hear that. No doubt our combat styles and methods are unfamiliar to you. Several of the Royal Guards have some experience in competitions and I asked that they provide whatever assistance they could."

"Well, I sure appreciate that," said Carl.

"So do I," agreed Sheen. "I mean, Carl is pretty good at dodging eggs but he definitely needs help with smashing pumpkins."

This surprised Libby. "You have him listening to rock music?"

"No, he had me breaking melons with my head," Carl answered.

"Why?" Cindy asked.

Sheen looked disgusted. "Because he was too chicken to try breaking the cinder blocks. He wouldn't even break the pumpkins until I let him carve them into jack o'lanterns first."

"Why are you having Carl break pumpkins with his head?" Libby wanted to know.

"I figure he's going to take some head shots," Sheen explained. "This should toughen him up."

"Or give him a concussion, put him in the hospital, and have him forfeit the fight," Cindy argued.

Sheen looked guilty. "Yeah, well, that was Plan B," he said.

The princess had been looking from one to the other during this exchange. "Most interesting," was all she could say.

"Wait a minute," Libby suddenly said. "Where did you get the pumpkins?"

"Oh, those," answered Sheen. "I got them from the kitchen."

"Yes," the Princess Leama said. "I requested that the head baker prepare a traditional Earth dessert. He selected pumpkin pie and there were plenty left over for Sheen and Carl to use. I hope you will enjoy it."

"I love pumpkin pie," said Libby.

"So do I," agreed Cindy.

"I'm all for it," enthused Sheen.

"Bring it on," added Carl, rubbing his hands.

With that the dinner plates were cleared away and the dessert brought in. It was pumpkin pie, although not the pumpkin pie the humans were accustomed to eating. Rather than turning the pumpkins into a custard filling the head baker had simply diced them, added some spices, and baked them in a pie shell much the way most fruit pies are made.

"On, second thought, I guess I should watch those carbs," said Libby in a queasy voice.

"Too much of a good thing really isn't a good thing," Cindy offered weakly.

"And I just remembered that I'm allergic to Hallowe'en," added Sheen.

"Bring it on," repeated Carl, stuffing forkfuls of the dessert into his mouth. "Wow, this is even better than those gut chunks," he mumbled, his mouth full. He held out a forkful of pie to the others. "Don't you guys want any?" When Sheen, Cindy, and Libby only gave him incredulous stares he simply shrugged and continued his voracious assault on the pie. The princess didn't seem at all disturbed or offended.

"He certainly has the appetite of an athlete," was all she said as she daintily finished her slice of pie.

Following dinner the four young people took their leave of Princess Leama and retired to their quarters for the evening. After a few minutes Cindy called them together for a meeting in her room. She knew that they were taking a chance as any or all of their rooms might be bugged, but she knew that they had to take that risk.

"What's up, Cindy?" asked Sheen. "They were having a really cool science fiction movie on TV. Or maybe it was another nature documentary. It's hard to tell when you're on another planet."

"Don't tell me that you're still suspicious," said Libby.

"You bet I am," said Cindy quietly. "And keep your voices down."

"Suspicious of what?" whispered Sheen.

"Cindy thinks that maybe the princess isn't being totally straight with us," Libby answered _soto voce_.

"But she seems nice," objected Carl. "I think that maybe she even likes me." He sighed loudly. "Did you notice her name is almost like 'llama'?"

"Keep it down!" hissed Cindy. "Listen, did you notice that not once did she ask about where Jimmy was?'

Sheen considered this. "Well, maybe she figured he was out sightseeing or something."

"Then why wasn't there a setting laid out for him?" Cindy pointed out.

The others thought back, trying to remember if there had been an unused place setting or not. "Wasn't there?" Libby finally asked.

"No, there wasn't," Cindy said firmly. "And for a planet that's supposedly so unfamiliar with Earth, how does she know so much about the foods we eat? And getting the ingredients for them?"

"Actually, I wouldn't call that dessert food that we eat," commented Libby.

"I would," said Carl, licking his fingers.

"That's beside the point. You probably remember that she said something about 'reliable sources'. Something is going on here, and I'm certain that Princess Leama or someone in this place definitely knew that Jimmy wasn't going to be around for dinner."

"You think maybe she had something to do with his disappearance earlier?" asked Libby.

Cindy shook her head. "I don't know. But I'm sure she knows about it. She may even have known it would happen."

Carl looked worried. "Do you know where Jimmy is?"

"Halfway to Yolkus by now, unless…" Cindy's voice faded away.

"Unless what?" asked Sheen.

"Yeah, Cindy. Unless what? You never said who you called or what came of that," Libby added. "It sounded then like you had a plan."

Cindy shook her head. "I can't tell you."

"Because someone might be listening?" asked Carl.

"Well, that," Cindy answered slowly. "And because I don't know myself how it will work out." She let out a long slow breath, her normally clear green eyes clouded with worry. "All we can do is hope for the best."

End of Part 16


	18. Part 17 Training Day

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 17:

Despite being exhausted Cindy found it difficult to sleep. In addition to the higher gravity and lower oxygen of Felangie her concern about Jimmy worked to keep her awake. When at last she did fall asleep she immediately had a nightmare that she, Jimmy, and the rest of the Retroville kids were back in King Goobot's dungeon, waiting for their parents to be sacrificed to Poultra. Again they escaped and raced to the stadium to stop the sacrifice, but this time something went terribly wrong. King Goobot swooped down, seized Jimmy, and carried him high aloft above the monstrous chicken.

"Oh, Poultra!" the Yolkian sang out, as Jimmy struggled to break free, "Appetizer for din-din!" As Cindy watched in horror he cast the boy into Poultra's gaping maw, and Cindy heard Jimmy's faint screams suddenly silenced as the bird's massive beak snapped shut on the tiny form. Then, as Cindy backed away in terrified silence, Poultra's hideous head turned to regard her. Quicker than Cindy would have believed possible the head suddenly shot toward her, the mouth gaping wide to engulf her.

She awoke with a start, her heart hammering in her chest and her breath coming in short gasps. She wiped the sweat from her forehead with a shaky hand, trying to calm down. _It was a dream_, she told herself. _Just a dream._ Or was it? The best she had been able to do was leave a message. Maybe the message had been delayed. Maybe it had been ignored. For all she knew Jimmy was on Yolkus, once again a prisoner in the dungeons and subject to King Goobot's malevolent whims. He might…he might even already be…

Cindy curled up and savagely thrust the thought from her mind. _He's all right_, she told herself fiercely, closing her eyes tightly against the hot tears that were beginning to form. _He's got to be._ She repeated this to herself over and over like a mystic mantra, building a wall against the doubts and fears that threatened to overwhelm her. Eventually the chant lulled her back to sleep and she again found herself with Jimmy. Relief washed over her at the sight of him.

"I thought you were gone," she said, and she smiled in her sleep.

Jimmy smiled back. "Not yet."

That answer bothered her. "Are you leaving?"

"Sometimes I'll have to. But no matter how far apart we are, there's something you should know and always remember." He leaned towards her, holding her eyes with his.

"What's that?" Cindy's mouth felt suddenly dry. Her heart was again beating faster, but in a pleasurable way.

"That the shortest distance between two people is through the heart," he answered softly, his lips drawing closer to hers. "And if our hearts are one, we can never really be apart, Cindy."

Cindy closed her eyes and said nothing, waiting.

"Cindy."

__

Go ahead, she thought, with growing anticipation and impatience.

"Cindy!"

"What?" she snapped back, her eyes opening. To her surprise she found herself in bed in her room. Daylight was streaming through the window and Libby was standing by the door, looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and impatience on her face.

"Are you going to sleep all day, girl?" Libby asked. "It's nearly lunch time. You already missed breakfast."

Cindy sighed and shelved the memory of the dream for another day. "No, I'm not going to sleep all day," she said in a slightly grumpy voice as she rose and reached for the dressing gown by her bed. "But would it have killed you to let me sleep another five minutes?"

After a quick shower Cindy dressed and followed Libby downstairs to the dining room. She had only taken a few steps when she stopped and looked at her feet curiously. Libby stopped and stared at her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It seems easier to walk now, but feels kind of funny."

Libby laughed. "Oh, that. While you were sleeping Sheen put some of that elastic stuff Jimmy made on the bottoms of our shoes. Makes walking a lot easier, doesn't it?"

"I guess so," mumbled Cindy, moving forward again. While walking was undeniably easier it took a while to get used to the spring and Cindy needed to concentrate on her walking until she felt more comfortable with the rebounding sensation. The mention of Jimmy also stirred some unhappy thoughts and she didn't speak again until she and Libby arrived at the dining room.

The princess was not there, and neither were Sheen or Carl. The butlers waiting on them explained that Masters Carl and Sheen were engaged in their training, that Her Highness was observing them, and that they would be taking their lunch in the training facility with the Royal Guards. After some discussion they decided to watch Carl's training as well once they had finished eating. Cindy had some training in martial arts and it was possible that she could offer some practical advice for the fight tomorrow. By now they were fairly familiar with the building and found their way down to the training area without difficulty.

When they arrived they found Carl in what appeared to be a hexagonal boxing ring, squaring off against a Felangian they assumed to be one of the Royal Guard. Cindy thought that it might be the captain who had accompanied Princess Leama to the spaceport the day before, but she couldn't be sure as Felangians were still alien enough to look very much alike to her. Surrounding the ring were Sheen, Princess Leama, and a number of other Felangians. The Felangian inside the ring seemed to be instructing Carl.

"The match is a competition match only," he was saying, "so that the serrated ridges on the forearms and shins will be padded as mine are. You needn't worry about blocking the usual slash and cut attacks." He demonstrated the attacks in slow motion with his padded limbs and all the humans felt relieved. The attacks all looked to be very formidable and some positively lethal, at least to humans. "You will, however, need to be able to block, counter, parry, or evade thrusting attacks such as punches, jabs, and similar blows." He again demonstrated several of the attacks in slow motion.

"Are you getting all this, Carl?" Sheen called.

"Yeah, I think so." Carl studied the moves the Felangian was demonstrating very carefully.

"You think you can handle it?"

Carl scoffed. "Are you kidding? These are so slow even my mom could block them."

Sheen hung his head with an audible sigh. "Carl, he's just demonstrating them for you. That Carfax guy -"

"Vermax," corrected Princess Leama.

"Yeah, him. He's going to be swinging a lot harder and faster at you than this guy is."

Carl thought about that. "Oh. Well, maybe we'd better go through some of them again, then," he replied in a subdued tone.

The Royal Guard was well-trained, for the Felangian was nothing if not patient. He repeated the attacks and continued to provide helpful advice and instruction. "You undoubtedly have noted that the Felangian shoulder joint is not constructed as yours is," he went on. "In making a thrusting attack, your opponent will need to rotate his torso thusly." He repeated the same jab several times, showing how his upper body had to rock back and forth. "This will leave his side unguarded. If you can sidestep the attack, a strong blow here," he pointed to a spot in his side between two flexible plates, "can stun him and leave him off balance." The guard straightened. "Do you wish to try?"

"Okay," said Carl. "Let's do it slow the first time."

The Felangian obliged, thrusting slowly at Carl and leaving his side unprotected. Carl swung slowly, trying to hit the indicated area that was about a foot above his head. His first attack went wide and glanced off one of the guard's plates. The guard straightened. "A good first try. Try again."

The repeated the maneuver. This time Carl's punch was closer, and the guard nodded. "Better. Once more."

The third time proved a charm. Carl's blow struck the area and the guard staggered, nearly going down on one knee. "Excellent," he said when he straightened again. "As you can see, power is not necessary to take advantage of that vulnerability."

"I wonder why that is," Libby murmured.

Cindy shrugged. "I guess their exoskeletons are their main defense so there's no real protection if you get past it. Or maybe there's a nerve cluster there and it's like us hitting our funny bone."

"One danger of this counterattack," the Felangian said, "is that if you miss with your blow you are open for a counter-counterattack, either as a jab with the elbow, a reverse sweep with the forearm, or a spin kick with the leg." He demonstrated each of these possibilities. "Consequently, following your counterattack, you must be ready to roll out of the way or duck. Fortunately for you your stature will give you an advantage in that regard. The most dangerous to you will be the spin kick. As your opponent might kick with either leg in either direction be sure to roll backwards away from him rather than to either side. Do you understand?"

"I think so," answered Carl slowly. "Punch the side between those two scaly things, roll –"

"_Do you understand?_" the Felangian shouted. Princess Leama stiffened.

Carl cringed. "Yes," he managed to squeak out.

The guard relaxed. "Excellent." In a more kindly tone he said, "Forgive me, but I forget that these are matters that are new to you. The correct answer is always 'yes' if you understand or 'no' if you do not. If you understand we will continue on to new topics. If you do not we will go over what you do not understand until you feel comfortable with it and do understand. Do you understand?"

"Well," Carl began, but seeing the hardening expression on the Felangian's face quickly said, "Yes. I understand."

The instructor smiled and there was some soft laughter from some of the observers. "Excellent."

Because of her own self-defense training Cindy had been absorbed in Carl's instruction, but Libby had been only partly paying attention. Consequently she saw something that Cindy missed. She excitedly tugged on Cindy's sleeve. "Cindy!" she whispered hoarsely. "I think I saw him!"

"What?" Cindy tried to shift gears from Carl's training to whatever Libby was talking about.

"I saw him! That robot! The one that Carl and Sheen said talked with Jimmy right before Jimmy disappeared. He just went past the door!"

"Robot?" Cindy's thought about it. "How do you know it was him?"

"It matched the description that Carl and Sheen and some of the palace staff gave me. Maybe it isn't him, but it might be."

Now that they were fairly sure what had happened to Jimmy Cindy wasn't sure if it was important anymore to speak with it. On the other hand, she decided, they might be able to get some useful information regarding Khormak out of it. "Right. Let's do it. Which way did he go?"

Following Libby's lead they headed down the corridor and after hurrying around a corner caught sight of a metallic shape not far ahead. With a burst of speed, aided by their newly coated shoes, they closed the distance. When they were within a dozen yards of the robot it stopped and turned. "Good day."

"We'll be the judge of that," Cindy shot back. "We have some questions to ask you."

"I'll be happy to answer, if I can," the robot answered politely.

"First off," said Libby, "are you the robot who was supposed to help train Carl for the fight tomorrow?"

"Indeed I am, Miss. My designation is Exjay Nine. Are you acquainted with Master Wheezer?"

"Yes, we are," answered Libby. "My name is Libby Folfax and this is Cindy Vortex. We're friends of Carl's." She felt somewhat odd introducing herself and Libby to a machine but with this polite automaton is seemed rude not to.

"Very pleased to meet you," Exjay Nine answered. "Did my sensors correctly record that your name is Cindy Vortex?"

"Well…yes," Cindy replied uncertainly. "Does that matter?"

"Indeed, yes, Miss," the robot replied. It extended an arm, a folded paper in its mechanical hand. "This arrived for you not long ago. I was on my way to your quarters to deliver it."

"For me? What is it?" asked Cindy as she took the paper.

"A stellagram, Miss."

"From whom?"

"I'm sure I don't know, Miss. It is not within my programming to scan other people's communications."

Cindy regarded the robot narrowly. Exjay Nine might have been telling the truth but it was impossible for her to be sure, as the mechanical expression never changed. At last Cindy sighed. "All right, thanks. You can go."

"Thank you, Miss. If you require my services, simply summon me. Any member of the staff will be able to reach me." Exjay Nine turned and moved off with a faint electromechanical hum.

Cindy watched the robot disappear around a corner before turning to Libby. "What do you think, Libs?" she finally asked.

"I think you should read that stellagram."

"What? Oh, yes." She carefully inspected the paper and determined that the seals had not been previously broken or opened and resealed before she tore it open along a pre-stressed strip. The message was short, but spoke volumes to her. She smiled without realizing it but said nothing.

"Well?" asked Libby impatiently. "What is it?"

"Good news," said Cindy but she did not elaborate. She read the paper once more before carefully folding it and placing it in her pocket. The short message said only

PACKAGE OK STOP. APRIL.

End of Part 17


	19. Part 18 The Main Event

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 18:

Twenty-four hours later Cindy's feeling of uneasiness had returned. She, Libby, and Princess Leama were now seated in the royal box at the large arena hosting the fight, and despite Carl's training of the day before Cindy had misgivings about his combat abilities. In addition to that Minister Khormak's intentions remained a mystery, and she still had doubts as to the princess' motives. For what seemed the hundredth time she pushed the gnawing doubts aside, telling herself that if things looked bad for Carl that he could always concede.

The one bright spot at the moment was the gorgeous apparel they were wearing. Her and Libby's clothes and jewelry had been ready that day, as promised, and after being suitably coifed by practiced stylists the two Earth girls felt nearly as regal as the princess who was also stunningly attired. At first Cindy and Libby had felt somewhat overdressed for the event, but Princess Leama easily dismissed their reservations by pointing out that they weren't going to be the ones in the ring.

So Cindy tried to relax as she waited for the competition to begin, making such responses to the princess' and Libby's small talk as she could. _If only Jimmy were here_, she thought. _I'm surprised he isn't here already…unless he's busy with his Gorlock girlfriend._ The last thought only added to her uneasiness and she fought to concentrate on the audio commentary from the planet-wide telecast that was coming from a speaker inside the private booth.

"As many of our viewers know, this is the first interplanetary match between a human from Earth and any other species, Derl," one commentator was saying.

"Right you are, Klag," the other commentator replied, "and I'm sure that the human will have many surprises for us during this historic bout. I have it on good authority that the human, Carl Wheezer, has been personally trained by none other than the Royal Guard."

"Well, that comes as no surprise. The rumor mill has it that the princess herself is rooting for the Earth champion, rather than Vermax, the champion of her own world." Cindy shot a quick look at Princess Leama, who showed no reaction. "That would certainly fit in with her announced policies to normalize relations with other worlds and societies. I wouldn't be surprised if –"

"Just a second, Klag. There appears to be some commotion coming from the crowd. I think that…yes, it is. The Earth champion Carl is making his way to the ring and the crowd is definitely giving him a warm reception."

Looking down Cindy could see Carl and Sheen making their way through the enthusiastic crowd towards the hexagonal shaped ring. Carl was wearing an oversized bathrobe and Sheen was carrying two large bags, and from their expressions the crowd was indeed giving them a friendly welcome. Although the human fighter was going up against the local favorite the Felangians seemed to recognize and respecte courage.

"No doubt a number of our viewers are curious, as am I, about the shields the Earth champion is wearing over his eyes, Derl."

"Well, I had a chance to have a few words with Carl's manager and trainer before the fight and he tells me that they are to compensate for some deficiency in his visual acuity," Derl responded.

There was a laugh from Klag. "A curious species, these humans. If some structure is not functioning properly why not simply detach it and regenerate a new one?"

"A question I'm sure many of our viewers have asked themselves, Klag." There was a brief pause, followed by, "The Earth champion is now climbing into the ring…but he appears to be having some difficulty. He seems to be caught in one of the ropes. His manager is trying to help, but Carl is dragging him into the ropes…and now they're both trying to get loose. Okay, the manager is free now and has made it into the ring, but Carl still seems to be stuck. A number of spectators are attempting to extricate him, but…"

Cindy buried her face in her hands. As short as the fight was probably going to be it would undoubtedly seem like an eternity.

"Just a moment, Derl," the other commentator interrupted. "There's a disturbance of some kind from the other side of the arena and it looks like Vermax is making his entrance."

"Carl is nearly out, now, but it looks as though one of the spectators who was trying to help him is also hung up now."

"Yes, indeed, he's quite an impressive sight. It's small wonder that he's the Felangian champion and ranked fourth in the galaxy. As everyone knows, no one has ever gone the distance with Vermax."

"Okay, the Earth champion is loose but outside the ring. He's trying to make his way back inside again…and I think…yes…he's made it!"

"And the crowd is going wild here."

"For Vermax or for Carl making it into the ring, Klag?"

"Probably, Derl."

From her seat Cindy had been watching the Felangian champion as he climbed into the ring. Even from this distance she could tell that he was enormous and dwarfed Carl. Rather than climb through the ropes he stepped over them, the way a child might step over a low fence. Now he turned slowly in the center of the ring, arms raised, basking in the adulation of the crowd. _What is going on here?_ Cindy asked herself.

She was not the only one who was taken aback. "Carl is supposed to fight _that_?" Libby demanded of the princess.

The princess seemed surprised. "Of course. Surely you understood that." Seeing their faces she went on, "Did not Carl say that he was the champion in his class?"

Cindy's mouth worked noiselessly for a moment before words came out. "But…I mean…he didn't mean some kind of fighting weight class."

"What then?" the princess asked, looking puzzled.

At that moment Libby's phone sounded, interrupting the discussion. "Excuse me while I take this, Lee," she said, activating the device. "Hello? What? Oh, hi, Jimmy. How did you – what? Yes, she is. Hold on." She held the phone out to Cindy. "It's for you."

Cindy snatched the phone from Libby, her mind reeling. "Hello?"

"Cindy?"

"Yes, Cindy. Who else besides Libby would be using a working cell phone thirty light years from Earth?"

"No time for that. Has Carl's fight started yet?"

"It's just about to," replied Cindy, keeping an eye on the goings-on in the ring. "But there's something you have to know."

"That can wait. Listen up, Cindy. No matter what, the fight has to keep going for an hour."

"An hour?" Cindy almost felt like laughing. "Are you serious? This guy Carl is fighting is –"

"It doesn't matter. The fight can't end for at least an hour. Do whatever you guys have to, but keep it going."

"But –"

Jimmy's voice sounded urgent. "Promise me you'll do this. A lot depends on it."

Over the years Cindy had grown accustomed to facing impossible situations as a consequence of knowing a boy genius like Jimmy Neutron. And over the years she had learned, and had almost come to accept as a law of nature, that the impossible can be achieved. She sighed. "All right. We'll do what we can."

"Thanks, Cindy. See you soon."

Before Cindy could ask Jimmy any of the questions she had been wanting to ask him the connection went dead again. She handed the phone back to Libby without comment and watched the two figures meeting in the ring. _An hour?_ she thought. _How are we supposed to keep Carl going for an hour against _him 

"I'm sorry," the princess said. "There was something you were going to tell me about Carl fighting Vermax?"

Cindy swallowed and said only, "It should be quite a fight."

"And the combatants are now meeting in the middle of the ring for the pre-bout formalities," came over the speaker.

Without warning Vermax suddenly loosed a roar in Carl's face that literally blew the hair on his head backwards and that nearly deafened him. The noise rolled around the massive arena for nearly half a minute before finally subsiding. For a moment there was complete silence in the stadium, followed by tumultuous applause and cheering.

"And a very crowd-pleasing Bellow of Defiance from Vermax, Klag."

"Indeed, Derl. And to his credit the human is taking it all in stride and not flinching so much as a grell that I can see."

The reason for Carl's lack of reaction was pure mental overload from having the alien giant bellow in his face, as no one had thought to tell him beforehand about it. After several seconds his brain began to function again and his immediate reaction was to scream as loud as he could and wave his arms in pure terror. The shriek reverberated through the arena, heterodyning and building in volume as it went. Finally, nearly a minute later, Carl stopped and gasped for air. Again the spectators were silent for a brief time before erupting into thunderous applause and cheers. Carl looked around, not understanding what he had done, but his terror faded in the face of the cheering crowd.

"Impressive," Klag commented, raising his voice to be heard above the din. "I don't think anyone has ever responded to the Bellow of Defiance from Vermax so forcefully before. The human is clearly showing that he's come here to fight."

"I have to agree that there's a lot more to these humans than meets the eye," added Derl as the noise died away. "And now both fighters have retired to their neutral areas to await the start of this match." There came a faint clang from direction of the ring. "And there's the bell for Round 1."

End of Part 18

Author's Notes:

And so it begins. As I've mentioned before the disadvantage of a printed story is that you can't do split screens to show simultaneous action and cuts between different points of view in the story are awkward at best. Consequently I had to tell this chapter mostly from the point of view of Cindy which tends to limit the story a bit.

On another note, kudos to those who have been finding some errors in the chapters. Trying to juggle all these characters is definitely a challenge and from time to time I inadvertently drop one that's supposed to stay in the air.


	20. Part 19 Save by the Bell

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 19:

At the sound of the bell Carl moved with exaggerated caution towards the center of the ring towards his opponent, his lungs freshly charged with Jimmy's hyper-oxygenated compound. Despite his recent training long experience with bullies and a deep-rooted fear of the unknown had taught him to be careful in new situations with people he did not know. The fact that this situation was on an alien planet and the person he was facing was a hostile 8-foot insectoid giant only increased his tendency to be wary.

Although not as timid as Carl Vermax also moved forward carefully. He had never fought a human before and in his professional career he had learned not to underestimate an opponent. In addition, experience had shown that there was no profit to be had by simply beating an opponent into the ground. Should the human prove to be as weak and simple as he appeared to be Vermax would have to make a fine show of defeating him and thus please the crowd. No victory must appear to be too easily won.

As the two combatants maneuvered around each other, searching for an opening, it was Vermax who struck first. A padded yet massive fist hurtled towards Carl, threatening to turn his head into a shapeless lump. But when Vermax's punch reached its intended destination Carl's head was no longer there. With a yelp he had leaped backwards out of reach, nearly spanning the width of the ring. The super-elasticized Neutrogunk on his shoes, coupled with the added energy from the increased oxygen, had given him the ability to leap somewhat further than the average kangaroo. The next few minutes consisted of Vermax swinging wildly but futilely at Carl with Carl bounding about Vermax at each new blow like a demented rabbit around an angry turtle. With each new punch and jump the crowd let loose another gasp and subsequent cheer. Klag and Derl were enjoying the exhibition as much as anyone, having never seen anything like it.

"This is certainly impressive," announced Klag. "I don't know anyone who's ever been able to avoid Vermax's best punches like this."

"Indeed, Klag," agreed Derl. "The human is clearly demonstrating his superior agility and dexterity. Our planetwide viewers and the crowd here are definitely getting their money's worth with this match."

"The only question now is just how long he can keep it up, Derl."

"And if he hopes to win, he has to change his strategy. I don't think he's thrown a punch yet. If he wants to win this fight, he'll have to start taking the offensive soon. Otherwise Vermax could take this round on points."

"And it looks as though – oh, that was a close one! As I was saying, it looks as through Vermax is definitely getting angrier. And the angrier he gets –"

"- the stronger he gets. I only hope the ring can stand up to his punches, Klag."

In the ring Carl could see that Vermax did in fact appear to be getting stronger, and on occasion a blow meant for him would strike one of the struts supporting the ropes that enclosed the ring. When the punch landed the entire ring would shake, throwing Carl off-balance and giving Vermax a chance to land a real punch. Carl had so far been able to avoid being struck, but he knew that it would only take one punch to end the fight. As the round dragged on and his supercharged lungs began to empty he wondered how much longer he could keep avoiding Vermax's attacks. Jimmy had told him the compound would last about five or six minutes and he was already starting to feel short of breath. He was also beginning to feel parched as the exertion and heat of the arena lights dehydrated him.

In the royal box Cindy looked at her watch and worried. The fight had been going on for about six minutes, but the round was not yet over. She wanted to excuse herself on some pretext as soon as the round ended so that she could sneak down and tell Sheen and Carl to keep the fight going, but thus far the round showed no signs of ending. Finally she turned to Princess Leama. "Excuse me," she said, "but just how long is this fight? How long are the rounds?"

"Did you not know?" asked Leama. "I must apologize. On Felangie we follow the galactic standard of 3 rounds of ten standard timeparts, or approximately seventeen Felangian chronals each."

"A chronal?" Cindy echoed.

"Yes. The fight has been going on for about five chronals now."

Cindy used that information to do some rapid figuring and was shocked. The round was going to last close to twenty minutes. A quick look at Carl convinced her that he was tiring fast and that he would be lucky to last through even the first round. _Keep the fight going an hour?_ she thought. _How in the world am I going to manage to get Carl to do that?_

"Your friend Carl is doing quite well so far," the princess commented. "Do you expect him to do any hitting soon?"

_Yes_, Cindy thought. _Against the mat_. But all she said was, "I certainly hope so."

In the ring Vermax sensed that his opponent was tiring and began to plan his moves and punches more carefully. Rather than just swinging wildly at the pesky fly that buzzed about him he would feint and then swing as rapidly as he could at where he expected Carl to leap next. With each punch Carl reacted a little more slowly and leapt a little less far. And with each punch Vermax's guess as to Carl's landing position grew a little more accurate. It was only a matter of time before one of his mighty punches would find its target. Only sheer luck and adrenaline had carried him this far.

After what seemed like hours to Carl the ordeal came to a sudden and brutal end. Vermax threw a carefully considered combination of three quick punches. Carl succeeded in slipping the first punch and needed a second or two to avoid the others. Fortune blessed him with the first second, and then, fickle companion that she was, denied him the second. A crushing blow slammed into him, knocking him to the mat and sending him spinning into darkness. Instantly the crowd was on its feet, twenty thousand voices merging into a deafening clamor. Cindy and Libby were on their feet as well, their faces frozen with horror as the announcers' voices flooded into the box in a shrill stream.

"…the human is down…"

"…not clear how badly hurt…"

"…could be all over now…"

"…count is starting…"

In the ring an official had begun counting Carl out, his voice as solemn and rhythmic as the toll of a bell. As the count progressed Sheen pleaded with Carl to get up.

"_One._"

"Come on, Carl. You can do it."

"_Two._"

"You've come this far already."

"_Three._"

"Don't check out now, buddy."

"_Four._"

"It's not over 'til it's over, you know."

"_Five._"

"Please? For Ultra Lord?"

"_Six._"

"For me?"

"_Seven._"

"For the llamas?"

"_Eight._"

"For the love of humanity, _please_ get up!"

"_Nine._"

Sheen hung his head in defeat. It was over.

And then just as suddenly, it was not. As the official raised his hand for the final count the bell sounded, ending the round. Like a pistol shot Sheen was in the ring and pulled the senseless Carl to his corner. Once there he struggled desperately to revive the boy, wiping his face with a damp cloth. Carl stirred sluggishly, mumbling incoherently. Encourage by this Sheen seized Carl's inhaler and sprayed the hyper-oxygenated compound into Carl's mouth, pressing his diaphragm to force him to take a breath. After a couple seconds Carl coughed and opened his eyes. He looked about him unsteadily and tried to focus his eyes on Sheen.

"Mom?" was all he could say.

"Carl!" Sheen cried joyfully. "You're alive!"

"Uh…yeah," Carl replied unsteadily. "I guess. Did I win?"

Now that Carl was conscious again Sheen decided that it was time to put an end to the fight. "Carl, listen to me. You can't go back in there." Sheen interrupted as Carl tried to speak. "Don't try to argue about it. That guy will kill you to death if you go back in that ring."

"Who's arguing?" asked Carl feebly. "I'm not going back in there. Can I have some water?"

"But you have to go back in, Carl," another voice said.

"Well, okay, if you say so," said Sheen. "I just thought that – hey!" His head snapped around. "Cindy! What are you doing here?'

"Water," Carl croaked.

"There's something important I have to say," Cindy answered, moving closer to Carl. "Listen, Carl, I know you're hurting. And I can't force you to go back in. But it's important that you do. You have to finish the fight."

"Why?" asked Sheen, handing Carl a flask.

"Yeah, why?" asked Carl, between parched gulps.

Cindy shook her head. "I can't tell you. All I can tell you is that it's important. If you don't want to go in, you don't have to. But…this could be the most important thing you've ever done in your life."

Carl wiped his mouth. "Uh-uh, no way. I'm not going back out there."

Cindy thought. Jimmy had told her that a lot depended on keeping the fight going for an hour, but sending Carl back in was tantamount to asking him to commit suicide. Jimmy surely must have known that and now she had to trust that he had known what he was asking. She knew that she would hate herself forever for what she was about to say, but felt that she had no choice. "Carl, please. Princess Leama is counting on you."

Carl roused himself. "Leama?" he repeated faintly.

"Yes. You have to do this for her. She…she needs you."

A strange look crossed Carl's face. As a young girl Cindy had read stories of men who had endured hardships and perils beyond description for the love of a woman, but as she grew older she had come to believe that she would ever meet anyone who would actually do so. As Carl struggled painfully to his feet she found herself believing once again in a love that was stronger than time and deeper than the reaches of space itself. "Let's do this," Carl said grimly, sucking once again on his inhaler. As he did so the bell rang again.

Round Two had begun.

End of Part 19


	21. Part 20 Carl Bounces Back

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 20:

Carl once again waded cautiously into the ring, re-energized both by the hyper-oxygenating compound and the thought that Princess Leama was counting on him. Vermax moved in also, but far more confidently and quickly than before. He had assessed his opponent's abilities and had determined that this human posed no threat to him. He need only bide his time for the opportunity to strike to again present itself but this time, he knew, the human would not return for another round. Carl seemed to understand that as well and fell back on his strategy of evading Vermax's mighty swings and jabs that had, for a while at least, worked so well the last round. He realized that it was only a temporary defense. Already his legs felt strangely rubbery.

As Carl leapt and sprang about the ring Cindy returned to the royal box. The princess only smiled at her, but Libby looked at her curiously. "That took a while," she commented.

"Oh…yeah," Cindy replied as she fished for an excuse. "Long line to the powder room. Worse than the Retroplex movie theater Friday night." She turned her attention to the battle going on in the ring below and fervently hoped that she had done the right thing.

Thus far Carl was doing a good job of staying away from Vermax. Although he could have just stood there the Felangian champion continued to swing furiously at Carl as he bounded about the ring. It may have been that he felt obligated to please the spectators, or he possibly might have wanted to finish the fight as quickly as possible. In any case it forced Carl to keep moving and expend precious energy with each leap. Once again he began to tire and his jumps became slower and shorter.

"It seems that the human is slowing down again," commented Klag over the box speaker.

"Indeed, Klag," Derl replied. "Most unfortunate, but I guess it goes to show that the old fighting methods really are the best."

"You can't beat the classics."

"Absolutely not. And once again it appears that Carl from Earth is slowing to a stop. Vermax looks to be taking his time waiting for his final punch, this time."

"No doubt. He knows this fight is over and there's no reason to hurry."

"Here it comes. Vermax is winding up…"

"The human doesn't even seem to be trying to avoid it…"

_I can't look_, thought Cindy miserably, covering her face as Vermax's fist again hurtled towards Carl. The blow landed, sending Carl flying head over heels towards the edge of the ring as the crowd roared its approval. Just as suddenly the tumult ceased as the crowd froze in utter disbelief. Rather than crumpling to the floor in a senseless heap after striking the ropes surrounding the ring, Carl rocketed back towards the incredulous Vermax as though fired from a cannon. Instinctively Carl threw his hands up in front of him just in time for both fists to strike the Felangian squarely on the jaw with a resounding thud before Carl dropped to the mat. For several long seconds Vermax stood there as he swayed gently back and forth with a dazed and disbelieving look on his face. Then he fell over backwards, striking the floor of the ring like a felled redwood. There was a faint inrush of air as every spectator sucked in a gasp of amazement. Then the arena exploded in the noise of twenty thousand voices speaking at once.

Cindy looked up to see what had happened as the frenzied voices of the commentators issued from the speaker. "He's down! He's down!" Derl was shouting maniacally. "Vermax is down!"

"Unbelievable!" Klag added just as stridently. "This in absolutely unheard of! Carl Wheezer has shocked the planet!"

Cindy could only stare open-mouthed at the sight of Carl standing over Vermax, having missed the events leading up to this. The official, appearing to be as stunned as everyone else, motioned Carl to move to a neutral corner before walking over to Vermax. He then began to count, even though it had already been a good fifteen seconds since Carl had downed the champion.

As it happened Carl had gone to a corner adjacent to the corner Sheen was at. "Good going, Carl!" Sheen yelled. "How did you do it?"

"I don't know," Carl shouted back. "But it's really funny. It didn't even hurt when he punched me that time."

"Well, whatever happened, keep it up! But you see now? You see? He's not a machine! He's not a machine! He's a –" Sheen broke off to thing about it. "Well, he's not really a man, actually," he mused. He's more like a praying mantis, or one of those big bugs you see in those films of South America…"

As Sheen continued trying to think of the right way to describe Vermax the Felangian champion began to stir. At the count of six he opened his eyes and sat groggily up and by the count of eight he had clambered back to his feet, albeit unsteadily. He stood there panting as the official wiped rosin from the padding on his hand and forearms, looking baffled and angry. Once the official had retreated he moved towards Carl, pounding his fist together.

"Watch out, Carl!" Sheen shouted. Carl nodded and moved away, trying once again to keep his distance from the towering Felangian. Not sure what had happened to save him the last time he was not willing to count on a second miracle to save him again. Sheen let loose a sigh as he picked up a flask for a drink of water to calm his nerves. The flask was empty and he was about to put it back down when he caught a faint scent. He sniffed the mouth of the container and detected the unmistakable and somehow familiar scent of mint. Puzzled, he looked at the flask, then at Carl, and then back at the flask again before placing the odor. His eyes widened. "Oops," was all he could say.

In the ring Carl was doing his best to dodge Vermax's punches and succeeding. The champion was still dazed and confused from being knocked down and was at first more cautious in pressing his attack which gave Carl more time to elude his blows. With each miss, however, Vermax became more and more frustrated and began swinging more wildly. With so many punches directed towards him it was only a matter of time before Carl was struck and went sailing across the ring again. And once again he rebounded from the ring ropes and flew swiftly back towards Vermax. This time the Felangian was not immobilized with disbelief and had time to react. He swatted Carl aside as the human hurtled towards him, much as a child might hit a tetherball, and sent Carl spinning off in a different direction. Again Carl bounced back towards Vermax.

The rest of the round was more reminiscent of a game of handball than a fight. Again and again Vermax struck Carl, and each time Carl would ricochet back towards the perplexed Vermax, completely unharmed and actually beginning to enjoy the experience. Sometimes he would initially miss Vermax and strike the ropes on the other side of the ring, but after several bounces he would inevitably head straight towards Vermax. The crowd and commentators were thoroughly enjoying this novel show.

"I only hope our viewers are getting a good picture of this, Klag."

"As do I, Derl."

"Does it look as though Vermax is getting tired to you?"

"It could be, but I think a more serious problem is his backhand. He'll have to keep his wrist straighter if he hopes to ever make match point."

"Indeed, Klag. Do you happen to know what the score is?"

"No, Derl, I'm afraid I lost count after the twentieth advantage in."

Cindy had been as puzzled as everyone else at what was happening in the ring but had figured out what must have happened. She knew that neither she nor Libby had exhibited any odd symptoms from being on Felangie which eliminated environmental effects, and that Carl was bouncing like a rubber ball. It wasn't long before she made the connection with Jimmy's super-elasticizer and concluded that somehow Carl had ingested some. For half a second she considered telling Libby and Princess Leama, but quickly decided against it. Carl could hardly hurt the champion and she wasn't exactly sure what the princess would do if she knew what had happened. She might decide to immediately end the fight and that was something that Jimmy had told her must not happen. Saying nothing would give Carl the best chance of keeping the fight going as long as it had to go.

"Your friend's stamina is most impressive," remarked Princess Leama as Carl flew around the ring.

"Oh, yes," was Cindy's straight-faced reply. "He's always been able to bounce back."

Libby didn't get it. "Say what?"

"Just telling Lee that our friend is remarkably flexible."

"He is?"

"Although that may be stretching things a bit."

Before Libby could ask what Cindy what she was talking about the ring bell sounded. "And that's the end of the second round, Derl," announced Klag.

"Not a round we're likely to forget, Klag," Derl replied.

"Vermax has retired to his corner, but it seems that Carl is determined to keep going."

"It will be interesting to see how he comes to a stop."

"You mean 'if', don't you?"

"Very probably. Okay, things with Carl seem to be under control again. He's managed to grab on to the rope and his manager had pulled him down to the mat. I wonder if he'll have that sort of spirit in the final round."

"I'm sure all our fight fans out there hope so, Derl."

Cindy grew suddenly sober. Carl had, through chance, providence, or sheer luck, gotten through the second round by ingesting Jimmy super-elasticizer. But he still had one more round and over twenty minutes left to go. A lot could happen in twenty minutes. And while she couldn't completely sure, it had seemed to her that Carl's bouncing had begun to slow down towards the end. Just as though – and the thought chilled her – just as though the super-elasticizer had begun to wear off.

End of Part 20


	22. Part 21 Go the Distance

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 21:

As Carl rose to confront Vermax for the last time Sheen called, "Okay, Carl! Just do what you did the last round and you'll go great!"

"I'll try," Carl called back in an uncertain voice. Although bouncing around the ring like a rubber ball hadn't really injured him it had worn him out, leaving him feeling strangely weary. It was a major effort for him to raise his arms or move his legs and he found it difficult to even keep his balance. What worried him further was that the last few blows he had received from Vermax had stung him, and he had no doubt that being hit again would at the least hurt considerably. He circled towards the champion cautiously, wondering how he would get through this round.

Vermax was also slow in closing with Carl, seeming just as anxious as the human to avoid any immediate confrontation. Cindy noticed this and was worried. Was Vermax just playing with his opponent, waiting to crush Carl as he had in the first round? Or was there more to it? "Hang in there, Carl," she breathed softly. "Just a few minutes more."

"What?" asked Libby, looking at her.

Cindy shook her head. "Nothing."

The fight commentators were also quick to notice Vermax's seeming reluctance and speculated on what this might mean.

"That last round may have taken more out of the champion than anyone thought, Klag," commented Derl.

"He does seem to have lost some of his characteristic zip," Klag agreed. "That knockdown may really have shaken him up."

"In more ways than one, perhaps. No one has ever downed the champ, or even gone this far before. He has to be wondering now if he can take this opponent down."

The truth was that Vermax was considerably confused and in doubt. He had never met an opponent with the sort of resilience that Carl, with the help of the super-elasticizer, had demonstrated so far. It was also true that he had never been knocked down and Vermax knew that it was sheer luck that had saved him from being counted out. The unthinkable possibility that he might be knocked out for certain this round gnawed at him, slowing his judgement and his reflexes. Even despite these factors Vermax might have tried to finish the fight quickly had he not also been utterly exhausted. No one had ever gone the distance with him before and Vermax's great strength alone had always been enough to grant him victory. He had never needed great stamina then. Now at the end he found it wanting.

"The two opponents are circling each other, each looking for an opening."

"They're respect for each other has got to have grown during this match, Derl. Each of them know that they've been in a fight."

"Oh, there's a jab from Vermax that nearly catches the human! Carl barely managed to get out of the way that time."

"I'd have to say that there wasn't much behind that punch, though. That looked almost like a feint to me, Derl."

"All part of Vermax' strategy, I'm sure."

"Indeed."

Vermax swung again at Carl, this time connecting with the boy's head. Carl staggered sideways, but did not fall, as sheer momentum rather than strength had driven the blow. He steadied himself and moved forward again. Vermax again jabbed, his torso twisting as he did so. Carl sidestepped it and then, remembering the advice of the Royal Guard captain, he stepped in and drove a padded fist at the joint between Vermax's side plates. The punch had virtually nothing behind it, but Vermax nearly sagged to one knee just the same as the punch hit home. The Felangian sluggishly swung a massive arm sideways in self-defense, but Carl had remembered to roll backwards out of reach and Vermax sliced only air. Carl clambered to his feet, still tired but unhurt.

"Keep after him, Carl!" Sheen yelled.

Carl stepped forward again as Vermax slowly straightened. Again a huge fist flew Carl's way, and again Carl sidestepped it and followed through with a feeble blow to the side. Again Vermax staggered, but this time did not seem to have the energy for a counter-punch. Instead he drew his arm in, protecting the vulnerable side, and backed away from Carl with his other arm positioned directly in front of him. Cindy, Libby, and Princess Leama listened to the voices coming over the speaker with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

"I'm not sure what I'm seeing here, Klag. It appears that Vermax is fighting a purely defensive battle now. This is unheard of for the champion."

"A stunning turn of events to be sure. The human Carl appears to be exhausted, and barely on his feet, but he actually looks to be pressing the attack."

Klag was not mistaken. There comes a point in human endeavor where pain and fatigue strip away all thought or reason until only the driving purpose remains. Carl had reached that point, pushed beyond his limits by the hyper-oxygenated formula and super-elasticizer compound. He was weary and exhausted, more so than he had ever felt in his life, but stumbled forward doggedly to achieve the goal that was all that now remained to him. He could not remember the reasons why or even who had told him to do so. He knew only that it was important that he keep fighting the giant before him until the end and that he must not stop. With his failing strength he leapt at Vermax, causing the Felangian to instinctively bring both hands in front of him. Upon landing Carl then sprang to the Vermax's side and began pounding weakly at the champion's vulnerable spot. Too weak now to even cover up Vermax sidestepped, attempting to break free of the persistent assault, his knees starting to buckle. Sheen shouted encouragement, but it was lost in the roar of the crowd. Both Klag and Derl could barely get their words at.

"He's chopping the champion down…"

"It's might just be a question of time now…"

"…champion is starting to crumble…"

"…determination of this human is incredible…"

"…don't know what's keeping Vermax up…"

"…looks like this might be the final punch…"

"…could be the end of this fight…"

"…here it comes…"

Summoning the last of his energy Carl drew hi fist back and steadied himself for a second before throwing himself forward, all his weight and waning strength behind the blow. It struck Vermax squarely on the intended joint, rocking the Felangian and causing Carl to stagger forward from the momentum of his punch. For a split second everything seemed frozen in time, with Carl struggling to retain his balance, Vermax reeling from the impact, and the crowd motionless in stunned anticipation. Then Vermax's knees folded and he toppled forward onto the mat just as the bell sounded, ending the round and the fight.

Carl had gone the distance.

Around the ring pandemonium reigned. Sheen, Vermax's manager, and the fight official rushed into the ring to assist the two combatants. Carl collapsed wearily into Sheen's arms as Vermax struggled to his feet with the aid of his manager. Between gasps for air all Vermax could say was, "Ain't gonna be no rematch. Ain't gonna be no rematch."

"Don't want one," Carl gasped back as Sheen half-carried him to his corner. He sucked greedily on his inhaler and felt the burning in his oxygen-starved lungs subside as new strength slowly returned to his limbs.

"Boy, that was great, Carl!" Sheen exulted. "We gotta find a fighting nickname for you. You know, something like the Terran Terror, or the Retroville Slugger, or something like that in case you fight again."

Carl thought about it. "Well, my mom calls me 'Mommy's Favorite'."

Sheen stared at him. "'Mommy's Favorite'? What kind of fighting name is that?"

Carl sounded subdued. "A lot of kids used to try beating me up when they heard it."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot," Sheen replied in a thoughtful tone. Then he brightened. "But I'll bet they don't try picking a fight with you anymore."

Carl looked hopeful. "Really?"

"Maybe. I guess it depends on if they get galactic cable and saw the fight."

The official had been conversing with the fight judges and was now in the center of the ring with a handful of forms. As he began speaking the hubbub in the arena died. Cindy, Libby, and Princess Leama leaned forward to hear as well.

"We have a split decision," the official announced, his voice echoing in the silent arena. "The judges score it 2 to 1 for Vermax, champion of Felangie."

This announcement was greeted with a mixture of cheers and catcalls from the spectators. Sheen in particular was outraged. "What? A 2-to-1 decision for Vermax? What fight were the judges watching? I demand a recount! Or a rematch! Or a…a…rerun or something!"

"Don't harangue the officials, Sheen," Carl begged. "I don't want to fight Vermax anymore today."

"But we were robbed!" Sheen argued. "There's pride at stake here!" He suddenly stopped and stared at Carl. "'Harangue'? What does that mean?" Just as suddenly he shook his head. "No, it doesn't matter. We were cheated!"

"But –" Carl tried.

"Listen, all of you!" Sheen yelled at the crowd as he pointed at Carl. "I don't care what those judges say, this here's the guy that won the fight!" A chorus of voices broke out in apparent agreement with what Sheen said, while just as many spectators seemed to disagree. The official and judges looked troubled, but shook their heads to indicate that the decision would stand. Vermax hobbled to the center of the ring and lifted his hands in triumph for a brief second before dropping them exhaustedly to his sides.

In the royal box Cindy sagged back into her seat in relief. Win, lose, or draw Carl had kept the fight going for the hour Jimmy had asked for with no permanent physical damage. Now that the fight was over she wondered idly what Jimmy had intended and why it was so important for the fight to finish.

In his own private booth Minister Khormak clenched his fists in fury. Beyond any reason Vermax had not only failed to crush the human in a humiliating defeat, but the fight had actually ended in a contested decision. He had hoped to have a clean Felangian victory to simplify matters. But he could still salvage the situation. It would be risky, he knew, but the result of the fight left him no choice. The time for subtlety was over.

End of Part 21

Author's Notes:

After a longer than anticipated delay the story resumes again. The climax is coming so there's not too much longer to wait.

Some readers may have noted that the incident with Carl drinking the super-elasticizer and it's results the last chapter seemed familiar. This is because a similar incident was the origin of a minor DC comic book hero – Bouncing Boy of the Legion of Super-Heroes.


	23. Part 22 The Mask Falls

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 22:

After ensuring that he would not be seen or overheard Khormak activated a private handset. Almost immediately Skeets' voice answered. "We're listening."

"Good. How do things look?"

Rocco's voice came back. "Well, personally I think that champ was going down when the bell rang. I'd have to say that the human was the winner."

"What are you talking about?" Khormak heard Skeets say. "The human barely threw a punch until the last round!"

"He had Vermax cold even in the second round. If the official hadn't taken so long to begin the count -"

Khormak was just barely able to control his temper. "I'm not talking about the fight, you idiots! Is everything in position?"

"We're sorry, sir," Skeets apologized. "We picked them up on long-range scanner just a few minutes ago. They're moving into close orbit right now."

"Excellent. They're a bit late, but the important thing is that they got here. Keep this channel open and wait for my signal. Things will be happening very fast and I want things to move as soon as I give the word. We'll only have one chance at this." He switched off the handset and strode towards the ring where Sheen was still arguing with the officials over the outcome of the fight. A number of spectators had joined him and were voicing their agreement with him, while nearly as many were supporting the decision of the judges. Cindy, Libby, and Princess Leama had also moved to the ring and were watching the argument with some interest. The princess noticed Khormak's arrival and frowned, but he ignored her and moved to the microphone. "May I have your attention?" he announced over the public address system.

No one seemed to pay any attention to him, being too absorbed in the argument over the winner of the fight to listen. Khormak waited a few seconds before trying again.

"Your attention, please!" he repeated in a louder voice. This time those closest to him stopped arguing and turned to face him. Encouraged by this Khormak went on. "I'm afraid that I've have information of the most shocking nature. Information of activities so heinous and vile that they threaten the very existence of Felangie itself!"

This had the desired effect. Gradually, like ripples spreading across a pond, the spectators in the ring fell silent. _What's he up to?_ Cindy wondered.

"I arranged this competition," Khormak continued, "in an attempt to comply with the princess' stated policy of promoting good relations with other races. I did so believing that I was truly helping my people." He paused for effect, letting the curiosity of his audience build. "But now," he resumed as he turned slowly to face Princess Leama, "I find that I have been duped as thoroughly as every one of you. Deceived by one whose plans were nothing less than to destroy our very existence." He suddenly pointed an accusing finger at the princess. "Princess Leama is a traitor to her own people!"

At these words a stunned silence enveloped the crowd and every Felangian turned to face Princess Leama. In response the Princess Leama crossed her arms, her face coldly impassive. "Those are dangerous words, Minister Khormak," she said in a warning tone that carried through the arena. "What proof have you of this accusation?"

"Proof enough," Khormak replied smoothly. He turned again to the crowd. "You are all familiar with Her Highness' many attempts to change our ways. She cannot deny this. And you are all aware that she wished for the off-worlder to win this competition against the champion of her own world."

"I only did so because I came to respect his courage and honor!" Leama called out to her subjects in a voice shaking with rage. "Nothing more!"

"You did so because you wished to demonstrate to the humans that they could conquer this world!" Khormak retorted. "This was no simple act of good will. Her actions speak clearly. She wishes for Earth to take this planet!"

__

Liar! thought Cindy fiercely. She desperately wanted to deny the charges but feared that anything she said would be twisted to support Khormak's claims.

"You lie!" Princess Leama spat. The crowd began to buzz with worry, this division between their leaders both confusing and frightening everyone there.

Khormak's voice was like silk. "Do you deny that your personal guards trained this human?"

Leama looked somewhat discomfited. "No," she admitted.

"And it was by your command?"

"It was. But as I –"

"And do you deny," Khormak interrupted, "that this training revealed Felangian weaknesses for the human to exploit?"

"That is irrelevant!" was the princess' angry retort. "It could hardly be a matter of great concern."

"Were it limited to one exhibition match with one human, I would agree. But do you deny that many humans could also exploit these weaknesses? Possibly even an army?"

Cindy could stand no more. "That's absurd!" she said angrily. ""There's no army –"

"Silence, human," Khormak snapped. "These charges are for Her Highness to answer."

"My intent," the princess replied stonily, "was to help Carl train for the fight. Nothing more."

"That much is clear. But your intent was far from innocent. It is no secret that you wished the human, rather than your own champion, to win and to demonstrate our weaknesses to the humans. It is also no secret that you personally intervened when my assistants sought to interrogate the humans upon their arrival here. And deny, if you can, that your Royal Guard has been shielding them from scrutiny during their stay."

"I deny nothing," was the princess' defiant reply.

"So much the better. Your guilt is clear." Khormak turned and signaled to some uniformed Felangians within the crowd. "Officers! Arrest the princess and the humans for treason!"

The military officers moved forward uncertainly. Khormak was their commander, but even so his order went against their ingrained loyalty to the ruling house. As they did so a half dozen other Felangians, their loyalty undivided, immediately moved into the ring and surrounded Princess Leama and the humans in a protective circle. As Carl; Sheen, and Libby eyed their saviors Cindy breathed a sigh of relief. _Royal Guards_, she thought. The military officers ceased their advance, having no wish to confront the guards.

"It is you who is a traitor, Khormak!" the princess called in defiance. "Both you and all who stand with you. You've planned for this a long time, and now your treachery stands exposed!"

"Treason is simply a matter of dates," Khormak sneered. He turned again to the crowd. "She calls me a traitor for opposing her twisted plans to destroy our world and culture with her alien and subversive ideas. But I've long been aware of her intent. And I offer you all a final chance to save yourselves and all you hold dear. Behold!" He activated his handset. "Now," he said quietly.

At spoken command the roof of the arena began to unfold like the petals of the flower. As the roof opened the bright light of the Felangian afternoon flooded into the building, temporarily blinding everyone. As their eyes adjusted to the daylight dozens of shapes began to take form in the sky above them. Cindy's heart sank as she recognized the giant metallic chicken-shaped vessels hovering overhead.

Carl's voice quavered. "Yolkians," he managed to say.

Khormak turned triumphantly to the crowd. "You see?" he crowed. "Knowing the princess' evil plans I acted to protect Felangie. The humans thought to conquer, but we strike first. With the aid of the Yolkians we can put an end to that mudball planet and restore Felangie to her former glory before it is too late! With their assistance we cannot fail! Who is with me? Who is still a friend of Felangie?"

At the War Minister's cry a shout of support rang out from the crowd. The Royal Guards in the ring eyed the mob converging on them, but although they were outnumbered well over a thousand to one they stood their ground. The princess felt her eyes tearing at this final display of unswerving loyalty and attempted to find some words that would fit past the lump in her throat. "Thank you," was all she could manage.

As the ring of guards prepared their stand against he mob Cindy moved forward and flipped over the guards in front of her to land in a martial arts stance. "You want to fight humans?" she called out defiantly. "Well, find out what you're going to be up against!" The crowd slowed its advance, but did not stop.

At that Carl pushed his way past the guards and raised his gloved fists, determined to do what he could to protect Princess Leama. "All right, bring it on!" he screamed angrily. "Do you want a piece of me? _Do you want a piece of me?!_"

The crowd already within the ring easily outnumbered the princess and her defenders ten to one. There were also a number of Felangian military veterans who dwarfed Carl and had braved numerous savage combat missions. On the other hand, they had seen this one human fight their planetary champion to a standstill. The crowd halted their advance, uncertain what to do.

Khormak scowled. "Arrest them!" he ordered angrily, pointing to the small group of defiant defenders.

As the crowd milled about in indecision a voice familiar to the humans rang out, causing everyone to turn in bewilderment. "Arrest yourself!"

Jimmy had finally arrived.

End of Part 22


	24. Part 23 Checkmate

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 23:

For the first few seconds following Jimmy's defiant cry Khormak was filled with doubt and indecision as he wondered how it could be that this meddlesome human had returned to plague him. Then, seeing the three Yolkians flanking Jimmy, he relaxed. King Goobot had apparently transported the Earth boy back so that Jimmy could personally witness his friends' humiliation. In spite of himself Khormak felt grudging admiration. Despite the hopeless situation Neutron remained defiant.

"Arrest myself?" Khormak replied with mock civility. "On what charge?"

"Kidnapping, conspiracy, and treason," Jimmy answered coldly.

The crowd stirred restlessly at the accusations but Khormak only smiled, secure in his invincibility. "Those are serious charges," he remarked. "Have you any proof?"

"Proof enough. You seem to forget that after the stasis ray wore off I could hear everything you and your henchmen said. How you brought Carl here to demonstrate to your people how easy it would be to fight humans. How you arranged with Goobot to assist you in conquering Earth. And how you bargained with him to help you overthrow Princess Leama afterwards if you hand't already."

A growl of anger began to grow among the crowd nearest Khormak, but he remained unmoved both by that and the glare of hatred Princess Leama gave him. "Your word only, human," he replied coolly, spitting out the word _human_ like a distasteful morsel.

Jimmy smiled grimly. "Not quite, Khormak. There's one other. And under galactic law two independent witnesses are sufficient to indict."

"You're bluffing," Khormak sneered. "None of my associates would ever betray me in such a manner."

"You're right," conceded Jimmy. "But the witness isn't someone you would ever considered an associate." As Khormak looked baffled Jimmy called, "Exjay Nine! Will you corroborate my charges?"

From out of the crowd the robot emerged. "Yes, sir, I can."

Khormak looked aghast. "Exjay Nine! What are you saying?"

"I'm relating the truth, sir, " the robot replied in its polite tone. "For some time now on Princess Leama's orders I have been gathering information about your activities for Her Highness, even while you believed that I was doing the same for you. She has been quite aware of your activities for some time, but without proof could do nothing."

_So that's how she knew so much about what was going on_, thought Cindy. She shook her head in admiration. S_he was smart enough to not let even me figure out just how smart she really is._

The robot was continuing to confirm Jimmy's accusations. "You did in fact bring Master Wheezer here to demonstrate how easy it would be to defeat the humans. I was privy to and, by Her Highness' direct orders, part of your plans to kidnap Master Neutron. I was also witness to your bargain to turn him over to King Goobot in exchange for his military assistance. And I have filed many reports substantiating your intentions to depose Princess Leama. Yes, sir, I must witness that the charges against you are true."

During Exjay Nine's testimony the expression on Khormak's face had changed from polite indifference to cold rage. When he spoke a dangerous edge to his voice made his words cut like razors. "Bravo, Jimmy Neutron," he said. "I see King Goobot's warnings about you were well-founded. You've uncovered the truth. And why shouldn't I admit it? It is no secret that I've long believed that I should rule. Power is the right of males and warriors, not simpering females."

"Traitor," hissed Princess Leama furiously. The anger of the crowd at Khormak's treachery was nearly as intense and several Felangians started forward to seize the War Minister. Seeing them closing in Khormak gave a loud, harsh laugh that caused them to freeze in their tracks.

"Idiots!" he shrilled. "I offered this planet a chance for greatness. And if you won't accept it of your own free will, then I will force it on you. Have you forgotten the war fleet above you? It could have carried you to victory against Earth. Now it will subjugate you to my will and your destiny!"

Cindy wasn't sure that Khormak was entirely sane any more, if ever he was. He would destroy his own people and planet to bend it to his twisted purposes? She looked pleadingly at Jimmy, wondering what he could hope to do now.

Jimmy gave her an odd smile and turned again to face Khormak. "I don't think so," he told the would-be tyrant quietly.

Khormak stared. "And what do you intend to do about it?" he jeered.

"Stop you."

Again Khormak loosed a mad shriek of laughter. "You and what army?" he sneered when he had caught his breath again.

"Funny you should ask," Jimmy replied with an evil smile. "This one." He brought his wrist communicator to his mouth and said, "Mib."

"What?" asked Khormak, baffled.

"Mib mib," came from Jimmy's communicator.

"Not that sound again!" screamed Sheen, tearing at his hair.

At first nothing seemed to happen, but as the crowd looked curiously at Jimmy the Yolkians at his side slowly wavered and coalesced into the shapes of a young Gorlock girl, what seemed a cross between an earthworm and a tripod, and a brain and spinal cord with eyes. Despite the circumstances Cindy seethed inwardly at the sight of April. _What's she doing here?_ she fumed to herself.

Khormak's supporters shifted nervously and muttered among themselves.

"Gorlocks…"

"Needleheads…"

"And Brains…"

"Oh, my," said Libby.

"Look!" cried Cindy, pointing up at the sky. The crowd strained to see what she was staring at. High overhead the Yolkian ships also rippled and shimmered, hardening into ships of a different but lethal-looking design. Most of the spectators didn't recognize them, but it was clear that Khormak and his followers did and were not at all happy about it.

"Gorlock battle cruisers," Cindy heard one of them mutter.

"Manned by the First Alliance of Gorlocks, Needleheads, and Brains," Jimmy added.

"Although I personally felt that it would have been more logical to arrange the names alphabetically and call it the First Alliance of Brains, Gorlocks, and Needleheads," the Brain at Jimmy's side stated.

"It's all over, Minister Khormak," said Jimmy. "Or maybe I should say 'Ex-minister Khormak'."

"You should," Princess Leama agreed. "Guards, take Khormak and his cohorts into custody." The guards quickly obliged, fastening collars about the prisoners' necks and gripping the captives securely by each arm as the crowd cheered and shouted Princess Leama's name.

Carl looked curiously at the collars. "What are those?" he asked one of the guards who was holding Khormak.

"Shock collars," the guard replied. "They're used if the prisoners get out of line."

"Do they hurt?"

The guard glanced at Khormak's sullen face. "I hope so."

Princess Leama stepped up to Khormak, her face devoid of expression. "Khormak, I might have been able to forgive you had your malevolent villainy been directed against me alone. But you sought to betray not only me but your own planet and people."

"And I would have gotten away with it, too," Khormak responded bitterly, "if it hadn't been for these meddling kids." Suddenly he writhed as a momentary shock passed through his collar and left him temporarily speechless.

"What was that for?" Sheen wanted to know.

The guard shrugged. "I hate that cliché."

The princess had briefly paused at Khormak's outburst but now went on. "Because you sought to betray your entire world it is not within my power to forgive you. Your punishment must be severe."

"What are you planning?" asked Cindy. "Banishment?"

"Permanent exile?" suggested Libby.

"Execution?" whispered Carl fearfully.

The princess smiled and shook her head. "No. I wish to have an enlightened world, and I think an enlightened punishment is called for. Exjay Nine!"

The robot obediently trundled forward. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"Take Khormak and his supporters to the detention area," the princess said, "and have them each write 'I will not seek to usurp the seat of the rightful ruler of Felangie' one billion times. Neatly, of course. And be sure the spelling is correct."

"Pretty harsh sentences," commented Carl.

"Yeah," agreed Libby. "A billion each of them."

"As you wish, Princess," the robot replied. He took charge of Khormak and the other prisoners and began leading them away. As he did so Khormak gave a final shout of defiance.

"I'll get you, Jimmy Neutron!" the Felangian screamed. "Eternal vengeance will be mine!"

Again he squirmed as a shock passed through his collar. "Sentences first," Exjay Nine said primly. "Eternal vengeance later."

As the miserable prisoners were taken from the arena Sheen shook his head sadly. "If only he had used his malevolent villainy for good, instead of evil," he said sorrowfully.

Libby gave Sheen of look of bewildered disbelief. "Sheen, do you ever listen to what things sound like in your head before they come out of your mouth?"

"Well, I used to," Sheen admitted. "but I found that it slowed conversations down a lot." Libby shook her head in despair and rolled her eyes.

Jimmy had made his way down to the ring accompanied by April, the Needlehead, and the Brain. "Hi, guys," he called cheerfully. "Did you miss me?"

Cindy folded her arms and refused to look directly at him. "No need to," she responded coldly. "It looks like you have more than enough companions to do that when you're gone." She gave April a sideways glance out of the corner of her eye. "More than enough," she repeated, her voice growing even more icy.

The others, on the other hand, were curious as to what had happened and had a lot of questions they wanted Jimmy to answer. "Come on, Jimmy," said Libby. "There are a few things I still don't get and I want you to answer them."

"Okay," Jimmy said agreeably. "If it's all right with Princess Leama."

"Certainly," the princess replied graciously. "Why don't we all go back to the palace? I think we all have questions. And I would definitely like to thank everyone properly."

End of Part 23


	25. Part 24 Filling in the Gaps

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 24:

The group that met in the formal reception hall of the royal palace that evening was arguably the most diverse that had gathered together in the recent history of Felangie. In addition to Jimmy, Cindy, Sheen, Libby, and Carl there were April and her parents, a half dozen Needleheads, several Brains, and several robots, including Exjay Nine. Princess Leama had harbored some private concerns that her xenophobic subjects might object to so many different races gathered together in one place at one time, but she was pleased to see that her fears were groundless. The actions of the off-worlders in foiling Khormak's attempted coup had earned them a considerable amount of goodwill on the part of the Felangians and the invited Felangian guests mingled freely and amiably with Gorlocks, Needleheads, Brains, Terrans, and automata.

Immediately upon returning to the palace the princess had given orders to her servants and guards to prepare a special gathering for that evening and to send special invitations to the leaders of the orbiting fleet. Then, after giving instructions that she and her guests were not to be disturbed for fifty chronals, she had led the party to a private chamber to discuss what had happened. Most of the questions were directed at Jimmy, as he had been missing for the past couple days, and his friends as well as Princess Leama were eager to hear what had happened.

"Well," he had said, "there really isn't much to tell. Exjay Nine told me that Cindy was in the hospital so I went with him to see her and –"

Cindy had interrupted him at this. "You thought I was hurt? And you were coming to see me?"

Jimmy had shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"How sweet," Libby had commented with a smile.

Cindy had also smiled, making Jimmy redden and rush on with his story to avoid any further embarrassment. "Anyway, we hadn't gone far when I was hit from behind with some sort of paralysis beam – apparently the same kind of thing they used on Carl when Khormak's thugs brought him from Earth."

"A stasis ray," one of the princess' Royal Guard had commented.

"Yes, that's probably it. The next thing I knew I was in a locked compartment. I didn't know where I was or what was happening, but I could hear Khormak's voice outside the door giving instructions to his assistants. He was telling them that he had decided that I would be more valuable alive as barter to King Goobot in exchange for the Yolkians' assistance in his plans to overthrow Princess Leama. I guess if he had waited a few minutes more to pass that on I wouldn't be here now."

"How awful!" Cindy had exclaimed.

"Yeah. But being taken to Yolkus wouldn't exactly an improvement."

"I do apologize for your distress," the princess had said. "My guards had all of you under surveillance and were aware of your plight but I knew that if they intervened immediately Khormak would very likely have cancelled his plans and plotted to strike another day in another matter I might not discover. If it means anything, it was a difficult decision to not interfere. I was certain that Khormak would not dare harm you on Felangie, but it appears that I was wrong. Had I known, I would have done something."

"The fault was mine," the High Captain of the Royal Guard had put in. "I advised Her Highness. If anyone is to blame, it is I."

"That's okay," Jimmy had assured them. "Things worked out, and I fully realize now what the stakes were."

"You have your friends to thank for much of that," Princess Leama had continued. "I learned that Cindy and Libby had become aware of your plight and were on Khormak's trail. The guard assigned to your friends advised me of their actions and was instructed not to interfere. They managed to convince Khormak that they would be able to locate you and prompted him to hasten his plans to send you off-planet. Once you were in space I knew I could send a dispatch vessel to intercept the transport and rescue you, although there was still the chance that Khormak would learn of my actions. Fortunately, once again, Cindy was able to take action and save me from having to reveal that I knew anything of his plans."

"So the chauffeur really did deliberately keep us from stopping that ship," Cindy had said. "I thought so."

The High Captain had nodded. "Yes. If Khormak's henchmen had been arrested it could have warned Khormak that his plot had been discovered. All our efforts to trap him would have been in vain."

Jimmy had given Cindy a look of frank admiration. "So you managed to force Khormak's hand? Nice going."

It had been Cindy's turn to blush at that. "It was nothing. Really. Like the saying goes, 'The wicked flee where no man pursues.' Getting Khormak to cough you up was easy. Getting you back was little harder. All I had was April's name and the name of her planet. Luckily she was something of a celebrity after being on _Galactic Showdown_ and the Gorlock communications center was able to find a listing that I could send a message to. I wasn't sure how much Khormak could find out so I had to keep the message a little terse and cryptic. I wasn't even sure that April got the message until the stellagram arrived."

"Yes," April had put in. "Her message said only 'Important package dispatched. May be damaged on Yolkus. Please help. Say hello to Jimmy.' Since the message said to say hello to Jimmy but he was not on Gorlock I decided that the message meant that he must be the package on a ship to Yolkus and that he was in danger. My father checked with the Felangian space authorities and learned that only one transport had left for Yolkus. He notified the Gorlock space patrol to intercept it."

"I really appreciate that," Jimmy had said soberly. "I mean, having the space patrol come to help me and all."

April had smiled at Jimmy and in spite of herself Cindy couldn't help feeling a wave of jealously when Jimmy had smiled back. "You and your friends saved our planet. We could do no less."

"So the Gorlocks saved you from being taken to Goobot," Libby had commented. "Then what?"

Jimmy had looked startled. "What? Oh, yes. Well, the space patrol intercepted the transport and took me to Gorlock. Once there we needed a plan. One on hand we had to make sure that Khormak didn't know about my rescue. We also had to make him believe that his plan had succeeded so he'd reveal himself as a traitor. We were able to kill both birds with one stone."

At this the Brain had added his part to the story. "It was a rather logical solution to the situation. Deception was needed, and with our mental powers deception is quite simple. We convinced King Goobot that Minister Khormak had contacted him to verify the time of the arrival of the Yolkians fleet and to delay the plans by one day."

"So they'll be arriving here tomorrow to take over Felangie and invade Earth?" Carl had asked fearfully.

"No, not really," Jimmy had replied. "There's a war fleet around this planet, remember? Even if King Goobot wouldn't cancel his plans because Khormak couldn't deliver there's one thing I've learned about eggs. They all turn chicken."

"To continue," the Brain had gone on dryly, "gathering the Gorlock fleet and disguising it with our illusion-casting powers as a Yolkian armada took some time. We had to stall Khormak until we could arrive."

Cindy had finally understood why Jimmy had asked her to keep the fight from ending. As long as the fight kept going it would keep Khormak from having an excuse to accuse the princess of treachery. "So that's why you called me and asked me to find some way to keep the fight going?" she had asked Jimmy.

Jimmy had nodded. "That's right. How did you do it?"

"Uh…" Cindy had fidgeted uncomfortably. "I sort of…told Carl that Princess Leama was counting on him to win the fight." She drew a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Carl. I didn't…I mean, what I said to you was…" Words had failed her at Carl's innocently bewildered stare.

To her relief Princess Leama had interrupted. "What Cindy is trying to say, Carl, is that what she said was only a pale reflection of my feelings. I am truly and eternally grateful for your efforts on my behalf and on the behalf of my people and planet. I think that in many ways I and my subjects owe this victory to you more than anyone else."

Carl had dug his toe bashfully into the deep carpet. "It was nothing, really."

"It was everything," the princess had answered, "and tonight at a special reception I should like to honor and award you all for your efforts on my behalf." At this there had been a buzz of embarrassed delight. It had been cut short by Sheen's sudden comment.

"All right, fine," he had said. "I can understand everything that's been said. But," he had gone one, pointing at the Needlehead. "why did you need to bring the Needleheads? What did they do?"

At this the Needlehead had gone up to Sheen and begun speaking rapidly. "Mib mib mib, mib, mib mib…"

Sheen had covered his ears and had screamed, "All right, all right, I'll take your word for it! Just stop talking!"

At the reception that evening Princess Leama had presented special medals of valor to the Gorlock, Brain, and Needlehead leaders, to Jimmy, Cindy, Sheen, and Libby, and to Exjay Nine. To Carl's puzzled and abashed delight she did not award him a medal, instead knighting him as Sir Carl Wheezer, Honorary Officer of the Felangian Royal Guard. Following the ceremonies the attendants were free to mix and mingle.

Jimmy was interested in speaking with Exjay Nine. "Tell me," Jimmy said, "why is it that you chose to help Princess Leama when technically you were assigned to Minister Khormak? Wouldn't that violate your fundamental programming?"

"An interesting observation, Master Neutron," the robot responded. "But you are incorrect in stating that my service to ex-Minister Khormak was my fundamental programming. My fundamental programming is to respect all sentient species. Perhaps someday it will be accepted that robots are also a sentient species worthy of respect from organic ones. Under ex-Minister Khormak's rule I could never hope to be anything more than a machine to him and others. But through Prncess Leama's policies that time may yet come. Perhaps not during my serviceable duty life, but perhaps my replacements will function long enough to see the day."

"Call me Jimmy." Jimmy eyed the medal on the robots burnished torso. "And maybe it will be sooner. Maybe today you made a lot more progress towards that than you think."

The robot regarded the medal thoughtfully. "Yes. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps, Master – I mean, Jimmy."

As a member of the Royal Guard one of Carl's first duties was to act as Princess Leama's official escort. After making the rounds of the guests they found themselves alone by a table in a corner of the great hall. The princess seemed very quiet and Carl wondered if he had done anything wrong.

"No, Carl," Princess Leama answered when Carl asked about it. "You've done nothing wrong. I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"About how close Khormak came to succeeding with his plans. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps I am not fit to rule. The world seems to me so bleak and hopeless at times. I have fought evil like Khormak's for so long to make this a planet where people can be free to choose…but perhaps it is not a fight I can win."

"My friend Jimmy says that the only fights that evil wins are by forfeit," Carl answered. "Whatever that means."

The princess thought about that and smiled. "Your friend is very wise." She paused and said hesitantly, "May I ask you a personal question?"

"Umm…okay," Carl said uncertainly.

"Khormak referred to you as 'kids'. Why did he do that?"

Carl looked relieved. "Oh, that's easy. Because we are."

The princess looked stunned. "What?"

"I'm only twelve…almost. So are Cindy and Libby and Jimmy. Sheen is a couple years older, but he's still not very old. We won't even be adults for another six years or so."

Princess Leama shook her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I did not know. I thought you were adults, not a child like me."

Now Carl looked perplexed. "Why?"

"In our species, we change physically as we grow so that we can tell adults from younglings. When I spoke with Cindy and Libby I was told that humans look very much the same though life and only changed in size. But no one ever told me how big an adult human was. The dangers you each faced…and the courage you all showed…" She shook her head again. "It is hard to imagine."

Musicians had begun to play at the other end of the hall and the guests began to pair together and dance, except for the Needleheads who seemed determined to dance in groups of three. Carl gestured towards the dancers and tried to sound casual despite his quavering voice and sweaty hands. "Well, now that you know I'm a kid, would you like to dance?"

The princess regarded him gravely before smiling. "I would like that very much."

After the reception ended sometime after midnight Princess Leama retired to bed and lay awake thinking for awhile. Five Earth children had traveled light-years through space and had helped to remove a serious danger that had long threatened her world. Children, she thought, that were much like her. If they could stand and triumph over such odds, perhaps she could as well.

Suddenly her world did not seem so bleak and hopeless.

End of Part 24


	26. Epilog Anything Worth Having

The Eye of the Llama

by Gary D. Snyder

Epilog:

When Jimmy, Cindy, Sheen, and Libby arrived at the Candy Bar the following Saturday they found that Carl was already there, sitting alone in a booth and eating one of Sam's exotic sundaes. To be more precise Carl would scrape indifferently at the ice cream and topping, transfer the mixture to his mouth, and then stare wordlessly into space for several minutes before taking another spoonful. His friends stared at his performance for several minutes, not certain what to do or say.

"What's the matter with Carl?" Sheen finally whispered.

"If it's one of Sam's new flavors that's all the explanation we need," Jimmy whispered back.

"Are you kidding?" Sheen asked in a low voice. "That's Sam's Cherryatric Treatmint. It's one of Carl's favorites."

"Then what could it be?" Jimmy asked.

Cindy shook her head in disgust at the boys' obliviousness. "Are you blind or just naturally stupid? It's Leama."

Sheen looked again. "Really? It sure looks like Carl to me."

Libby punched him on the arm, but Sheen had gotten so used to this from Libby that he barely reacted to the blow. "Come on, Cindy," Libby said. "It looks like Carl needs some female understanding and sympathy." The girls headed over to the booth, closely followed by Jimmy and Sheen.

"Hi, Carl," said Cindy brightly.

For a second Carl didn't seem to notice the four of them standing there. Then his eyes seemed to focus and he blinked. "Oh. Hi, guys." He took another mouthful of ice cream and lapsed back into silence.

Libby tried next. "How are you feeling, Carl?"

Carl shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"Just okay?" Sheen asked. "Dude, you just had the most excellent adventure ever! You helped a keep a bad guy from taking over an entire planet and were even made a knight for it. Even Useless Rich can't say that."

"Eustace Strych," Libby corrected.

"Close enough," countered Sheen.

"And what you did helped in forming the Stellar Alliance of Felangians, Gorlocks, Needleheads, and Brains," Cindy pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," said Carl. "It's just that…well…"

"Carl, we understand about Princess Leama," Jimmy said. "It's always hard to leave a friend."

Cindy shot Jimmy a warning look, but Jimmy's words seemed to be the catalyst that Carl needed to start talking. "No, it's more than that," Carl answered. "I really liked here as more than a friend. Kind of like you and Cindy, or Sheen and Libby. And…I think she liked me, too – once she found out I was just a kid like her."

Jimmy automatically went on the defensive. "What do you mean, like me and Cindy?" he asked. "We're not –"

"Later, Jimmy," Libby said. "Big picture here." Jimmy subsided and Libby went on. "I know it's hard, Carl," she said in a gentle voice. "But you'll get through this. Everyone does. Trust me."

Carl shook his head. "It's not the same was with everyone else. This is different."

"But it's not like you can't see here again," Cindy pointed out. "You're a knight of the Felangian Royal Guard. You have diplomatic privilege to visit Felangie at any time."

"Not to mention the fact that you're ranked ninth for the Galactic Heavyweight title now," added Sheen.

Carl's shoulders slumped. "But it's not the same as being friends. Whenever I see her she'll have to be a princess and I'll have to be a Royal Guard and we can't just go to the movies or take a walk together or share a sundae or ever even hold hands."

Sheen sounded puzzled. "I thought you said that you break out in hives when you think about holding a girl's hand."

"That's not the point," Carl answered miserably.

"Yeah, I know," Jimmy nodded. "She's a Felangian princess and you're an commoner C- student from Earth. It's like you're people from two different worlds."

"Who are from two different worlds," Sheen put in.

"Well, if the Lee's ideas ever become official policy maybe all that will change someday," Libby suggested. "Maybe

Carl's face showed the classic battle between hope and reality. "But that could be years in the future!" he said. "That doesn't help me now."

"As much as I hate to say it," Cindy said slowly, "that's probably true. It might be years of waiting and hard work before you could hope to see Lee on a social basis."

"You see, Carl?" Jimmy said. "It's better to just put it all behind you and move on."

Cindy immediately bristled. "Just what is that supposed to mean, Neutron?"

"What?" Jimmy asked, taken totally off-guard. "It doesn't mean anything. You just said –"

"I said that there would be challenges. But everything worth fighting for has challenges."

"He should be practical about this. There will be other girls that will be easier for him to have a relationship with," Jimmy argued back.

"Oh, so you think the most important aspect of love is convenience? What if I lived across town? Would you refuse to get involved with me because it was inconvenient?" Cindy was fuming now.

"I'm not saying that!" Jimmy nearly shouted.

"Men!" Libby snorted in disgust. "You're all alike!"

"Hey, what did I say?" Sheen protested.

"Nothing," Libby shot back, "which obviously means that you agree with Jimmy."

"Hey, what a minute! What kind of reasoning is that?" Sheen spluttered.

"Love has nothing to do with reason."

"You can say that again, Vortex."

"I don't know why I believed for even one second –"

"I didn't know your mind could focus that long –"

"You can forget about that movie today –"

"But I already got the tickets –"

"Sorry if that's not very _convenient_ for you –"

As the squabbling between the couples grew in volume and intensity Carl watched with an oddly growing sense of inner contentment. He swallowed another spoonful of ice cream and syrup, enjoying the flavor and sensation of the sticky concoction for the first time that day. _I guess can wait after all_, he thought happily.

__

Fought the fight, stayed on his feet,

Saved the girl, went the distance.

Showed them all he's the person to beat –

Had the will, had the heart, had the drive.

And the Eye of the Llama will stay cheerful and bright

From the hopes of the day he'll see Leama.

And he knows that the day will always be within sight

If he's true to the view in the Eye of the Llama.

The Eye of the Llama…

The Eye of the Llama…

THE END

Author's Notes:

This is by far the longest story I've written to date, by a factor of almost two. A very strange thing is that it could easily have been longer. There were many obvious openings that would have added another dozen chapters – what happened to Jimmy and the formation of the Alliance that were alluded to, for example. Rather than dragging it out, however, I decided that it was in everyone's best interests to not extend it any more than I did. I think most authors have discovered that doubling a story complicates things by a factor of four and it is easy for quality to suffer as a result. I also think that there is a limit to how long a story can be. I definitely don't want to test the patience and rules of those hosting the FanFic web site by seeing just how long.


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